Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: How to Respond to Manipulation

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Respond to Manipulation

Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us, and sometimes we do not even know it has happened until much later. How can we tell if we are being manipulated, and how can we stop it, or at least handle it better?

A. Here's the thing about teens and manipulation:

The average 15-year-old is 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5 all at the same time.

What this means is they combine the verbal ability and "wisdom" of the 15-going-on-25-year-old with the "I want what I want when I want it which is NOW! and I will make you pay if you say no" of the 15-going-on-5-year-old and come up with some very powerful manipulation.

For now, all you need to know is that if you think you are being manipulated, you probably are, and not only that, you probably already have been.

Trust your "parenting gut." If you get an uneasy feeling about what is happening, that can be an indication that manipulation is going on.

Some other ways to tell if teens are manipulating:

=>Behavior does not match words

=>Stories either don't match what you know, keep changing, just don't make sense, or some combination of these three indicators.

Here are some things you can do:

One of the very best defenses against manipulation is to let your "yes" mean "yes" and let your "no" mean "no."

If you say no at first, and your teen keeps asking you and asking you over and over, and then you give in and say yes, you have taught them that your no does not mean no.

What makes it even worse is that you have taught them that no really means

"I just haven't bugged my parent enough to get to yes."

And each and every teen I have ever known is more than up to that challenge.

Another way to look at this is a concept I call "Concrete Parenting."

Have you ever walked through a concrete wall?

Of course not.

But what if one day you slipped and fell into a concrete wall and went through without any harm?

Human nature would say that you would be much more likely to try it again.

It's the same way with parenting. If kids get it that trying to bug and manipulate you is like running into a concrete wall, eventually they are going to get tired of getting their head all bloody and stop.

Let me make two predictions about what will happen as you try to change your responses to your daughter's manipulation.

Prediction One: It won't work. At least not at first. This is because for a while now, your daughter has had it made. She is not going to welcome any changes that you are making. She will try to get you to change back. So you have to resolve to keep at it, no matter the resistance you get.

Hang in there, it's worth it, for both of you.

Prediction Two: For a while, you will still get manipulated. It will go something like this:

First, you will not realize you have been manipulated until after it has already happened.

Next, you will begin to notice it while it is happening, and be able to take corrective action.

Then finally, you will see it coming, and be able to cut it off before it gets going.

Visit parentingyourteenager.com to subscribe to leading Parenting Coach Jeff Herring's f'ree internet newsletter "Parenting Your Teenager" and the f'ree 5 day e-program on the "5 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teenager."

licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..

In The News:

Scammers create fake Evite invitations that mimic legitimate event emails, requiring users to verify senders and use antivirus software for protection.

The new Apple Watch hypertension feature passively monitors blood pressure patterns over 30 days using sensors to detect chronic high blood pressure signs.

Chrome extension spyware disguised as a free VPN service highlights security risks after it captured private browsing data from trusted sites.

New research shows how fatty acids in cooking oil can safely dissolve and recover silver from circuit boards without harmful chemicals or environmental damage.

The Fox News AI newsletter gives you information on the latest AI technology advancements, and about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Anthropic investigates alarming AI abuse case where hacker automated entire cybercrime campaign using Claude, stealing sensitive data from defense and healthcare firms.

TikTok, Meta and YouTube restrict Charlie Kirk shooting videos with age gates and warnings while X faces criticism for allowing continued circulation.

Cybercriminals use fake troubleshooting websites to trick Mac users into running terminal commands that install Shamos malware through ClickFix tactics.

San Francisco startup Fable launches Showrunner, an AI platform dubbed the 'Netflix of AI' that generates animated episodes from text descriptions with Amazon support.

Apple raised iPhone prices for some models despite receiving tariff relief from President Donald Trump, with the new lineup starting at $799 for the base model.

A two-story 3D concrete printed home in Western Australia demonstrates faster construction methods that could reshape American housing amid rising costs.

Credit scores remain important during retirement for insurance rates and housing applications, while seniors become prime targets for identity theft and financial scams.

Scammers now send unexpected packages with QR codes that redirect victims to fraudulent websites or download malicious software to steal sensitive information.

Meeting AI tools record private conversations alongside work discussions, creating privacy risks that can be managed with proper settings and awareness.

Hotel privacy concerns are valid but rare, with methods to detect hidden tech using smartphone flashlights, mirror tests and scanning apps.

Improve your Wi-Fi speed and reliability with 10 simple router optimization tips that don't require special apps or expensive subscriptions.

A Columbia University breach exposed names, Social Security numbers and academic records of nearly 869,000 people, with notifications beginning in August.

Rental car drivers use AI-powered apps like Proofr to protect themselves from unfair damage fees as major companies deploy automated inspection tools.

Fox News' AI newsletter brings you the latest on technology advancements around artificial intelligence.

OnTrac data breach between April 13-15, 2025, exposed personal information of over 40,000 people including Social Security numbers and medical records.

A woman named Wika announces her engagement to an AI chatbot sparking worldwide debate about virtual relationships and technology.

The notorious people search site National Public Data relaunches despite a previous breach affecting 3 billion individuals, raising fresh privacy concerns.

Revolutionary TRAUMAGEL gel controls life-threatening bleeding from gunshot wounds and traumatic injuries, helping first responders prevent prehospital deaths.

Protect your home network by enabling proper encryption, creating strong passwords, checking connected devices and using VPN and antivirus software.

The Navy's solar-powered Skydweller drone flew nonstop for 73 hours in Mississippi, proving renewable energy can power long-endurance military missions.