One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting.
In addition, this bond is essential for the child's emotional stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to the work environment and new social situations.
How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child the love and affection that he needs.
Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own children are suffering from the lack of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill. However, the truth is that many of our children who come from good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who provide for the child's physical needs with as little warmth and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are the ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical needs for contact.
The United States is one of the richest countries in the history of the world. Yet, our children in general are touch starved. We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our children in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under the burden of so much physical and emotional stress, that we are often just glad to make it through the day without hitting or screaming at our children. Who has time to give them affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most from us. We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but it is us that they really need.
There is much talk about the generation gap. We all know that adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes we look at our little children and wonder what is going to be in ten years when this cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one of the children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going to do worse? What is going to be?
You need to take the time now, and give your child the physical warmth and love that your child needs. If you build strong bonds of love with your child now, while he is still young, then all these problems that you read about, will be just that; things that you read about. You will not experience these problems in your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship with you child.
About The Author
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html), and education.
You may visit his website at addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html
addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html
green cleaning service Park Ridge ..Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
cleaning help near Bannockburn ..As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Parenting |