Drug testing

Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is the best way to ensure that they live a happy, successful, and responsible life as an adult. Here are ten ways to help your kids attain a high degree of emotional intelligence:

1. Model emotional intelligence yourself

Yes, your kids are watching very closely. They see how you respond to frustration, they see how resilient you are, and they see whether you're aware of your own feelings and the feelings of others.

2. Be willing to say "no" to your kids

There's a lot of stuff out there for kids. And your kids will ask for a lot of it. Saying no will give your kids an opportunity to deal with disappointment and to learn impulse control. To a certain degree, your job as a parent is to allow your kids to be frustrated and to work through it. Kids who always get what they want typically aren't very happy.

3. Be aware of your parental "hotspots"

Know what your issues are-what makes you come unglued and what's this really about? Is it not being in control? Not being respected? Underneath these issues lies a fear about something. Get to know what your fear is so you're less likely to come unglued when you're with your kids. Knowing your issues doesn't make them go away, it just makes it easier to plan for and to deal with.

4. Practice and hone your skills at being non-judgmental

Start labeling feelings and avoid name-calling. Say, "he seems angry," rather than, "what a jerk." When your kids are whiny or crying, saying things like, "you seem sad," will always be better than just asking them to stop. Depriving kids of the feelings they're experiencing will only drive them underground and make them stronger.

5. Start coaching your kids

When kids are beyond the toddler years, you can start coaching them to help them to be more responsible. Instead of "get your hat and gloves," you can ask, "what do you need to be ready for school?" Constantly telling your kids what to do does not help them to develop confidence and responsibility.

6. Always be willing to be part of the problem

See yourself as having something to do with every problem that comes along. Most problems in families get bigger when parents respond to them in a way that exacerbates the problem. If your child makes a mistake, remember how crucial it is for you to have a calm, reasoned response.

7. Get your kids involved in household duties at an early age

Research suggests that kids who are involved in household chores from an early age tend to be happier and more successful. Why? From an early age, they're made to feel they are an important part of the family. Kids want to belong and to feel like they're valuable.

8. Limit your kids access to mass media mania

Young kids need to play, not spend time in front of a screen. To develop creativity and problem-solving skills, allow your kids time to use free play. Much of the mass media market can teach your kids about consumerism, sarcasm, and violence. What your kids learn from you and from free play with others will provide the seeds for future emotional intelligence.

9. Talk about feelings as a family

State your emotional goals as a family. These might be no yelling, no name-calling, be respectful at all times, etc. Families that talk about their goals are more likely to be aware of them and to achieve them. As the parent, you then have to "walk the talk."

10. See your kids as wonderful

There is no greater way to create emotional intelligence in your child than to see them as wonderful and capable. One law of the universe is, "what you think about expands." If you see your child and think about them as wonderful, you'll get a lot of "wonderful." If you think about your child as a problem, you'll get a lot of problems.

Having a high IQ is nice, but having a high "EQ" is even better. Make these ten ideas daily habits and you'll give your kids the best chance possible to be happy, productive, and responsible adults.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

In The News:

Maine beachgoers were surprised to find a mysterious sea creature washed up on Higgins Beach earlier this week. It was later determined to perhaps be the decomposing body of a basking shark.
An alligator has been spotted near the barracks of the Marine Corps Air Station New River in Jacksonville, North Carolina, officials said.
One year before humanity's first lunar landing, the moon must have still felt quite far away.
Personal items including a Cartier watch and an ornate gold pencil holder that once belonged to Wallis Simpson and King Edward VIII are up for auction in the U.K. on Saturday.
What to know about different types of dangerous herbage — from hogweed to wild parsnip — that can produce serious burns or, in some cases, lead to blindness or death.
Dark matter and dark energy may be weird and (as of now) inexplicable, but they do seem to exist.
A recently discovered 113-year-old Russian shipwreck that may contain more than $130 billion in gold bars and coins is sparking controversy.
A remarkable baby snake embryo has been discovered encased in 99-million-year-old amber.
Researchers have unearthed a new armored dinosaur in Utah, a new species of ankylosaur. The catch? It used to live on a lost continent.
Archaeologists in Egypt have opened up a mysterious ancient ‘cursed’ black granite sarcophagus.

Life Stuck In Fast Forward

the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More

The Different Types, or Styles, of ADHD

Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More

Public Schools Can Waste 12 Years of Your Child?s Life

For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More

Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier

1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More

Clean Kid Syndrome - Does Your Child Suffer from it?

The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More

Meningitis and Septicaemia

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More

Time Out for Adults

"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More

Create a Story Book with Your Child

A fun way to build your child's imaginationWriting is still... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More

Parenting - Give Your Child The Tools To Build Strong Character And Values

There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Should We Apologize To Our Children?

An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More

Give Your Child Life Skills for a Lifetime

Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

How to Get Your Children Brand Free

Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More

The Child Chef

If you really want to get your children to eat... Read More

The Secret of Understanding Children

It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

Keep the Little Ones Safe, Follow Pool Safety Guidelines

Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More

Sibling Rivalry: The Magic Trick That Stops It Instantly

It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More

Top Three Ways To Communicate With Your Child

Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More

Are Public Schools Anti-Parent?

Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Camps for Troubled Teens: Disciplines and Wilderness

Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen... Read More

street lighting fixtures street light cost Pete's produce ..