From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people who attempt to improve their states of mind is feeling motivated to use the strategies when they have already slipped into negativity. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we just cannot help but fall into a less empowering mood, and then we stop doing the things we know we should do to feel good.
For example, imagine that you spent a whole week training up a new staff or team member, only to discover that s/he quit at the end of the week. At the same time you realise that your wallet has gone missing and that the new staff member incorrectly completed the contact section of the staff contract.
Angry!
Or this: you spend three hours writing a report and your computer crashes. You reboot your computer, access the recovered file and your computer crashes again! This time you lose the lot and you have to start again.
Frustrated!
The chances are, that if something happens to you that spontaneously makes you feel negative, such as in the above examples, you would not immediately feel motivated to change your state. In fact, you WANT to stay angry, frustrated etc. You LIKE IT!
The trouble is, remaining in a negative state, perpetuates the very problem that you are feeling negative about. For example, if you feel angry because someone stole your wallet or broke your trust, staying angry for the rest of the day won't help you to earn the money back. If you feel frustrated because you lost three hours worth of work on a report, staying frustrated won't help you to rewrite it.
In order to come out of the negative state of mind, we need to associate more pain to continuing to feel negative, and pleasure to feeling happy again. We have to make a conscious decision that we want to be happy, and do something about it.
How? As soon as we recognise that we are feeling negative, we can acknowledge that the negativity has been caused by losing something we enjoyed, or gaining something we didn't want. Once we know what that 'something' is, we can combat the bad state of mind by focusing on what we need to do to fix it. We can change from an emotional state to a goal achieving state. Sometimes when we feel angry, for example, we remain in that state because we feel like it helps to get what we want.
As I explain in my new book, Fast Track Your Success and Happiness, If we focus on achieving a goal (even if it is just a little one) we are no longer focusing on ourselves and our bad moods tend to disappear on their own.
So for example, if someone steals your wallet, focussing on the goal of cancelling your credit cards will put you in a better state (and be more productive) than thinking about how angry you are with the person who did it. If you lose a document, immediately sitting back down to rewrite it will have you feeling like a champ when you finish. If you are feeling unwell, setting a small goal (that won't make you feel physically worse) will help to shift the focus away from your poor health.
If you are just feeling TOO negative to be able to concentrate on achieving a goal, go and do any activity that requires concentration. For example, if you are at home you could watch a comedy video (the moving pictures and constant audio stream uses a large portion of our attention) or if you are at work, you could find something distracting to do.
The key is, distraction and change of focus, will help to change a negative emotion even if we are not motivated to change ourselves.
(C) Copyright Petra Rankin 2005
Petra Rankin used powerful techniques to beat her own long-term depression. She is now dedicated to teaching others how to be happier and lead more successful lives. Her first book fast track your success and happiness is due to be launched in September 2005 and is currently available for download as a fast track your success and happiness instead of paying $19.95. Limited time only!
Mercedes Benz s500 rentals Salem ..When you have a case of FABS, it may be... Read More
Ever witnessed an incident that needed to be reported to... Read More
Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More
In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More
There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are... Read More
Most of us love to think that our problems are... Read More
You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More
Facing a change and want to make it work for... Read More
"There is an infinitely worthier subject for philosophers (to study)... Read More
Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of... Read More
Emotions have the tendency to take over our actions and... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
P.M.A - so what is it? Some people will automatically... Read More
One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More
Problems, disappointments and trouble; the three skunks that sometimes think... Read More
Did you know that our thoughts may be influencing our... Read More
For some reason, most people find it easier to think... Read More
Do you know the problem with affirmations? You know, the... Read More
How would your life shift if you moved into what... Read More
1. Smile2. Laugh3. Greet people courteously4. Be enthusiastic5. Dream. Engage... Read More
Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action.... Read More
Dowagiac cheap limo service ..If I say the word "CHANGE" how do you feel?... Read More
I went online -- and what do I see? A... Read More
The hardest part of success is the **courage** you need... Read More
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... Read More
How would your life shift if you moved into what... Read More
Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You... Read More
Drinking damages the soul; being lustful damages the vitality; greed... Read More
Decades ago, I saw a metaphysical movie that wonderfully illustrates... Read More
Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More
You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More
"Most overnight successes are just plain lucky. Just ask any... Read More
Heard of a raindance? It is a ritual used by... Read More
Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More
Inevitably in life we will face disappointment from time to... Read More
ARE YOU IN... OR OUT?Are you in or out of... Read More
There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
A Yale University study a few years ago revealed that... Read More
Wahms, do you constantly compare yourself with others and come... Read More
It took me a long time to realise the benefits... Read More
I've yet to meet the person who never struggles with... Read More
Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More
The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure... Read More
Have you ever read that you should think positively when... Read More
In my years as a psychologist, I have come to... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |