Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.
Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force the other to change and stop being different.
The matter of disciplining children can be the source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed the other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.
To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve the differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt the approach as listed below:
1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on the children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and the divorce structure of the family.
2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.
3. Discuss with your former spouse your preferences for discipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistency across households.
4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency across households, make an agreement with your former spouse that whatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will be consistently using the same when the children are with you.
5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they are workable.
6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with and stick by it.
7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explain to the children that there are certain rules at mom's house and certain rules at dad's house.
8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreements in discipline approaches.
Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Get resolve your differences in matters of children's discipline. Support each other.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.
About The Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; http://www.101divorceparenting.com
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Parenting |