Drug testing

Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?

Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is.

People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood.

And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains.

Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum

There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old.

Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life

"I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago"

People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind, their influence does not leave you.

Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered.

Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth.

A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better.

Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away

People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders.

These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware.

What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it.

This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive.

Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.

Rational Justifications Do NOT Penetrate the Subconscious Mind

Many well-intentioned people and spiritual mentors will agree that while injurious things may have been said and done, we should be mature or evolved enough to understand that our caretakers were doing the best they could.

After all, they didn't mean to hurt us with their harshness or neglect. Why don't we just rise above it and move on? Surely we are noble and generous-hearted enough to forgive them, yes?

Well, no, actually. And for two very important reasons.

First, this is an attempt to reason things out consciously. It is a fruitless activity, because it does nothing to reach and alter the core beliefs and distress that are stuffed down BEYOND conscious access.

And second, the person whose body and/or emotions were assailed was NOT an adult capable of reasoning things out so rationally. The early distress lives on unabated.

We Cannot Live With the Results

We may be able to carry on, but we cannot really live and flourish while those negative core beliefs remain frozen in time. The tragedy for so many of us is that they remain lodged firmly in place today, without our consent and without our conscious awareness.

Down With the Taboo Against Knowing Who We Are

Rather than continue to justify our ignorance, we must dare to bring the unconscious to conscious light. There are compelling reasons for doing so.

? To heal a mutilated sense of self-worth.
? To process our present moments through fresh eyes.
? To avoid becoming subtly mean, cruel or sarcastic.
? To prevent ourselves from unwittingly passing on our damage.

And finally, and perhaps most compelling of all, if traditional morality continues to deny us knowledge of ourselves and our history, our bodies will end up speaking for us. And this it will do by erupting into disease. Witness the alarming number of people who suffer from depression today.

Our psychological and emotional disturbances must eventually surface as some type of physical or mental malady. Or as I heard somewhere along the way, "If your mouth won't say it straight, your body will say it crooked."

And according to the title of Dr. Alice Miller's most recent book on the victimization of children, The Body Never Lies. Time spent digesting any of Dr. Miller's books is time well spent, indeed.

The greatest healing contribution any of us can make to world is to heal our own wounds, not hide from them or deny them or justify them. After all, we do want to live and not just survive, don't we?

Rosella Aranda is the author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to raising your sense of personal worth and getting rid of self-defeating behaviors.

Free Mini-Course at http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/

In The News:

An invasive tick species, new to the U.S., has already popped up in nine states, and a new study suggests that the species could spread much further.
Archaeologists in Egypt uncovered the final resting place of a high priest that dates back more than four thousand years ago. 
2018 has been a busy year for space exploration. Here are some of the highlights.
A new kind of giant dinosaur has been described in Russia. Dubbed Volgatitan, the herbivore belonged to a family of long-necked dinosaurs called sauropods. It weighed 17 tons and walked the earth 200 million to 65 million years ago.
Just in time before you send your list to Santa, miners in the far reaches of Canada announced that they found a rough 552-carat yellow diamond, which is the largest diamond ever discovered in North America and the seventh-largest diamond ever found.
Images revealed during NASA's Juno mission have captivated the internet.
An extremely rare U.S. currency note from the late 19th century is expected to sell for up to $3 million when it is auctioned next year.
It's now beyond official: Greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide, pose a danger to public health and welfare, according to an exhaustive review that looked at 275 scientific studies published over the past nine years.
An Indiana officer got a stunning view of the Geminid meteor shower — known as one of the best meteor shows of the year — from his patrol car late Wednesday.
The shape of your brain may say a lot about the Neanderthal in you.

Train Your Brain, Or Cook Your Goose!

One day while in deep meditation and self analysis, a... Read More

Penury Perpetuates Poverty

So...you might just believe I hide behind computers creating and... Read More

Thinking About Attitude

Attitude, has a way of preening itself, often without awareness... Read More

Self-Recovery from Addiction: Taking Responsibility for Your Life

I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while... Read More

Positive Affirmations

Never used 'em. Not likely to start now.OK, so I... Read More

The Gift of Envy

The summer I was 20 years old, I worked as... Read More

Changing Negatives to Positives

Occasionally people will ask me how I keep a positive... Read More

Dissolving Stereotypes through Personal Individuality

The other evening, I was meticulously assembling and painting one... Read More

Success, the Only Option

One often hears people say they can't sketch because they... Read More

Be Thankful for What You Have Got

Did you know that the 911 equivalent in the UK... Read More

Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part One

Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets;... Read More

Enhance Wellness by Doing Something Different.

Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More

What?!? No Bananas?

"Where are your bananas?" It seemed like a logical question... Read More

Lose Your Hope And You Can Bring Down The Curtain!

The others in the raft didn't seem to share Eddie's... Read More

Life Changing Attitude

Do you really believe that there is anything in this... Read More

You Have All The Resources You Need

You already have all the resources you need to accomplish... Read More

Taking Yourself Too Seriously? - Suggestions for Reclaiming Your Perspective

"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of... Read More

Have a Present Moment!

It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked... Read More

Its Okay to Be Negative Sometimes!

Lately, I've been hearing that it's not okay to have... Read More

Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More

Heal and Release the Past

I had a completely different idea for my main article... Read More

The Mind?s Power Fusion Component

It is widely believed that just anybody has the intrinsic... Read More

Establish What you Want with NLP

Recently, a lady came to see me and she had... Read More

The Rearview Mirror and the Stuff of Life

Recently, a dear friend who has been both a coach... Read More

Financial Abundance And Peace Of Mind Are One!

There are only two emotions we can experience; love or... Read More

led manufacturer led spot light bulbs Pete's produce ..