The question I have for you drives right to the heart of the matter. It could alter that tired, haggard feeling you have at the end of a day or weekend. It could alter the life of your children for the better and the life of their future partner. More than that, it could even alter your community, because once I've told you the question and you've seen how powerful it is you'll want to share it with your brother, sister, neighbours and friends.
Before I ask you my question I want to set the scene. You're a loving parent striving to give your children the best life you can offer. You race around the household picking up their dirty underwear from under the bed, collecting the towels from the bathroom floor and spend whatever time it takes to knock up their favourite food while one of your children spends fifty percent of their free time surfing the net and talking in chat rooms and the other catches up on thirty hours of TV a week. Meantime, you?
Well, sometimes you might feel tired. Sometimes deflated. Sometimes unappreciated and perhaps just a tad grumpy! If you relate to any of what I describe then my question will change it all for you and I recommend you read on.
For women, age-old family values still play a big part. Values passed on ? mother-to-mother ? combine with the natural instincts to love, support and nurture. And despite doing a day job you probably still arrive home and strive to take care of your family in the way your mother took care of you. But are your mother's old values working for you and, just as importantly, are they working for your children?
So, here is the question?
What kind of children do you want to raise?
Do we want to raise well-rounded, confident, considerate children that show gratitude and appreciation for all that is given to them and just a fraction of what you do for them? Do you want strong, loving children, who understand and accept responsibility for their 'self' and the ones they love. If you do then I have a second question for you?
Will the current behaviour in your household make that happen?
Will chatting to strangers on the internet during a large part of her free time help your daughter become a confident, considerate woman? Will Homer Simpson help your son to respect his 'self' and the ones he loves? And will you picking up their sweaty, crumpled, underwear help them to become responsible for their own lives?
I recently overheard a woman talking about her 12 year-old son. She confessed to laying out his clothes each morning, packing his school bag with books and food and then she said, "Because if I don't, he'll forget." This shocked me and here is why?
My own children, since the age of five have done all the things that a lot of mother's still do. Why? Because I am their parent ? their guide and leader, not their nanny ? and as such I have a responsibility to first nurture, then educate, then, as soon as they are ready, hand over responsibility for their wellbeing to them. Children who take part in their own life ? pick up their dirty linen, contribute to dinner and tidying their home ? go on to become confident, well-rounded, respectful kids; and children who don't? well they're the ones you might moan about to your friends when you witness them disrespecting both other human beings and the environment.
Begin by directing your children to take on small tasks. Ask them to put their clothes in a washing basket or hang a towel up. Ask them to bring their plates to the sink and wash them after dinner and tell them they are helping you and that you really appreciate their help. Give them a hug for their help and they might do even more! As they get better increase the tasks. Ask them to cut the grass for you, iron the clothes or cook dinner. And if you think that is too much responsibility then think about this?
A Maasai tribe leader appointed a seven year-old girl as the person in charge of two-thirds of his village's wealth. The wealth was not held in money, but in three camels. The girl was responsible for ensuring that these camels stayed safe and well fed and she knew if she failed to do this properly then the villagers may end up starving. Maybe we could trust our children with a vacuum or a mop or a duster once or twice a week!
Help your children to find purpose in life. Find more time for your 'self' so you can to define your own purpose more strongly.
About The Author
Neil Millar is the novelist behind the potent SAS adventure Black Water, personal development writer and author of Simple Steps to Greater Happiness and Be the Hero in your Own Life. Neil's words inspire people to find greater reward in their work and more fun in their personal relationships and life. Subscribe to the Ezine he writes for Unstoppable Life? FREE!
Join Neil's readership at Unstoppable Life and get a FREE copy of his e-book, Steps to Greater Happiness. It's FREE. Sign up at www.unstoppablelife.com
move in cleaning service Mundelein ..If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
What would it be like to have a clone? What... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
insured cleaning company Highland Park ..Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children,... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
Parenting |