Drug testing

Get the Confidence to Be Your Best

A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing that 3 out of 4 of us would love to be more confident but don't know how to go about it.

The sheer quantity of choices and opportunities for thirtysomethings is greater than ever before and for the people polled, seeing through these opportunities and finding what's right for them can seem like an impossible task.

The research (conducted by website www.lifecoachforyou.com) polled over four hundred thirtysomethings in the UK and USA, and also found that a massive nine out of ten people (88%) in their thirties openly acknowledge that they're not living up to their full potential, showing that even though people want more for themselves they lack the confidence to get it.

According to thirtysomething confidence expert Steve Errey, "Confidence is the number one thing that holds people back, and it can be a real block when we're looking to make changes." says Errey, "If you have a lack of confidence it runs through all parts of your life, from relationships to career to social life. A boost in confidence gives us the space to explore what works for us, and makes it okay for us to go out and try different things."

The survey showed that thirtysomethings rate themselves as 66% confident on average, and most would like to be in the 90-100% confident range. "That lack of confidence and the gap between where people find themselves today and where they want to be makes ripe ground for the quarter-life crisis," adds Errey. "It's a huge and growing problem that's now a reality for many people, but it doesn't have to be that way."

"I can't believe the change in myself," says Sarah, a thirtysomething based in London who went through a coaching programme with Steve to boost her confidence. "I feel so comfortable in my own skin now, and don't talk down to myself anymore ? something I used to do all the time. I feel okay in situations that used to make me feel awful or panicky, and so many things in my life have just fallen into place."

Steve says there are three keys to getting more confidence. "First of all, you need to recognise that you're your own worst critic, and notice how much of each day you spend giving yourself a hard time or talking yourself out of things. In coaching we call that negative voice the Gremlin, and it has a huge part to play in keeping you where you are and will use every trick in the book to stop you from taking chances.

"You wouldn't put up with your best friend talking to you the way your Gremlin does, so don't put up with your Gremlin talking to you like that. When you know when the Gremlin is talking to you you're able to develop strategies to deal with it. With that voice gone you can replace it with a more positive one, a voice that reminds you of what you want and tells you that you can do it." says Errey. The survey supports this and shows that 68% of those polled regularly hear "the Gremlin" with just 4% never hearing that voice.

"When I figured out that most of what I told myself was coming from the Gremlin there was no holding me back," says Sarah of her experience, "that voice still pipes up from time to time but I know where it's coming from and know how to put it in its place. That was a huge realisation for me."

"The second thing is to get to know your personal values," says Errey. "A value is something that's ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the core of who you are. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that's most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, achievement or freedom.

"When you know your values you can start making choices based on them and get your life aligned around them. You know those times when you've felt amazing or powerful or buzzing? Those are the times when some of your values are being honoured, and you can get more of that by living according to them."

With the survey showing that nearly nine out of ten thirtysomethings feel they aren't living up to their potential, Steve believes that values are one of the biggest missing pieces of the puzzle. "Living according to your values is one of the simplest changes someone can make, and the great thing is that it feels amazing when you do it. All you're doing is letting the fundamental chunks of yourself live in the real world ? so of course that's going to feel great."

Sarah agrees, "Learning my values was really important. I identified them at the start and they still hold true six months later. Knowing them makes me feel 'okay' about all kinds of different situations."

The final key to confidence is perhaps the hardest ? taking action. "Life rewards action," says Errey, "and everything you do takes you one step closer to what you want." The poll showed that three out of ten of people always put things off and a further four out of ten tend to put things off on a regular basis.

"When I figure out what I want or what I need to do I go ahead and do it now," continues Sarah, "Just doing something makes me feel good, and if I hit the procrastination stage I know how to handle it."

"Do at least one thing every day towards what you want" adds Errey, "you'll be amazed at how your confidence builds and how quickly things can fall into place."

About the Author
Steve Errey specialises in personal growth for thirtysomethings, works with people on their careers, relationships and confidence and helps them get more fun, fulfilment and freedom. For more information please contact Steve on 0845 644 3001, by email at steve@steveerrey.com or visit his website at http://www.steveerrey.com.

In The News:

If you live in Virginia and have spotted a black bear as of late, an acorn storage this fall may be to blame, wildlife experts say.
A mysterious painting hidden for centuries at the Tower of London may be a self-portrait of the famous adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh.
If you live in the Sunshine State, beware: the puss caterpillar has made its seasonal return in Florida. And while this fuzzy creature may look soft, experts are warning to stay away.
Skywatchers are in for an experience that’s literally out of this world: a full moon, known as the Hunter’s Moon, will take place on Wednesday. 
Researchers have discovered what they say is the world’s oldest intact shipwreck at the bottom of the Black Sea.
A dog’s life expectancy and risk of developing serious illnesses have been linked to the color of their coats.
Maybe it is hip to be square. 
Alien life might be purple.
Researchers say active fault lines on Mount Hood could potentially trigger a 7.2 magnitude quake that could reach Portland.
The Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C. has confirmed that five of its 16 Dead Sea Scroll fragments are fakes.

10 Tips to Cope with Negative Emotions at Work

It's a fact of life - if you want to... Read More

Find Your Inner Strength to Tackle Any Challenge

Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More

4 Ways You Can Get Over Your Need for Acceptance and Get on with Your Life

Imagine what your life would be like if you could... Read More

Life Energy

There is a growing appreciation of the impact of psychic... Read More

You may be Shocked to Hear This

What I mean of course is, to appreciate life through... Read More

Taming Your Gremlin

"Who am I fooling?" "I'm a loser," "I'm too old,"... Read More

Release Your Agression In Your DIARY OF EMOTIONS

In order for you to make positive ground daily you... Read More

Get Out of Jail Free: How to Identify Unconscious Beliefs

Know thyself.These words were inscribed in the vestibule of the... Read More

Cant Take a Compliment?

"Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen... Read More

Instant Frequency Boosters: 10 Fast and Simple Ways to Raise Your Vibration

When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's... Read More

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will... Read More

Stream of Consciousness

One thing that is important to realize about thought: one... Read More

How Important is Attitude?

We have often missed the mark because we believe we... Read More

Finding Meaning in Life: Three Steps

So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and... Read More

Failure is Only Feedback

Does the thought of failure send a cold shiver down... Read More

How Our Beliefs Narrow The Limits Of Our Possibilities

The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More

In The Midst Of A Storm, Theres Something More!

Have you truly tried and still failed? Have you pushed... Read More

Mastering Mindfulness: A Thinkers Ode to Meditation

I'm lucky.When I was fifteen, I was the sole survivor... Read More

Managing Life Changes the Tetris Way (or How to Let the Blocks Fall with Skill and Grace)

Are you undergoing a major life change? Or merely trying... Read More

Anger - The Truth Beneath

The other day one of my "challenging clients" and I... Read More

You Are A Winner!

You are already a winner, and so am I.Although you... Read More

Perfect to the Penny

At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More

The Power of Positive Thinking: Unlimited Possibilities

Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More

Condition or Definition?

In talking with a coaching client recently, she made a... Read More

led public lighting leds lights Pete's produce ..