Q. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A. "Something that hasn't been invented yet."
Most of us were brought up to study hard, get good grades, choose a "practical" college major, and strive for a "good job."
Talk to a stranded midlife career-changer and you realize the game has changed. Yesterday's rules prepared us to be passengers on a large ocean liner that promised a smooth voyage. Today we realize that ocean liner turned out to be the Titanic and we need to keep ourselves afloat on a small life raft if we want to survive.
Here are some tips to help your child learn not only to survive, but to thrive and grow in a chaotic world.
1. From the first day of kindergarten, encourage your child to build on strengths rather than focus on limitations.
Does she spend hours studying models of cars for the last twenty years? Maybe she'll become an auto mechanic -- or maybe she'll parlay her ability to classify detailed information into a career as a biologist or pharmacist.
2. Encourage your child to choose a field of study based on his or her natural abilities and passions, not "what will get me a job."
Claudia Kennedy, the Army's first female three-star General, majored in philosophy. In her book Generally Speaking, she claims philosophy prepared her to become a top-level intelligence officer. Carly Fiorino, famed CEO of Hewlett-Packard, studied medieval history. And Michael Lewis, financial writer and best-selling author of Liars Poker, was an art history major.
3. Assure your children that few mistakes are fatal.
Did your child fail a course? Face rejection from a first-choice college? Most of us can't avoid an occasional failure, but we can learn bounce-back attitudes as soon as we can talk.
Yolanda Griffith, WNBA basketball star, dropped out of a premier program due to pregnancy. She returned to a lower-ranked college program, baby in tow, and now plays for the Sacramento Monarchs.
I once taught a student who had flunked out of junior college following a close call with the legal system. After a four-year stint in the US Navy, she returned to college, maintained a dean's list grade point average, and went on to a top law school.
4. Encourage your child to experience success in any area of her life.
Did she make the honor roll? Get selected for a play, a club, or athletic team? Win an election for competitive office? Survive a strenuous application process for a summer job? Once your child has tasted success, he will know how it feels and will act like a winner when he enters the job market.
Cecilia, a shy twelve-year-old, blossomed when she won the lead in a school play. "We want you to improve your grades, not spend time in rehearsal!" fumed her worried mother.
To everyone's surprise, Cecilia's grades improved and she made new friends with the "good kids" who were also achievers. Most important, no matter what happens, Cecilia can return to that feeling of success whenever she gets discouraged.
5. Getting into a top university -- or any university -- will not guarantee success.
I've met Ivy Leaguers who have experienced unemployment, bankruptcy and even homelessness. I've met high school drop outs who flourished on their own initiative. In my own small town, a couple with degrees from excellent schools have dropped out to pursue artistic careers -- and they clean houses to pay the bills. Recently a minimum wage job was posted by a nonprofit -- and several unemployed lawyers applied.
Career-changers who face the future with an attitude of "I can handle anything" are the ones who win today. Tossed into the ocean, they'll improvise a set of oars and keep up their spirits till they figure out what to do next. Those who feel betrayed ("I thought I was set for life") flounder around for weeks, months, even years.
Entitlement is over. Those who have a positive outlook, who can seize the unexpected opportunity, can count on reaching the shore. And they realize that only they can transform a resting place into a safe harbor.
About The Author
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First Steps to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com
"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change"
Contact: http://www.cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294
Alto Pass chicago limos ..What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
Alto Pass cool limo ..As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More
Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More
Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Parenting |