Drug testing

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This is the tool that allows you as parents to train your child. Through obedience your child will learn self-control and develop other positive character traits that he will need as an adult.

However, obedience cannot be forced upon the child. Parents who simply command their children will foster resentment, which will eventually lead to rebellion. In fact, some researchers feel that poor parenting techniques contribute to the development of oppositional defiant disorderin some children. Although you can punish a child for not obeying, this will not foster any long-term obedience. When the child reaches his teen years and becomes more independent, punishment will only serve to destroy the already faltering parent child relationship.

Our goal then is not to force our children to obey us, but to get them to want to obey us. This willingness to obey will only come about if the parent's commands are based upon seven principles.

1-Loving Concern for the Child

A child knows quickly whether a parent's demands are for the sake of the child or for the personal convenience of the parent. If the parent's primary motive for giving orders is to make his own life easier, then the child learns to place his own interests first, also. If you want to be successful in raising your child, then your reason for giving orders must be for the benefit of your child. When your child senses that your demands are for his sake, he will much more readily obey you. He knows that it is for his own good. He will know that any demands made of him, no matter how unpleasant, come from a genuine concern for his welfare.

2-Sincere Respect for the Child

Parents must respect their children. This is a concept that is not well practiced by our society. Western society focuses on possessions. Somehow in the back of many parents' minds their children are counted among those possessions. We must remember that our children are not objects, but people. As people, they are deserving of respect. We must remember to give respect to our child to the same degree we would like others to respect us.

3-Patience

Very often our children do things that bother us. This is usually unintentional on their part and is just a reflection of their immaturity. However, if we show our children that we are annoyed they will begin to resent us. This resentment feeds their desire to rebel against our wishes. One of our goals as parents must be to try to keep our negative emotions in check.

4-Speak Softly

Nothing gains a child's cooperation more than a gentle tone of voice. Speaking softly helps us to control our negative emotions, especially anger. A soft voice soothes and is more likely to be met with cooperation. It creates a relaxed atmosphere and is reassuring to children.

When we speak in a soft voice it also conveys strength. We show our children that we are in control of the situation and not merely reacting to it. If the only step you take is to control the volume of your voice, particularly in stressful situations, that alone will foster better child compliance. You will find that everything around you goes more smoothly.

5-Make Moderate Demands

No one likes having demands placed upon him. Children are no different. Yet we are constantly commanding our children. We feel that as parents we must take steps to correct every misdemeanor that we see. When the orders become excessive or arbitrary the parent becomes more like a dictator that an educator.

If you place a lot of obligations on your child, then your child is going to resent and resist your authority. One of the most important steps in getting your child to listen to you is to reduce the amount of demands that you place upon him. This will require you to stay calm and overlook a lot of childish behavior. Commands should be made thoughtfully and be within reasonable limits. The general rule is that if a certain behavior is not something your child will be doing as an adult and if it is not dangerous, then you should not make it a priority to correct.

6-Follow Through

Even if you do all that has been mentioned so far, you will still need to give your child orders. When you do so, you must be firm and make sure that your child obeys. If you give your child an instruction you must insist that he fulfill it. Often it will be easier or more convenient to just overlook disobedience. This is the end will erode your authority as a parent.

You should only make moderate and well thought out demands on your child. However, when you do make those orders your child must fulfill them. If we want our children to take our words seriously, then we must show them that we are serious.

7-Be Free with 'Yes', but not with 'No'

We must try to grant every reasonable request our children make of us. They should feel that we are giving to them freely and in overflowing abundance at all times. You should make it a rule to give your child whatever he wants unless you have a good reason not to do so.

In addition, we should try to temper our use of 'no'. Try not to avoid saying 'no' whenever possible. For example, if your child wants to have a treat before dinner and you want him to eat first, rather than say 'no' or 'not now' say, 'yes, after dinner.' This small change in the way you use the words 'yes'and 'no' will change your child's perception from the feeling that most of his desires are being denied to that most of them are being granted.

Conclusion

It is natural for a child to want to obey his parents. It is also necessary for his proper growth and development. Applying these seven keys will help you to make it easier for your child to obey you. If you want to see how you are doing as a parent, see our Parenting Quiz at http://addadhdadvances.com/parentquiz.html.

If you want more information on ways that you can teach even the most difficult child to obey you, please see our Child Behavior Program at http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html

Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and international lecturer. Get ADD ADHD Child Behavior and Treatment Help for your ADHD child, including child behavior advice, information on the latest ADHD treatment, and help with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Sign up for the free ADD ADHD dvances online journal. Send an email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subsaa

In The News:

Experts have revealed details of the mysterious 8,000-year-old rock carvings found in the world’s largest asteroid crater.
If you thought a giant octopus clutching you with its eight arms was the stuff of nightmares, think again.
Whether you're a dog owner or not, you've likely looked into a dog's eyes and been bewitched by the sheer cuteness. 
During the last ice age, bone-crushing hyenas stalked the snowy Canadian Arctic, likely satisfying their meat cravings by hunting herds of caribou and horses, while also scavenging mammoth carcasses on the tundra, a new study finds.
When you drop your plastic waste into the recycling bin, it most likely makes its way around the world, where it can pose a health and security risk to developing countries, according to a new Guardian report .
Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins has revealed a previously unseen photo of the famous Moon landing crewmembers that he “found at the bottom of a box.”
Four German warships that were used and sank during World War One are being put up for sale on the auction website and could fetch $1 million or more.
Danish meteorologist Steffen Olsen and his band of sled dogs are walking on thin ice — across a frozen sea that has become flooded with melted glacial waters.
NASA released the closest shot of the near-Earth asteroid 101955 Bennu this week. 
NASA is upping the ante as it continues its search for alien planets and may wind up using a starshade in one of its upcoming missions.

Invented Spelling --- Another Alice-in-Wonderland Public-School Theory

As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More

Dad, Go Ahead and Cry

She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More

Revering the Crayon Marks

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children

It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More

The ADD Child: Challenging Parents, Teachers and Friends

The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More

Homeschooling ? Is It Worth It?

Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More

The Worlds Greatest Dad

You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More

Raising Teenagers? Stay C.A.L.M.

Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More

Organizing a Car Wash Fundraiser

The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More

Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit

Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More

Help Your Child Do Better in School

1. Create... Read More

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment as a Party Activity

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

Im a Mom, Shes a Mom: Being an Adult with Your Parents

On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More

Growing Good People

At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More

7 Things To Teach Your Kids About Money

Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More

Labor of Love

The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More

Discipline on My Mind

I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More

Caretaking Parents, Entitled Kids

Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More

Renee?s Mommy is Here

I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More

How Public Schools Assault Parents Values

Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More

Parents and Children Working Together

When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More

God Dont Like Rich People

I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More

Eating Disorders in Children

If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More

energy star led light bulbs decorative street lights Pete's produce ..