Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will stumble into a rendition about 'how miserable life is.' The adult children are wrecking havoc in the home, the job's not going well, money is short, and a whole other slew of treacherous stories. During the conversation, I would interject, 'but how does this effect you personally?'

Much to my dismay, that query is usually left unanswered. Clearly we have all been in similar communication and being the compassionate persons we are, we might ask, 'so what are you going to do about it?' The most common response, 'I don't know...' or '...I can't do anything about it...'

That's when the conversation get's sticky. Now that the other person has literally poured out his heart to you about all the demons in his life, we human beings are compelled to offer our intricate advice on how to deal with their problems. Though well intended, most of our advisement will fall on deaf ears when the individual in question, is inviting misery in her life.

What do I mean by 'inviting misery?' Who would invite misery into his life? We are all guilty of inviting misery into our lives at one time or another. Suddenly, we are faced with a problem and because the problem has clouded our logic, we can not and will not accept helpful advice. Instead, we harp on the problem. We permit the problem or problems to rule our individual lives and lifestyles. Because we succomb to the problem, we begin to 'live' the problem. How does that happen? We begin to live the problem when all we can do is rant and rave about it, but subsequently, do nothing about it.

So now we're back to square one.

Here is a hypothetical example:

Joe is no one in particular - he could be your best friend, co-worker or brother. He is a divorced man in his mid-40s, works in a factory or office, and has raised two children by himself. His son is a narcissist who has a devil-may-care attitude and neglects his child. You're in mid-conversation and now you're faced with Joe's married son's issues. Joe begins to tell you all about how his son leaches off of him, brings his dirty laundry for him to wash, neglects his grandson, and doesn't listen to him for any parental advice. Joe has become so consumed by his son's wreckless behavior and unwillingness to modify his lifestyle that Joe himself has become a nervous wreck. So what do you do? You offer your friend your 'helpful' advice: 'Stop letting your son run your life...if he's not taking care of his child, turn him in...' What happens next is inevitable: "I CAN'T do that!"

Now this is where we are ultimately faced with a critical dilemma. We have now invaded Joe's private space and have warranted retalliation because Joe doesn't really want to solve his problems. Joe just wants to complain about problems that aren't his. It's his son - of course they're his problems - wrong.

But how does that invite misery? Well, it doesn't invite misery into our own lives, but it does in Joe's case. Joe knows that he has all the tools at his disposal to fix part or all of the situation. It's not that Joe can't fix the problem, it's that he doesn't want to fix the problem. Repairing situations takes effort, dedication and sometimes, sacrifice - it is much easier to complain about it. In Joe's case, turning his son in for neglect may sever the ties of his complex father-son relationship. He feels instant guilt and betrayal should he file a report. He doesn't want to stop his son from using him because he may sever ties of communication with him. Instead, he would rather uphold an abusive relationship with his own grown son, knowing that his grandson is in harm's way for the sake of preserving his relationship with him. This is a classical example of inviting misery into one's life.

Joe has subconsciously invited misery to become his partner in everyday life. He lives in constant debate on whether he's doing the 'right thing.' He is angry that his son has grown into a volatile person, and he is scared for his grandson's health. But still, he accepts this self-induced fate. Joe cannot control the actions of his son, but, he can control his own actions. If he permits his son to burden him with his behavior, dirty laundry and leaching, then he has invariably created his own problem. If Joe has knowledge that his grandson is being neglected, it is by choice that he allows the neglect to continue. Only Joe has the power to choose.

As human beings, we are often faced with difficult choices in life. And many times, it is much easier to worry and complain. Though difficult decisions may arise, we still have the option to create more livable environments by directing ourselves in more constructive pattens. There are many 'Joes' out there with lesser or more complex problems than the fictional Joe in this article; however, you - nor I - can help him. Joe has to help himself first.

*If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis and needs help resolving personal issues, please feel free to review our holistic and consumer resources directories at HolisticJunction.com for counseling help today.

Disclaimer: Literature is intended for educational purposes only and is not intended to substitute the advice provided by a licensed health professional

? 2005 - Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?
by C. Bailey-Lloyd aka. LadyCamelot

C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot is the Public Relations Director & Staff Writer for holistic junction -- Your source of information for holistic junction; holistic junction; other Alternative Healthcare; Insightful Literature and so much more!

In The News:

Apple recently notified a small number of iPhone customers in 92 countries that their phones may be under attack by mercenary spyware.

An artificial intelligence-powered home security system can fire paintballs and tear gas at trespassers. The camera identifies human faces and animals.

Technology expert Kim Komando gives her tips and tricks on enhancing your user experience a smartphone and other devices you use everyday.

A new camera called NUCA uses artificial intelligence to create deepfake photos of subjects by stripping away clothing in close to real time.

The Kimberley Kube trail-ready camper has a compact but spacious design and combines luxury, functionality and ruggedness for a weekend getaway.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Emails instructing you to reset your password for an account may be legitimate, or they may be scams. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.

Northrop Grumman's Manta Ray uncrewed underwater vehicle aims to revolutionize undersea missions — it glides through the ocean without human assistance.

Learn how to work Google's calendar application to streamline and organize your daily tasks from technology expert Kim Komando.

If you do not want Facebook to have automatic access to your private photos, follow our tips to protect yourself. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson goes into detail about Apple’s recent iOS update that allows iPhone users to instantly translate spoken language simply by using the Action Button.

Safeguarding your digital life with a reliable physical backup isn't just a precaution, it's a necessity. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides the essential backup checklist.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how a Redditor exposed false recycling claims at their apartment, highlighting a report that only 21% of U.S. recyclables are processed.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson offers a travel toolkit featuring five technology tools to help you with booking flights and hotels for your summer vacation.

The bubble behind the clock on your iPhone can appear in different colors. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what each of those colors mean.

Scammers are using the power of artificial intelligence to mimic voices of people and are using the fake voices to commit crimes, like kidnappings.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the science behind the Invisibility Shield, a 6-foot shield that makes people become invisible.

The International Olympic Committee on Friday announced plans to use AI in various Olympic aspects, including athlete identification, training and judging.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains an easy trick to avoid squinting while working or surfing the web by zooming in on your personal computer.

Streaming giant Roku has recently been targeted by a pair of cyberattacks, and the company confirmed over a half million Roku accounts were compromised.

The Land Aircraft Carrier combines an all-terrain, six-wheeled vehicle with a two-seat aircraft, which features electric vertical takeoff and landing.

The European Union has sent TikTok a "request for information" on the video sharing platform's newest app, TikTok Lite, under the Digital Services Act, with the aim to clean up social media.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The FBI is warning the public about a recent phishing scam via text that claims its targets owe money in Pennsylvania for unpaid road toll charges.

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Positive Attitude Tips