Drug testing

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will stumble into a rendition about 'how miserable life is.' The adult children are wrecking havoc in the home, the job's not going well, money is short, and a whole other slew of treacherous stories. During the conversation, I would interject, 'but how does this effect you personally?'

Much to my dismay, that query is usually left unanswered. Clearly we have all been in similar communication and being the compassionate persons we are, we might ask, 'so what are you going to do about it?' The most common response, 'I don't know...' or '...I can't do anything about it...'

That's when the conversation get's sticky. Now that the other person has literally poured out his heart to you about all the demons in his life, we human beings are compelled to offer our intricate advice on how to deal with their problems. Though well intended, most of our advisement will fall on deaf ears when the individual in question, is inviting misery in her life.

What do I mean by 'inviting misery?' Who would invite misery into his life? We are all guilty of inviting misery into our lives at one time or another. Suddenly, we are faced with a problem and because the problem has clouded our logic, we can not and will not accept helpful advice. Instead, we harp on the problem. We permit the problem or problems to rule our individual lives and lifestyles. Because we succomb to the problem, we begin to 'live' the problem. How does that happen? We begin to live the problem when all we can do is rant and rave about it, but subsequently, do nothing about it.

So now we're back to square one.

Here is a hypothetical example:

Joe is no one in particular - he could be your best friend, co-worker or brother. He is a divorced man in his mid-40s, works in a factory or office, and has raised two children by himself. His son is a narcissist who has a devil-may-care attitude and neglects his child. You're in mid-conversation and now you're faced with Joe's married son's issues. Joe begins to tell you all about how his son leaches off of him, brings his dirty laundry for him to wash, neglects his grandson, and doesn't listen to him for any parental advice. Joe has become so consumed by his son's wreckless behavior and unwillingness to modify his lifestyle that Joe himself has become a nervous wreck. So what do you do? You offer your friend your 'helpful' advice: 'Stop letting your son run your life...if he's not taking care of his child, turn him in...' What happens next is inevitable: "I CAN'T do that!"

Now this is where we are ultimately faced with a critical dilemma. We have now invaded Joe's private space and have warranted retalliation because Joe doesn't really want to solve his problems. Joe just wants to complain about problems that aren't his. It's his son - of course they're his problems - wrong.

But how does that invite misery? Well, it doesn't invite misery into our own lives, but it does in Joe's case. Joe knows that he has all the tools at his disposal to fix part or all of the situation. It's not that Joe can't fix the problem, it's that he doesn't want to fix the problem. Repairing situations takes effort, dedication and sometimes, sacrifice - it is much easier to complain about it. In Joe's case, turning his son in for neglect may sever the ties of his complex father-son relationship. He feels instant guilt and betrayal should he file a report. He doesn't want to stop his son from using him because he may sever ties of communication with him. Instead, he would rather uphold an abusive relationship with his own grown son, knowing that his grandson is in harm's way for the sake of preserving his relationship with him. This is a classical example of inviting misery into one's life.

Joe has subconsciously invited misery to become his partner in everyday life. He lives in constant debate on whether he's doing the 'right thing.' He is angry that his son has grown into a volatile person, and he is scared for his grandson's health. But still, he accepts this self-induced fate. Joe cannot control the actions of his son, but, he can control his own actions. If he permits his son to burden him with his behavior, dirty laundry and leaching, then he has invariably created his own problem. If Joe has knowledge that his grandson is being neglected, it is by choice that he allows the neglect to continue. Only Joe has the power to choose.

As human beings, we are often faced with difficult choices in life. And many times, it is much easier to worry and complain. Though difficult decisions may arise, we still have the option to create more livable environments by directing ourselves in more constructive pattens. There are many 'Joes' out there with lesser or more complex problems than the fictional Joe in this article; however, you - nor I - can help him. Joe has to help himself first.

*If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis and needs help resolving personal issues, please feel free to review our holistic and consumer resources directories at HolisticJunction.com for counseling help today.

Disclaimer: Literature is intended for educational purposes only and is not intended to substitute the advice provided by a licensed health professional

? 2005 - Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?
by C. Bailey-Lloyd aka. LadyCamelot

C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot is the Public Relations Director & Staff Writer for Holistic Junction -- Your source of information for Naturopathic Practitioners; Naturopathic Schools; other Alternative Healthcare; Insightful Literature and so much more!

In The News:

Beachgoers in Bonita Spring, Florida were treated to a strange sight last week: an alligator going for a swim.
A remarkable map created in space over 50 years ago could lead a modern-day explorer to the sites of treasure-laden shipwrecks in the Bahamas.
Scientists studying bones unearthed from an ancient tomb in China’s Shaanxi Province have discovered the remains of a new but totally extinct species of ape.
Mars may be known as the Red Planet, but it's a "blue dune" image NASA has released that's got everyone talking.
Experts in Italy say they have found the earliest surviving work by Leonardo da Vinci.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates is pouring £3million ($4 million) into a project to create killer mosquitoes that destroy each other through sex.
Bedrock under Antarctica is rising more swiftly than ever recorded — about 1.6 inches (41 millimeters) upward per year. And thinning ice in Antarctica may be responsible.
A new study validates Einstein's theory of general relativity in a distant galaxy for the first time.
On Mars, the sky is dust.
A small moon rock gifted to Cambodia by the United States amid the Vietnam War has resurfaced after being all but lost to time and strife.

Using Power Affirmations on ePosters

I believe that one of the best ways to stay... Read More

Cant Take a Compliment?

"Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen... Read More

Halt All Complaining

Have you ever thought about you have a lot to... Read More

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

If we are the products of our attitudes then it... Read More

Getting Over Your Fear Of Success

The fear of success is more common than some might... Read More

Optimism, the Only Option for Success

People with negative attitudes may wonder why they never achieve... Read More

Positive Things To Do For Yourself

Being a mom can take a toll on your body,... Read More

The Art of Thankfulness

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More

Positioned For Success - The Refined Art Of Taking A Chance

ARE YOU IN... OR OUT?Are you in or out of... Read More

Lose Your Hope And You Can Bring Down The Curtain!

The others in the raft didn't seem to share Eddie's... Read More

3 Little Words Equal More Power To You!

Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why... Read More

The TRUTH About What REALLY Causes Negative Thoughts

Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Instantly

Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More

Spring Into Enchantment

Who can control a smile sneaking across your face as... Read More

Self Confidence and the Way You Use Your Words

The way we use language can have a huge impact... Read More

Dispell Anger in 2 Simple Steps

"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More

Give Your Attitude A Little Altitude

Need a way to make your life a better place... Read More

Overcoming Seductive Sadness

Unhappy moods can be like comfortable sweaters, those old ones:... Read More

Creating an Emotional Retreat

Emotions have the tendency to take over our actions and... Read More

How Gratitude Can Be Your Partner in Life

Gratitude is one of the most important things you can... Read More

Why Should You Forgive?

When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware... Read More

Theres No Negative In My Program - Part 2

Well you know about the young hero who saved his... Read More

How to Deal With No

No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More

Accepting Rejected Thoughts

Sometimes we are in a position to look into the... Read More

Top Ten Ways to a More Positive Outlook on Winter

Year after year I find more and more individuals saying... Read More

garage led lighting new street lights Pete's produce ..