Home
>
Parenting
>
Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure how to handle things with our teen-ager. Last year turned into such a battle, and we fear another year just like last year. Is there anything we can do to help make this a successful year?

A. The short answer is yes, there are many things you can do to make this a better school year, not just for your teen, but for the whole family as well.

The long answer is that I think you have asked a very interesting and important question. Many of the families I work with struggle a great deal over the issue of school.

In my experience, this power struggle seems to be caused by a fundamental difference between parents and kids in their perception of the purpose of school. Here's how I believe it works:

For parents, the perception is, ``We work all day; the kids don't. School is their job. Therefore, they should get good grades, just as we want to do well at our jobs.'

The teen-agers' perception is quite different, however. In their view, school is rarely more than their social world, interrupted by six or seven classes a day.

As in most power struggles, each point of view has at least some validity. School really is the job of teen-agers, and they need to be in charge of themselves in this area. At the same time, school really is their social world. It's where they see most of their friends, and it's where they do a great deal of their interacting with peers.

Having said all that, let's take a look at just what are the jobs of parents and teen-agers.

The Parent's Job

1) To create an environment at home that encourages a love of learning.

How often do your children see you reading? Hear you talking about something you have learned? Do you discuss ideas and issues with them? While these are things to start with your child on day one, you can still implement them in your home now.

2) This one is so simple yet so profound.

Ask them their opinions on important issues of the day. You may be surprised to find out what kind of brains they have in there.

3) Make sure there is nothing blocking your teen-ager from learning.

Examples of blocks are learning and information-processing disorders, and attention-deficit disorder. Many teen-agers I work with who have difficulty at school have undiagnosed ADD.

Another block to learning can be the use of alcohol or drugs. Part of the process of drug abuse is that kids begin to lose interest in things that were once very important to them. If they are drunk or high at school, not only do they not want to learn, they can't.

4) Know the names and philosophies of the following people who influence your child's life:

the principal, assistant principals, the guidance counselor and, most especially, the teachers.

5) Once you have done all this, simply put the teen-agers in charge of school.

What I mean is, make them responsible for their performance at school. Doing so may be difficult; this may be one of those situations in which things get worse before they get better.

THE Student's Job

1) To be in charge of themselves about school.

They are the ones who get the grades. Parents don't get the grades, they do. One of the things I work on with teen-agers is to help them them understand that if they really want their parents off their backs, they will handle school well. When they don't, it's an open invitation to the parents to step in and take over.

2) Show up.

That means going to school and then going to class. And one of the worst things about skipping is that it is incredibly addictive.

3) Find something in school to ``burn for.'

Once you are really interested in something, learning becomes a lot more fun. Wanting your children to excel in school is natural and a good thing. But there comes a time when the ball is simply in their court, and it's up to them. I think the most important thing for parents to remember is that school needs to be more important to them than it is to you.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

best cleaning company Highland Park ..

In The News:

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Parenting