Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and has played an instrument and/or played in band all her life. Now all of a sudden she wants to quit lessons and quit band. Is this normal or a warning sign of something bad? Should we let her quit?

A. There are times when wanting to drop something that has been a big part of your life can indicate a problem in need of immediate attention. If there are any other signs that your daughter might be depressed or using drugs, then you will want to get her two appointments - one with her doctor and one with a family counselor who works with teenagers.

If she's not depressed and/or doing drugs, then dropping an instrument and band may be a decision that she is ready to make. Certainly she is old enough to make that decision, and she may have simply lost interest.

How to End Gracefully

You can tell her that if dropping the instrument and band is something she wants to do, there are two things she needs to do first.

The first is have her write a letter of thanks to the person who taught her the instrument and to the band director, thanking each for their time and effort and sharing what she has learned.

I suggest this for two reasons: It's simply a classy thing to do, and it may re-awaken in her the reasons she got involved in the band.

The second is to tell her she can quit band only after she finds something else to be involved in. It's quite fine to want to quit something, but at her age, it needs to be replaced with something else. This is because one of the strongest needs of kids and teens is to have a sense of belonging. This need is so strong that a teen will get it met some how, either in a positive place or a negative place.

By requiring that she find something else to be a part of, you are helping to make sure she finds a positive place to belong.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his f'ree weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."

licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..

In The News:

Scammers create fake Evite invitations that mimic legitimate event emails, requiring users to verify senders and use antivirus software for protection.

The new Apple Watch hypertension feature passively monitors blood pressure patterns over 30 days using sensors to detect chronic high blood pressure signs.

Chrome extension spyware disguised as a free VPN service highlights security risks after it captured private browsing data from trusted sites.

New research shows how fatty acids in cooking oil can safely dissolve and recover silver from circuit boards without harmful chemicals or environmental damage.

The Fox News AI newsletter gives you information on the latest AI technology advancements, and about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Anthropic investigates alarming AI abuse case where hacker automated entire cybercrime campaign using Claude, stealing sensitive data from defense and healthcare firms.

TikTok, Meta and YouTube restrict Charlie Kirk shooting videos with age gates and warnings while X faces criticism for allowing continued circulation.

Cybercriminals use fake troubleshooting websites to trick Mac users into running terminal commands that install Shamos malware through ClickFix tactics.

San Francisco startup Fable launches Showrunner, an AI platform dubbed the 'Netflix of AI' that generates animated episodes from text descriptions with Amazon support.

Apple raised iPhone prices for some models despite receiving tariff relief from President Donald Trump, with the new lineup starting at $799 for the base model.

A two-story 3D concrete printed home in Western Australia demonstrates faster construction methods that could reshape American housing amid rising costs.

Credit scores remain important during retirement for insurance rates and housing applications, while seniors become prime targets for identity theft and financial scams.

Scammers now send unexpected packages with QR codes that redirect victims to fraudulent websites or download malicious software to steal sensitive information.

Meeting AI tools record private conversations alongside work discussions, creating privacy risks that can be managed with proper settings and awareness.

Hotel privacy concerns are valid but rare, with methods to detect hidden tech using smartphone flashlights, mirror tests and scanning apps.

Improve your Wi-Fi speed and reliability with 10 simple router optimization tips that don't require special apps or expensive subscriptions.

A Columbia University breach exposed names, Social Security numbers and academic records of nearly 869,000 people, with notifications beginning in August.

Rental car drivers use AI-powered apps like Proofr to protect themselves from unfair damage fees as major companies deploy automated inspection tools.

Fox News' AI newsletter brings you the latest on technology advancements around artificial intelligence.

OnTrac data breach between April 13-15, 2025, exposed personal information of over 40,000 people including Social Security numbers and medical records.

A woman named Wika announces her engagement to an AI chatbot sparking worldwide debate about virtual relationships and technology.

The notorious people search site National Public Data relaunches despite a previous breach affecting 3 billion individuals, raising fresh privacy concerns.

Revolutionary TRAUMAGEL gel controls life-threatening bleeding from gunshot wounds and traumatic injuries, helping first responders prevent prehospital deaths.

Protect your home network by enabling proper encryption, creating strong passwords, checking connected devices and using VPN and antivirus software.

The Navy's solar-powered Skydweller drone flew nonstop for 73 hours in Mississippi, proving renewable energy can power long-endurance military missions.