MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.
REALITY: Teens do have to separate from their parents and families. That's good - otherwise kids would be living at home when they are 35.
They do, however, have to earn the privilege of being in charge.
MYTH: Once teens rebel, you have lost them forever.
REALITY: This is the fear of every parent, but it doesn't happen in most cases. As the proverb says, "Raise up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it."
Two very important factors are implied here:
1) At some point, it is likely they could "depart" from what you have taught, and
2) they will come back to it.
This notion is elaborated on in Miller Newton's book "Adolescence: Surviving the Perilous Journey." Miller calls this notion Withdrawal - Isolation - Re-emergence. His view is that all adolescents withdraw, and some will go so far as to isolate themselves. They will, however, re-emerge at some point. Part of the parents' job then is to maintain the connection so a relationship can exist when they re-emerge.
MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right.
REALITY: If you listen to some so-called parenting experts, raising kids - even teens - is a walk in the park.
According to them, the only reason you are having difficulty is because you are doing it wrong (not like them, in other words).
The reality is that parenting is a labor-intensive task. In order to raise kids and teach moral character, you have to go against the prevailing culture.
MYTH: Your teen years were just like those of your teen-ager.
REALITY: Many of the character issues they are dealing with are very much like the ones you faced. But the world, atmosphere and culture in which they are dealing with these issues is incredibly different. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's all the same.
Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."
licensed cleaning services Mundelein ..While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
licensed cleaning services Buffalo Grove ..In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Parenting |