More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.
What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need. Deborah Weinstock-Savoy, Ph.D.,a psychologist who specializes in working with families says "The basic nurturing that parents offer in providing a loving and comfortable home is the first line of defense."
Weinstock-Savoy points out that home should be a place where kids can re-charge their batteries, feel safe and supported. When teenagers have the support they need, when they eat right and get enough sleep, they usually have much of what it takes to manage the stress they will confront.
Parents can help teens in some specific ways, too. Primarily this has to do with teaching, or coaching their teenagers toward problem solving. Parents need to "engage the teen's owns sense of what s/he needs," says Weinstock-Savoy. She says parents and their teenagers can explore this together, with the teen being asked to offer insight and suggestions, as usually kids have ideas about this. This is the direction parents need to take because it helps the teen develop necessary coping and problem-solving skills.
Assisting kids in becoming more self-aware is an extension of this thought. It may not be immediately obvious to kids, so parents should help guide them to a growing awareness of themselves, which will help them learn to identify situations, and solutions. Through this they begin to develop strategies that will be tools they will use for the rest of their lives.
While this family specialist makes these recommendations, she is quick to admit that sometimes parents are faced with "kids who won't allow them to share their wisdom with them." This makes it important for parents to help ensure their teenager has other adults in whom s/he can confide and go to for advice. "Parents need to identify for themselves who else is out there, who else will help provide advice, help their teens safe, and offer support." She calls this "extending the mantle of support," and points out that this is as important for parents as it is for kids. Parents should know the adults in their teens life to some extent; knowing that they share your families values and will be providing sound advice is another way of providing support for your child, only this time it's from behind the scenes.
What are the biggest sources of stress for teenagers? "Peer relationships and managing school," according to Weinstock-Savoy. She points out that kids need to have a sense of belonging with their peers. This provides an important buffer and helps them deal with the stress they confront. Missing this, the resulting sense of loneliness serves to increases their stress. School, and all that entails, is often a source of stress for teenagers. And thirdly, the important developmental steps they are taking during adolescence in developing their identity also create stress. Although this is a more abstract concept, it is an important part of the life of teenagers.
Parents who are tuned in to their teenagers, sensitive in providing support, encouragement, love and a nurturing home environment are doing all the right things to help their kids learn to deal with the stress they confront in typical situations every day.
? 2004 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years. As a communications professional and the parent of two teenagers, she speaks frequently to parents and schools about parenting issues, improving communications and creating parent discussion groups. Visit our website at http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com
recurring housekeeping Northbrook ...Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
apartment cleaning near Park Ridge ...I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More
One of the questions I ask in parenting presentations is... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
Parenting |