Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the edge of responsibility and forgot the real reason she is working so hard. It's for her daughter.
Being a single parent isn't easy. Between working, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and homework, there isn't much time left in the day. It's a heavy burden to be the sole supporter of a young child. But when pressures and tensions are so great that harmful words spill out like bitter pills, isn't it time to stop and take inventory?
"Clean your room or I'm gonna kill you!" "If you don't do your homework right now, I'll break your neck!" "Just leave me alone, I've had a rough day."
These statements came from a woman who loves her daughter and she's working hard to provide for her. If you asked Maryann, she'd say she would do anything in the world for her child. But why can't she see that respectful communication conveys love more than a new pair of shoes ever will? And why does she have to be reminded to treat her child with respect?
Maryann isn't alone. Life is frustrating. We've all heard parents, married, single or otherwise, speak to their children in anger. As adults, we've all rolled our eyes at the dramatic threats, knowing full well they have no intention of being carried out. But does a child know these are simply dumb words spoken in frustration? Does a child know that the violent threats of bodily harm are hollow?
Whether over the top displays of drama are blurted in anger, or merely used to snap a child to attention, the results are unhealthy and damaging.
When little Billy tells a classmate he is going to kill him over a broken crayon, where do you think he learned that response from? And in today's climate, do you think anyone would consider it just an innocent statement from an innocent child? Billy would be sent to the principal's office on the spot. And if not, he would certainty be called down after the victim of his harsh words went home and told his parents and they reported it to the school.
What happens when your child gets a little older and has a real problem? What if he needs to talk about drugs or alcohol? Or she has a problem in school, or a question about boys? Repeatedly belittling your child with angry words and intimidation will break down the barriers of communication long before you even reach this point. If you threaten to "kill" your child over a messy room, what would you do if she told you she was having sex?
Anger has a way of creating very colorful and exaggerated statements. Parents and caregivers need to make a concerted effort to remove these damaging phrases from their vocabulary by controlling anger. Save the drama for a time when it is really needed. On occasion, shocking statements do have a place in parenting, but used on a daily basis, they will only sever to create fear or simply numb your child to your words.
Search your vocabulary; are you unintentionally damaging the relationship you have with your child? Here are some steps to help you take control when you feel frustration and anger rise.
Anger is a natural emotion. It can't be completely controlled or removed from our lives, but you can change the way you handle things. In doing so, you gain an invaluable gift, a respectful relationship with your child. Healthy communication is a parent's weapon against the outside world. A child should turn to his parent in times of trouble, not run away in fear.
About The Author
Patricia Gatto and John De Angelis are the authors of MILTON'S DILEMMA, the tale of a lonely boy's magical journey to friendship and self-acceptance. As advocates for literacy and children's rights, the authors speak at schools and community events to foster awareness and provide children with a safe and healthy learning environment. For more information, please visit Joyful Productions at http://www.joyfulproductions.com
http://www.joyfulproductions.com
Oswego taxi to Midway ..A while ago I received this story from David in... Read More
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
shuttle from Midway Morris ..As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
Parenting |