Home
>
Parenting
>
Getting Through to Your Teenager

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?

Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake. It makes you question your own gene pool.

In actuality, the problem isn't with the teenager (at least not all of it), the problem is in our approach to teaching our teenager the lesson we want them to learn. In a sense, we act just as crazy sometimes; we teach them using the same strategies that didn't work a month or year ago. We should be asking ourselves, when will we learn from our past mistakes?

Here's a better approach that I've experimented with few times with my own students. It's a modified version of the Socratic method. You simply lead your teenager to a predetermined answer that they come up with on their own. That's it. I know it sounds easy, but it takes quite a bit of practice. Allow me to demonstrate.

A parent of one of my students confided in me that her son was hanging around a dangerous group of boys in the neighborhood. She believed his friends were possibly into drugs, gang violence, and other criminal activity. With no father figure in the home, she thought maybe I could "get through" to him.

I asked her, "What have you said to him?" She replied, "I've told him at least a hundred times that his friends are up to no good, and they're going to eventually get him into trouble and jeopardize his future." She continued, as she cried, "I told him that I made the same mistake when I was his age, and he didn't want to go through the pain I did. I just can't get him to listen."

A lot of us can relate to this mother's frustration. We want so much for our children to avoid the mistakes we made. We can't understand why they can't understand our concern, and we become frustrated and sometimes even angry.

Well, I agreed to meet with her son after class. But I decided to use a different approach. I figured the old approach wasn't working, so what did I have to lose? After a little small talk, I simply asked a couple of simple questions, "Who are your three closest friends?" After he gave their names (all part of the group his mom disliked), I asked him a second question, "If you died tonight, and you had children, would you want any of those friends raising your son or daughter?"

After an extremely long pause, I let him off the hook by saying, "You don't have to give me the answer, but I do want you to ask yourself another question. If you wouldn't let them raise your children in the future, then why are spending most of your time with them today?" That was the end of our discussion.

This little episode may or may not have put him on the right track, but it did one thing his mother was unable to do ? get through to him. He now had to make his own decision based on his own reality, not his mother or his teacher ? and then accept responsibility for the consequences of that decision.

And that's all you can really do for teenagers?get them to think for themselves. If you did a good job teaching your children in the early years, the growing process (including the mistakes) is a lot easier to accept.

The key to getting through to your teenager is to say less, and ask more in order to get them to do more thinking. The more you say, the less they'll think. And the less they think, the more mistakes they're inclined to make. So, take your own advice, learn from your past mistakes by adopting a new approach.

Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today!

green cleaning service Park Ridge ..

In The News:

Your home address is easily accessible on people finder sites, putting you at risk for stalking and identity theft, but data removal services can help protect your personal information.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Robot combat evolves at Unitree's Iron Fist King event as G1 robots face off in China, featuring knockouts, precise strikes and agile machines that can perform side flips.

Take control of your digital privacy with actionable tips like Facebook privacy checkup, location tracking management and data removal services to protect your personal information.

Smart TVs and streaming devices manufactured in China are being compromised by BadBox 2.0 malware before users even power them on; infections have been detected in 222 countries.

The lightweight, 15-pound Tenniix tennis robot mimics pro playing styles like Nadal and Federer, using AI trained on 8,000 hours of professional tennis data.

Oak Ridge's uranium enrichment facility supports America's AI ambitions amid concerns that China's aggressive nuclear reactor construction could give it an edge in powering data centers.

Facebook scam ads now leverage AI and deepfakes to create convincing celebrity endorsements, targeting specific demographics with sophisticated schemes.

Apple unveils iOS 26, macOS 26 Tahoe and iPadOS 26 with translucent Liquid Glass design at WWDC 2025, featuring ChatGPT integration as competitors advance rapidly.

The Atom Touch prosthetic arm combines an AI neural interface with EMG sensors, allowing amputees to control individual fingers with precision at an affordable $25,000.

Aspen officials aim to have crews on the scene within five minutes — something they say would be nearly impossible without precise location data the AI technology gives.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says iPads are usually secure, but hackers can access them. Spot warning signs early to protect your data.

Tech expert Kurt Knutsson reveals how to easily move photos and videos off your iPhone or Android to securely protect your favorite moments.

The Social Security Administration is launching digital SSN access this summer. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to use it and protect your identity.

Glide underwater with CudaJet and make the ocean your playground. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses the redesigned tech that might be your next big thrilling adventure.

Protect yourself from login alert scams with five security steps, including avoiding suspicious links, checking account activity and enabling two-factor authentication

Skip the usual Father's Day gifts with personalized ideas for tech enthusiasts, home brewers, pool owners, seniors, outdoor lovers and privacy-conscious dads.

DMV text scam alert: Fraudsters impersonating motor vehicle departments nationwide are sending threatening messages about unpaid tickets and tolls to steal your information.

Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.

E-BAR, MIT's mobile robot, provides physical support for seniors with handlebars that follow from behind, helping prevent falls while maintaining dignity for aging adults.

AI is changing everything – now, we can even use it to generate video. I tried OpenAI's Sora and Google's Veo – here's how they measure up against each other.

Five simple phone setting tweaks that make your device work harder for you, from automatic text message deletion to scheduled focus modes.

Android users can save time with 10 simple automations, including automatic battery saver mode, location-based Wi-Fi settings and scheduled "Do Not Disturb" mode.

Personal information from 364,000 people was compromised in a LexisNexis data breach that went undetected for months, highlighting privacy risks.

The Phantom 3500 jet features a windowless design that reduces drag and structural weak points, burning 50% less fuel than conventional business jets.

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Parenting