It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old Stephanie is shopping with you at Wal-Mart and picks out three stuffed animals that she saw in the movie Madagascar. "Oh Mom please! I want to bring Alex and Gloria and Melman to Kinder Gym with me!" she says and stomps off in disgust when you tell her she has to choose only one.
Your eight-year old, Alex, comes home from Summer Day Camp. "I need an iPod!" he declares, "Thomas has one and it's sweet!" Your first thought is, "What's an iPod?" Once Alex fills you in on the latest must-have gadget, you're floored by the ticket price and wonder why he needs one when he already has a walkman.
To top it off, your ten-year old, Tabitha, woke up this morning with a singular mission; to have pierced ears with diamond studs like her new best-friend Sarah by the end of the day, when last week she thought body piercings of any kind were gross. She has spent the entire day begging you to bring her to the Salon to get them pierced, ate her dinner in silence and retreated to her room to call Sarah and complain about how unfair her parents are.
You finish the day exhausted by the challenges of managing "gimme" requests from your children. Sitting down with your partner after the kids have been put to bed, you share your concerns about the day's events. You're both left wondering how your children became so materialistic, and worried that they are becoming followers rather than children who are secure in themselves and their values. A change is needed! But where to begin?
During the grade-school years, children grow more interested in the material world than they were back in kindergarten. Motivated by a combination of an increasing awareness of what other kids have and the desire to fit in by having the same things themselves, their acquisitiveness begins to become more apparent.
A child's age-appropriate progression from self-awareness to awareness of others is compounded by the society in which we live. We live in an age of affluence, at times one obsessed with status and possession. Evidenced by TV and other forms of media. One message is coming through loud and clear: You are what you buy and what you own. There's no doubt that it has become increasingly difficult to raise children in this world of materialism, distraction and temptation.
You can help keep your child's materialism in check by following these simple steps:
1) Back to Basics: Try to bring your parenting back to a basic level. No need to respond to the distractions that at times seem out of range on many levels and maybe out of your comfort zone.
2) Self-Awareness: Working along with your parenting partner, ensure agreed-upon family values, as well as the structures that support your beliefs.
3) Explore: Remember that the need your child may have for all these newest gadgets possibly camouflages a deeper problem.
4) Communicate: Discuss with your child the concept of earning, as well as alternative to their request. A less costly option may meet the need.
5) Don't fulfill every request: Children who get everything they ask for don't learn to handle disappointment, and they don't learn to work for the things they desire, or delay the need for gratification.
6) Spend time rather than money on your kids: It's not easy in our hectic lives to give children the time and attention they crave, but that's the best way to ward off the "gimmes."
Remember: No matter what your child says, he/she wants - and needs - a secure sense of family more than a roomful of possessions. There may be times when it's appropriate to fulfill a request and times when it's best to say no. You know your child best: listen, learn, teach and communicate in a respectful manner and do your best to focus your children on the lessons of giving as well as receiving.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
How often do you think of family life as an... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
Parenting |