Home
>
Parenting
>
Getting Through to Your Teenager

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?

Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake. It makes you question your own gene pool.

In actuality, the problem isn't with the teenager (at least not all of it), the problem is in our approach to teaching our teenager the lesson we want them to learn. In a sense, we act just as crazy sometimes; we teach them using the same strategies that didn't work a month or year ago. We should be asking ourselves, when will we learn from our past mistakes?

Here's a better approach that I've experimented with few times with my own students. It's a modified version of the Socratic method. You simply lead your teenager to a predetermined answer that they come up with on their own. That's it. I know it sounds easy, but it takes quite a bit of practice. Allow me to demonstrate.

A parent of one of my students confided in me that her son was hanging around a dangerous group of boys in the neighborhood. She believed his friends were possibly into drugs, gang violence, and other criminal activity. With no father figure in the home, she thought maybe I could "get through" to him.

I asked her, "What have you said to him?" She replied, "I've told him at least a hundred times that his friends are up to no good, and they're going to eventually get him into trouble and jeopardize his future." She continued, as she cried, "I told him that I made the same mistake when I was his age, and he didn't want to go through the pain I did. I just can't get him to listen."

A lot of us can relate to this mother's frustration. We want so much for our children to avoid the mistakes we made. We can't understand why they can't understand our concern, and we become frustrated and sometimes even angry.

Well, I agreed to meet with her son after class. But I decided to use a different approach. I figured the old approach wasn't working, so what did I have to lose? After a little small talk, I simply asked a couple of simple questions, "Who are your three closest friends?" After he gave their names (all part of the group his mom disliked), I asked him a second question, "If you died tonight, and you had children, would you want any of those friends raising your son or daughter?"

After an extremely long pause, I let him off the hook by saying, "You don't have to give me the answer, but I do want you to ask yourself another question. If you wouldn't let them raise your children in the future, then why are spending most of your time with them today?" That was the end of our discussion.

This little episode may or may not have put him on the right track, but it did one thing his mother was unable to do ? get through to him. He now had to make his own decision based on his own reality, not his mother or his teacher ? and then accept responsibility for the consequences of that decision.

And that's all you can really do for teenagers?get them to think for themselves. If you did a good job teaching your children in the early years, the growing process (including the mistakes) is a lot easier to accept.

The key to getting through to your teenager is to say less, and ask more in order to get them to do more thinking. The more you say, the less they'll think. And the less they think, the more mistakes they're inclined to make. So, take your own advice, learn from your past mistakes by adopting a new approach.

Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today!

experienced cleaning professionals Northbrook ..

In The News:

Cybersecurity experts warn about one of the largest credential compilations ever found, urging users to check "Have I Been Pwned" and change passwords immediately.

Quick iPhone and Android battery optimization techniques help your device stay powered all day by turning off hidden features that secretly drain power in the background.

Kodiak Driver autonomous truck achieves perfect 98 safety score, matching top human fleets in groundbreaking AI evaluation by Nauto's VERA system.

New 401k catch-up contribution rules in 2026 will change taxes for high earners over 50. Learn how scammers exploit these changes and protect your retirement savings.

Kurt Knutsson's guide covers social media privacy protection through location settings, account privacy controls and two-factor authentication to prevent scams and data breaches.

Revolutionary retinal implant restores central vision in 80% of patients with advanced macular degeneration, offering hope where treatments once only slowed blindness.

Learn how to use passkeys on Windows and Mac computers without cameras or fingerprint readers. Discover secure authentication methods that replace passwords.

Tesla's FSD v14.1.2 update reintroduces Mad Max mode, enabling higher speeds and more frequent lane changes than the standard Hurry profile setting.

A phishing email scam targeting American Express customers shows how cybercriminals use fake urgent messages to steal personal and financial information.

Facebook's new Meta AI feature analyzes your camera roll photos to create polished collages automatically, but requires cloud processing and raises privacy concerns.

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Cleafy researchers discover fake VPN streaming app Mobdro Pro that installs Klopatra banking Trojan, giving attackers full control over Android devices.

Police departments across the U.S. and Canada are adopting virtual reality training to better prepare officers for high-pressure, real-world situations.

House Bill 469 would prevent AI systems from owning property, serving as executives, or gaining legal personhood in Ohio under Representative Thaddeus Claggett's proposal.

Public voter records expose retirees' personal details to election scammers who create targeted cons using names, addresses, and voting history data.

Instead of fearing what comes next with artificial intelligence, think outside the box. Here are high-earning AI jobs that don't require a computer science degree.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says polite words like "please" and "thank you" cost millions annually, while direct prompts may improve ChatGPT accuracy by several points.

Chattee Chat and GiMe Chat exposed intimate conversations and photos, revealing users spent up to $18,000 on AI companions before the breach.

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Parenting