"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."
My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."
Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important! "These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.
What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better? "The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."
I'm stunned.
They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds. Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.
I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.
How bad are things across America? Pretty bad for many families. Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:
"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."
So parents, please get more involved in the lives of your children. Spend more time with them. Quantity time is as important as quality time. Encourage your teens to work hard to reach their goals. Encourage them to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God." Parents should be their teen's role models, not other teens who have yet to experience much in the way of life or wisdom themselves. Parents, let's step it up a bit. It will make a big difference in the lives of our teens.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
Mercedes Benz s500 rentals Salem ..In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More
Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us,... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
Dowagiac cheap limo service ..The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Parenting |