The question I have for you drives right to the heart of the matter. It could alter that tired, haggard feeling you have at the end of a day or weekend. It could alter the life of your children for the better and the life of their future partner. More than that, it could even alter your community, because once I've told you the question and you've seen how powerful it is you'll want to share it with your brother, sister, neighbours and friends.
Before I ask you my question I want to set the scene. You're a loving parent striving to give your children the best life you can offer. You race around the household picking up their dirty underwear from under the bed, collecting the towels from the bathroom floor and spend whatever time it takes to knock up their favourite food while one of your children spends fifty percent of their free time surfing the net and talking in chat rooms and the other catches up on thirty hours of TV a week. Meantime, you?
Well, sometimes you might feel tired. Sometimes deflated. Sometimes unappreciated and perhaps just a tad grumpy! If you relate to any of what I describe then my question will change it all for you and I recommend you read on.
For women, age-old family values still play a big part. Values passed on ? mother-to-mother ? combine with the natural instincts to love, support and nurture. And despite doing a day job you probably still arrive home and strive to take care of your family in the way your mother took care of you. But are your mother's old values working for you and, just as importantly, are they working for your children?
So, here is the question?
What kind of children do you want to raise?
Do we want to raise well-rounded, confident, considerate children that show gratitude and appreciation for all that is given to them and just a fraction of what you do for them? Do you want strong, loving children, who understand and accept responsibility for their 'self' and the ones they love. If you do then I have a second question for you?
Will the current behaviour in your household make that happen?
Will chatting to strangers on the internet during a large part of her free time help your daughter become a confident, considerate woman? Will Homer Simpson help your son to respect his 'self' and the ones he loves? And will you picking up their sweaty, crumpled, underwear help them to become responsible for their own lives?
I recently overheard a woman talking about her 12 year-old son. She confessed to laying out his clothes each morning, packing his school bag with books and food and then she said, "Because if I don't, he'll forget." This shocked me and here is why?
My own children, since the age of five have done all the things that a lot of mother's still do. Why? Because I am their parent ? their guide and leader, not their nanny ? and as such I have a responsibility to first nurture, then educate, then, as soon as they are ready, hand over responsibility for their wellbeing to them. Children who take part in their own life ? pick up their dirty linen, contribute to dinner and tidying their home ? go on to become confident, well-rounded, respectful kids; and children who don't? well they're the ones you might moan about to your friends when you witness them disrespecting both other human beings and the environment.
Begin by directing your children to take on small tasks. Ask them to put their clothes in a washing basket or hang a towel up. Ask them to bring their plates to the sink and wash them after dinner and tell them they are helping you and that you really appreciate their help. Give them a hug for their help and they might do even more! As they get better increase the tasks. Ask them to cut the grass for you, iron the clothes or cook dinner. And if you think that is too much responsibility then think about this?
A Maasai tribe leader appointed a seven year-old girl as the person in charge of two-thirds of his village's wealth. The wealth was not held in money, but in three camels. The girl was responsible for ensuring that these camels stayed safe and well fed and she knew if she failed to do this properly then the villagers may end up starving. Maybe we could trust our children with a vacuum or a mop or a duster once or twice a week!
Help your children to find purpose in life. Find more time for your 'self' so you can to define your own purpose more strongly.
About The Author
Neil Millar is the novelist behind the potent SAS adventure Black Water, personal development writer and author of Simple Steps to Greater Happiness and Be the Hero in your Own Life. Neil's words inspire people to find greater reward in their work and more fun in their personal relationships and life. Subscribe to the Ezine he writes for Unstoppable Life? FREE!
Join Neil's readership at Unstoppable Life and get a FREE copy of his e-book, Steps to Greater Happiness. It's FREE. Sign up at www.unstoppablelife.com
taxi o'hare Wisconsin Dells ..As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
bmw rental chicago Ackley ..As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school,... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Parenting |