Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.

I'd been interested in gliding, or soaring as it's known in the USA, for some time - and now the big day had arrived.

As I approached the airfield the words of some 'friends' came back to haunt me. 'Going up in a sailplane without an engine? You must be mad! How these things stay up there in empty space is beyond me!'

After a lesson or two on the principles of flight, it was time to take to the air. And I needn't have worried about 'empty space' . . .

If ever there was a case of things not being as they seemed, this was it.

Empty space? You must be joking!

Five minutes in a glider (or sailplane) teaches you that it's anything but 'empty space' up there.

I was amazed at the buffeting and whipping of the air currents and the sheer power of the thermals as they pushed the plane upward, like a giant hand from below.

The question soon changed from 'How are we going to stay up?' to 'How on earth are we going to get down?'

But it's all about manipulation of the control surfaces on the plane, and soon we glided to a smooth and safe landing.

Often in life, perhaps even more so in parenting, things are not as they seem.

Here's a common scenario. A parent has been reading up on positive thinking, self-development, parenting skills or such like.

They feel good and are dutifully putting everything into practice.

Then out of the blue - WHUMP! There's a major confrontation with one of our teens that leaves us drained, bedraggled and crawling off in search of a corner where we can lick our emotional wounds.

The steely glint of failure mocks our efforts.

But wait! All is not as it seems . . .

In recent years we've come to realise that every situation has potential for good AND bad. Some call it the Law Of Opposites.

Let's illustrate it with another example. Say you make a sacrifice and give money to the poor.

That's good. It helps them get on their feet, and generosity is good for your personal development.

So what could possibly be 'bad' in that situation?

It's POSSIBLE that giving so 'generously' could make you feel smug and 'superior'. It could lead to a 'Holier than thou!' attitude. And the receiver could eventually become dependent on hand-outs from others.

Not good!

So let's get back to that volcanic blow-up with our teens!

No possibility for good there? Think again.

Lick the wounds by all means, but rest assured that every situation has a lesson for us.

All we have to do is open ourselves to the possibility.

So when we retreat, let's ask ourselves some questions and be brutally honest in our appraisal:

* In that situation did I keep my cool?
* Was I positive in my attitude?
* What kind of language did I use?
* Did I come over as patronizing, sarcastic, impatient, intolerant, 'superior', huffy?
* Or was I supportive, patient, tolerant, mature, assertive, helpful, confident?
* Was my approach reasonable or in some way self-serving?

In short, was I modelling the type of behaviour I would want them to adopt?

If the answer is yes, then you can feel strong and confident, knowing that any sanctions you apply are just and reasonable.

If the answer is no, what can you learn from this?

Use this opportunity to strengthen and develop yourself, and prepare to handle it better next time.

In your path toward parenting progress, then, all may not be as it seems.

Apparent failures - especially when we thought we were making it! - can be opportunities to take our progress to the next level.

Remember the people who couldn't understand how a glider stayed in the air without an engine? Just because they couldn't SEE the ridges of air pressure or the thermals which push the plane upward, doesn't mean they weren't there.

In the same way, situations that may APPEAR to bring us down can in fact be the very 'thermals' (which are hot air!) to push us upward to the next level - if we let them.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages: http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..

In The News:

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.