Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!
Are you often a participant in an unraveling parent-child interaction? Well you're not alone. Interactions between parents and their children often transgress before our eyes.
All children's first years should be filled with verbal stimulation to build language and literacy skills. Each day should be full of discovery and offer opportunities to gain new skills and learn new concepts. Talking to your children openly and honestly and encouraging verbal interaction is a critical component of healthy and successful development. Sometimes, though, a parent-child interaction spins quickly out of control and leaves the parent wondering "What happened? I thought I had this under control?"
All too often the origin of the conflict is established by the use of one simple word: "Maybe." This one uncomplicated morsel of verbiage has the power to evoke quite a forceful reaction at times. "Why?" you may question. The answer is as absolute as your response should be to your child: You just don't use the "maybe" word.
Raising a child is probably the most gratifying job any of us will ever have -- and one of the toughest. We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us every day with a wide range of issues that are difficult for children to understand and for adults to explain. The issues are biggies: terrorism, war, AIDs, sex, death, and a host of other sensitive topics that just didn't exist when we were growing up.
It's not always easy to talk to your kids-but it's always important. Consider this: if we don't talk with them -- and answer their questions -- they'll get their facts from someone else. And we'll have missed an important parenting opportunity.
When responding to questions posed by your child, whether it's a question about the tough issues or a question about attending a sleep over or eating a cookie before dinner, clarity is the name of the game. If a child asks a question, the very least we can do is answer it, and answer it precisely. The amount of uncertainty produced by "maybe" is very often the catalyst for the conflict.
Here are some essentials to assist you in becoming more accomplished in talking to your child:
- Always respond to your child
- Strive to understand your own feelings regarding their request or question
- Reply with a definite yes or no
- Clarify your reasoning
- Offer them the methods and/or means to achieve their request
- Be conscious of their reaction(s), anxiety usually precedes the outburst
Remember: We all, young and not so young alike, find relief in knowing where we stand.
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com
best cleaning company Highland Park ..My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More
Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Parenting |