From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people who attempt to improve their states of mind is feeling motivated to use the strategies when they have already slipped into negativity. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we just cannot help but fall into a less empowering mood, and then we stop doing the things we know we should do to feel good.
For example, imagine that you spent a whole week training up a new staff or team member, only to discover that s/he quit at the end of the week. At the same time you realise that your wallet has gone missing and that the new staff member incorrectly completed the contact section of the staff contract.
Angry!
Or this: you spend three hours writing a report and your computer crashes. You reboot your computer, access the recovered file and your computer crashes again! This time you lose the lot and you have to start again.
Frustrated!
The chances are, that if something happens to you that spontaneously makes you feel negative, such as in the above examples, you would not immediately feel motivated to change your state. In fact, you WANT to stay angry, frustrated etc. You LIKE IT!
The trouble is, remaining in a negative state, perpetuates the very problem that you are feeling negative about. For example, if you feel angry because someone stole your wallet or broke your trust, staying angry for the rest of the day won't help you to earn the money back. If you feel frustrated because you lost three hours worth of work on a report, staying frustrated won't help you to rewrite it.
In order to come out of the negative state of mind, we need to associate more pain to continuing to feel negative, and pleasure to feeling happy again. We have to make a conscious decision that we want to be happy, and do something about it.
How? As soon as we recognise that we are feeling negative, we can acknowledge that the negativity has been caused by losing something we enjoyed, or gaining something we didn't want. Once we know what that 'something' is, we can combat the bad state of mind by focusing on what we need to do to fix it. We can change from an emotional state to a goal achieving state. Sometimes when we feel angry, for example, we remain in that state because we feel like it helps to get what we want.
As I explain in my new book, Fast Track Your Success and Happiness, If we focus on achieving a goal (even if it is just a little one) we are no longer focusing on ourselves and our bad moods tend to disappear on their own.
So for example, if someone steals your wallet, focussing on the goal of cancelling your credit cards will put you in a better state (and be more productive) than thinking about how angry you are with the person who did it. If you lose a document, immediately sitting back down to rewrite it will have you feeling like a champ when you finish. If you are feeling unwell, setting a small goal (that won't make you feel physically worse) will help to shift the focus away from your poor health.
If you are just feeling TOO negative to be able to concentrate on achieving a goal, go and do any activity that requires concentration. For example, if you are at home you could watch a comedy video (the moving pictures and constant audio stream uses a large portion of our attention) or if you are at work, you could find something distracting to do.
The key is, distraction and change of focus, will help to change a negative emotion even if we are not motivated to change ourselves.
(C) Copyright Petra Rankin 2005
Petra Rankin used powerful techniques to beat her own long-term depression. She is now dedicated to teaching others how to be happier and lead more successful lives. Her first book fast track your success and happiness is due to be launched in September 2005 and is currently available for download as a fast track your success and happiness instead of paying $19.95. Limited time only!
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..Conflict is unavoidable. How we respond to it makes a... Read More
I woke up this morning feeling sour.No. That's an understatement.... Read More
The easiest, most exciting adventure in consciousness follows the lamplit... Read More
Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More
Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More
John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm... Read More
When you have a case of FABS, it may be... Read More
It really doesn't matter what your objectives are in this... Read More
One often hears people say they can't sketch because they... Read More
One of my class fellows was really tensed, when asked... Read More
Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are... Read More
I AM SO GRATEFUL for meeting challenges head-on. We see... Read More
"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More
Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More
It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right... Read More
It is widely believed that just anybody has the intrinsic... Read More
So, is this really where you thought you'd be? You're... Read More
By definition,an affirmation is a statement repeated time and again... Read More
Are you completely happy in your life right now? Honestly?... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..Ten tips to transform your move into a creative life... Read More
Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More
"Spiritual Intelligence" (SI) is the ability of a person to... Read More
I have had many confidence issues in my life, all... Read More
Drinking damages the soul; being lustful damages the vitality; greed... Read More
Celebrating is a skill that adults with ADD (Attention Deficit... Read More
Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
The quality of your life is directly related to your... Read More
Have you truly tried and still failed? Have you pushed... Read More
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More
With the beginning of a new year, are you happy... Read More
Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More
"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More
What are you holding onto? Wanta quit?There are many things... Read More
Gratitude is one of the most important things you can... Read More
An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More
Just 2 nights ago my partner and I were watching... Read More
P.M.A - so what is it? Some people will automatically... Read More
A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing... Read More
Bosses can't control many things at work. In fact, they... Read More
Positive thinking in this day and age is a tool... Read More
"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before... Read More
A joke is a way of getting people to laugh.... Read More
The only thing between you and your desire to be... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |