Drug testing

Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism

Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than pessimists.

Helping your child look on the bright side is a significant life skill to develop. When children think that can succeed they are more likely to give things a try. In other word, if they think THEY CAN, THEY WILL.

Optimists look at the flip side of negative events for some good, some hope and some reason to be positive. It means having a strong self-belief and confidence to deal with situations.

Experts in the area of optimism agree that there are five building blocks of optimism:

1. Having a go and persisting
2. Practising skills
3. Coming to terms with success and failure
4. Planning for the future
5. Having the belief and confidence to try again

Importantly, these building blocks link optimism with competence so when children experience success they are more likely to believe that they can achieve and have more success.

Some children are natural optimists. They are born with optimistic temperaments and have natural dispositions to deal with challenges and problems. Others expect the worst and tend to see catastrophes where really small challenges exist.

Recent American research indicates that children learn their optimism from their experiences of success and through their interactions with parents, teachers and significant others in the first eight years of life.

So the way adults talk is significant in the way they shape a child's belief about success or failure. The message is clear that adults need to be aware how they present the world to children as our explanatory style (the way we explain events) is on show.

Optimists explain adverse events in the following ways:

1. Adverse events tend to be temporary: "It takes time to find a friend" rather than "No one likes me."
2. Situations or causes are specific: "I am not so good at soccer" rather than "I am hopeless at sport."
3. Blame is rationalised rather than personalised: "I was grounded because I hurt my sister" rather than "I was grounded because I am a bad kid."

Pessimists have a tendency to build mountains out of molehills and give up before trying. The trouble with pessimism is that it tends to be self-fulfilling prophecy. "I told you I wouldn't get a kick in the game. What was the point of me even turning up?" Such comments just reinforce pessimism and these feelings of hopelessness lead to helplessness.

To promote optimism in your children try the following four strategies:

1. Model positive thinking and optimism. Let your children hear your positive self-talk.
2. Challenge your children's negative or unrealistic appraisals. For instance, "Everyone hates me. I have no friends" can be challenged with "Sometimes it feels like we have no friends but you spent all morning with Melanie yesterday."
3. Teach your child to positively track. Children should look for the good things they do and say them to themselves or out loud. They can look for the good things that happen in life, no matter how small and say them to themselves or out loud.
4. Teach children to positively reframe. When something unpleasant happens or failure occurs they can actively look on the bright side. E.g. "I pranged my bike but at least I came out unhurt" or "That activity didn't work but I know what to do next time."

The beauty about developing optimism is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it such a powerful success strategy.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au. . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

In The News:

The current heatwave in the British Isles has revealed a host of long-hidden historical sites that have suddenly become visible through the parched earth.
Archaeologists in Ireland have uncovered a megalithic tomb containing two burial chambers, complete with elaborate carvings.
A team of scientists made an enormous discovery when they recently uncovered a "quadrillion" tons of diamonds,buried more than 100 miles below Earth's surface, according to a new study.
Doctor Richard Harris was thought to be the one who decided which boy was saved first, but new details have emerged.
Astronomers in Australia are eager for a special celestial alignment this week that could tell them more about one of the most intriguing candidates for hosting life beyond Earth.
Attention, anglers in Pennsylvania: A northern snakehead, also known as “frankenfish,” was found recently in Octoraro Creek in Little Britain Township.
As hurricanes continue to cause greater impact from factors such as climate change, NASA's new hurricane-tracking satellites could be up and running by as early 2019.
Scientists have discovered 12 previously unknown moons orbiting Jupiter, and one of them is a real oddball.
Once again, scientists have shown that Albert Einstein's theory of special relativity is right — this time, thanks to a particle detector buried deep beneath Antarctica.
Scientists searching for sea snakes never expected to stumble across this find.

Develop Your Childs Genius - Developing Leadership Qualities

Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More

Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

Break Free From Power Struggles

You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More

Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun

It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More

Weathering Colic for New Parents

A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More

Uniforms

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

Dads, Give them Household Chores

You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More

Public Schools Can Cripple Your Childrens Ability To Read

For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More

Selecting and Hiring Childcare Employees

In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More

Putting Your Child To Bed

Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More

Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear

Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More

How to Get Your Children Brand Free

Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

Creating a Memorable Travel Journal Using A Stuffed Animal

You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More

Say No to Mealtime Mayhem: Eating Out With Your Baby or Toddler

Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More

Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child

Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More

Violence in Media

In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More

We All Wish That Our Children Have Good Virtues, But... Are We Setting A Good Example Ourselves?

We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More

Your Big Yellow Bus

The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More

I Cant Sleep Without You

When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More

My Stomach Hurts - I Cant Go to School Today!

It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More

Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More

induction lighting versus led led flood light fixtures Pete's produce ..