Drug testing

Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?

Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is.

People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood.

And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains.

Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum

There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old.

Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life

"I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago"

People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind, their influence does not leave you.

Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered.

Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth.

A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better.

Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away

People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders.

These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware.

What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it.

This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive.

Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.

Rational Justifications Do NOT Penetrate the Subconscious Mind

Many well-intentioned people and spiritual mentors will agree that while injurious things may have been said and done, we should be mature or evolved enough to understand that our caretakers were doing the best they could.

After all, they didn't mean to hurt us with their harshness or neglect. Why don't we just rise above it and move on? Surely we are noble and generous-hearted enough to forgive them, yes?

Well, no, actually. And for two very important reasons.

First, this is an attempt to reason things out consciously. It is a fruitless activity, because it does nothing to reach and alter the core beliefs and distress that are stuffed down BEYOND conscious access.

And second, the person whose body and/or emotions were assailed was NOT an adult capable of reasoning things out so rationally. The early distress lives on unabated.

We Cannot Live With the Results

We may be able to carry on, but we cannot really live and flourish while those negative core beliefs remain frozen in time. The tragedy for so many of us is that they remain lodged firmly in place today, without our consent and without our conscious awareness.

Down With the Taboo Against Knowing Who We Are

Rather than continue to justify our ignorance, we must dare to bring the unconscious to conscious light. There are compelling reasons for doing so.

? To heal a mutilated sense of self-worth.
? To process our present moments through fresh eyes.
? To avoid becoming subtly mean, cruel or sarcastic.
? To prevent ourselves from unwittingly passing on our damage.

And finally, and perhaps most compelling of all, if traditional morality continues to deny us knowledge of ourselves and our history, our bodies will end up speaking for us. And this it will do by erupting into disease. Witness the alarming number of people who suffer from depression today.

Our psychological and emotional disturbances must eventually surface as some type of physical or mental malady. Or as I heard somewhere along the way, "If your mouth won't say it straight, your body will say it crooked."

And according to the title of Dr. Alice Miller's most recent book on the victimization of children, The Body Never Lies. Time spent digesting any of Dr. Miller's books is time well spent, indeed.

The greatest healing contribution any of us can make to world is to heal our own wounds, not hide from them or deny them or justify them. After all, we do want to live and not just survive, don't we?

Rosella Aranda is the author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to raising your sense of personal worth and getting rid of self-defeating behaviors.

Free Mini-Course at http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/

In The News:

A tiny, pointy-headed skeleton that fits in the palm of a hand isn't an alien, despite conspiracy theories that have circulated for years.
If you're experiencing a spell of bad luck, many people may ask you the same question: is Mercury in retrograde?
Even if you don't do drugs, there's a surprisingly decent chance your fingerprints have traces of cocaine and even heroin.
California residents, brace yourselves: an atmospheric river could bring multiple inches of rain to central and southern parts of the state over the next few days.
The researchers said the magma under Yellowstone may stretch as far as Mexico.
A look at where and why tornadoes happen and what to do if you're stuck in one.
Researchers have discovered 15 new planets around cool stars known as red dwarfs, and one of those planets might be able to host liquid water on its surface.
NASA's robotic space station crewmember could head down to Earth as early as May for repairs.
The rise of the largest volcanoes in the solar system may have led Mars to possess oceans hundreds of millions of years earlier than previously thought, a new study finds.
Stephen Hawking will spend eternity in the company of some other tremendously influential English scientists.

Quick Tips On Making Change Work For You

Facing a change and want to make it work for... Read More

Mastering Your Moods: How To Take Charge Of Your Feelings

John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm... Read More

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and... Read More

How Our Thoughts Create Mental Bugs

Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More

Positive Thinking: Polyanna Syndrome

Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More

Affecting Positive Results Through Affirmations

Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More

10 Tips to Cope with Negative Emotions at Work

It's a fact of life - if you want to... Read More

Think Positive: Using Affirmations to Create Health, Wealth and Beauty

You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More

Overcoming Bad Moods

From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More

Welcoming the Unexpected

As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More

How You Doing? The Answer is Up to You and It Will Make Your Day Great If You Answer Correctly!

How are you? That's a loaded question, and I'll tell... Read More

Self-Recovery from Addiction: Taking Responsibility for Your Life

I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while... Read More

How to Deal With No

No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More

Self-Confidence Sliding Downward!

There are times in all of our lives where our... Read More

Do You Neglect The Power Of Your Mind?

James Allen, who wrote the masterpiece, As a Man Thinketh,... Read More

How to Deal with Discouragement and Develop Exceptional People Skills

Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so... Read More

The Power of Inner Dialogue

Are you aware of your inner dialogue? If not, you... Read More

Your Frame of Mind May Determine Your Health

The mind absolutely amazes me. It will never be understood,... Read More

Our Worst Enemies

Most of us love to think that our problems are... Read More

In A Slump?, Rejoice I Say, Rejoice!

Yea, I know........I hear you saying "that's easy for you... Read More

My Sunshine

"You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine You Make Me... Read More

Mind Power - Fact or Fiction? Prove It For Yourself In The Next 7 Minutes - Truly Awesome!

Who are you?We all know that we are composed of... Read More

Thanks For The Rejection!

It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More

cheap led light bulbs led parking lot Pete's produce ..