Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky business. Many kids get into some kind of trouble at some point, and, although this can provide them a powerful learning opportunity, taking a "kids will be kids" attitude is downright irresponsible parenting. Good parenting requires us to remember that, even if they look fully grown, they are not. Teenager issues abound, and parents need to be aware of all we can do to keep our teenagers on the straight and narrow. Here are some tips to help you because what you do can make all the difference.
1.) The "basics" count more than anything else. Let your teen know that s/he is loved unconditionally, and s/he won't want to let you down. Not wanting to disappoint parents really is a big deterrent for teenagers.
2.) Let your teenager know what you expect of him. Be specific. Let him know where the boundaries are firm, and where there is room for negotiation. Share your values. Be clear in your communication so there is no room for confusion.
3.) Invest in your relationship. Spend time together having fun. Listen to your teen's thoughts, goals, fears and questions. Show her that you care about what she says, thinks and feels.
4.) Encourage him to develop healthy outside interests. Sports are wonderful, as is participating in music and theatre, clubs?almost any other such activity. Not only does this keep your teenager busy in a productive way, it helps to build his self-esteem. And a healthy sense of self-esteem can keep kids from getting into trouble.
5.) Help your teenager develop responsibilities. A teen with responsibilities will be more mature, more reliable, and have a higher self-esteem than one without responsibility.
6.) Look in the mirror and practice saying "no." You'll know if this applies to you; if you have trouble saying "no," practice. It is a parent's job to say it sometimes; and it may be the most important to do so when it's the hardest, so get prepared.
7.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and [tactfully] verify what s/he's telling you. (see next item) Be plugged in to what's going on in your teen's life. Get your teen used to the fact that you know other parents, and that you will be in touch with them.
8.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen's friends' parents. Probe. Find out if there really is going to be supervision to your satisfaction. Not all parents are as vigilant as others. Offer to help supervise. Offer to send food. Keep it friendly, but be clear.
9.) Be smart about cell phone and internet use. Cell phones can be your friend and help you and your teen stay in touch, but they can also be abused. Teens have been known to be places other than where they say they are, and if the cell phone is the only method of contact, parents can be caught unawares. Have a good sense of what your teen is doing on the internet and consider using some of the blocking methods available.
10. Know the facts about drug and alcohol use and abuse. Your teen needs you to be knowledgeable, otherwise you are unable to help her in this area. Know what is common in your kid's school. Know what the signs are of use and abuse. Do not stick your head in the sand. Be vigilant, informed and smart.
11. Teenagers feel emotions twice as intensely as adults, and this is a developmental fact. Intense emotional responses can impact their behavior, and so parents need to encourage teens to have appropriate outlets for emotional tension. Physical activity is particularly effective.
12. Expect to give up your weekend. Not all the time?but you may not actually have the freedom that you envisioned when they were little. You need to be attentive to keep them safe, and you need to be around and available.
13. Earn your teenager's respect by your good, honorable, ethical and respectable behavior. Your teenager has been learning about adult behavior from you, and she is likely to behave like you. Better give her a great example!
Parents have tremendous influence?don't underestimate the importance of your behavior, because what you do counts ? a lot!
Copyright 2005 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years . She offers resources, information and tips for parents of teenagers and those who work with them. She provides an effective guide for parents and professionals who want to create a parenting discussion group. Visit http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com
Oswego taxi to Midway ..Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
shuttle from Midway Morris ..Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Parenting |