Drug testing

Should We Apologize To Our Children?

An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes we may believe that if we apologize to our children we weaken ourselves and the rules we are trying to keep. We may also believe it will make our children think their behavior was okay. It is important to understand that this is not the case. I have found myself at times reacting negatively to my daughter's occasional inattention to her daily diabetes care. Not just negatively but loudly. What I discovered was that I could apologize for how I responded to her behavior, without condoning what she did. (Or didn't do) Apologizing in this manner makes it clear that I am not relaxing the rules. It does not undermine my authority or my ability to make the rules and expect compliance. I found it does set a good example and encourages her to be open and apologize when she has done wrong. Apologizing shows empathy for what I may have done to her feelings and respect for her right to be treated fairly.

Apologizing shows that you can admit error without loss of face. It shows that your self-esteem is strong enough to be left intact. It teaches your child to take responsibility and shows them that everyone makes mistakes. And finally it will prove to your child that you both can survive mistakes.

Showing that we have the strength to admit to and survive mistakes helps to encourage our children to have the same strength in their dealings with others. It's important to demonstrate that a relationship can survive errors. Our children need to know that it's possible to make amends and give another person the option to do the same in return. Apologizing lets a person both give and experience forgiveness. If our children grow up with the experience of apology and forgiveness within the family, they will be far better equipped to deal with the relationships they will develop as they grow up. There are few life skills we will ever teach our children that are more important than this.

Different Ways of Apologizing We can apologize by saying it in words, by doing something for our child, or buying something for our child. Don't start yelling at your computer screen, I'll explain the buying part in a minute.

Some of the words we can use:

"I'm sorry I got back later than I said I would."

"I feel awful that I shouted at you this morning."

"It was silly to get so upset about your messy room."

Doing something:

Doing something special with our children can be more powerful than just saying we're sorry. It shows that we really mean it.

Buying something:

Giving our time and attention to our children almost always means more to them than buying them something, but little surprises given along with a verbal apology shows we have given thought to what happened.

When Not to Apologize

There are some dangers in apologizing too much. The problem is not with the apology but with the reason for the frequency. When we find ourselves apologizing too much we might be showing our children our own uncertainty. Our children rely on our certainty about life. They rely on us for guidance. Instead of apologizing if we aren't sure whether we have done the right thing, it might be a good idea to feel sorry but say nothing. We need to use our own judgment to decide how much is too much.

What Happens When We Don't Apologize?

We all remember at some point in our lives when someone was clearly wrong and did not apologize for their behavior. It caused a lot of resentment when we felt we were unfairly treated. Our children have an acute sense of fairness. Resentment grows and eats away at good feelings and a barrier grows between our children and ourselves. We must not allow this. Remember this about apologies; if you want to hear them, you need to give them. Apologies make you feel better about yourself. They are a statement of honesty and wipe the slate clean. And finally, it they are given, make sure you accept them.

About the Author
Russell Turner, USA info@mychildhasdiabetes.com
http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com

Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old diabetic daughter. After she was diagnosed he soon discovered he could find all sorts of medical information on the internet. What he couldn't find was how to prepare his child and family for living with this disease. He started his own website for parents of newly diagnosed diabetic children http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com

In The News:

Extremely rare items from the final years of Marilyn Monroe’s life are up for auction in the U.K. on Saturday.
Officials with the Virginia Wildlife Management and Control on Sunday took to Facebook to share “extremely rare photos” of a two-headed copperhead snake.
Images of a fight between two male deers went viral after the stags locked horns and couldn't unlock them.
Japan’s Hayabusa 2 spacecraft has lowered two small rovers onto an asteroid in an epic mission to study the distant space rock.
Scientists have discovered what happens when you give the party drug MDMA to an octopus, and say the animals surprising reaction has “amazing” implications.
A previously unclassified creature that lived over 500 million years ago, considered the "Holy Grail of paleontology," has finally been identified, thanks to fossil fat.
Medieval legends claim that Pope Joan was the first and only female pope.
There are plenty of challenges to putting people on Mars, whether you look at the rocket, the astronaut or the planet itself.
Archaeologists have unlocked the secrets of an amazing 1,500-year-old altar discovered at a Maya temple deep in the Guatemalan jungle.
Faculty at the University and Richmond are being credited for rescuing nearly 70,000 bees after a tornado Monday took down a tree near the school’s campus.

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More

Raising Kids on a Budget

There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More

Finding A Caregiver You Can Trust

Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More

The Homeopathic Nutraceutical Attend as an Alternative to Ritalin

You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More

Meeting The True Needs of Children Diagnosed As ADHD

How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More

A New School Year

Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More

How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Renee?s Mommy is Here

I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More

A Dads Thoughts On Dads day

21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More

Surprise ? Public School Class Size Doesnt Matter Very Much

School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More

The Theme from MASH - Suicide is Not Painless

The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More

Parenting: The Road I Chose

Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More

His Toy, Her Toy

I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More

Teaching Your Child Safety

Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More

The Long Journey Home

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More

Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use Without Appearing to be Spying

Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More

Ritalin (Methylphenidate) in the Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More

Life Stuck In Fast Forward

the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents

What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More

Homeschooling ? Is It Worth It?

Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More

Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time

It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 7 Tips for Back to School Success

Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More

street lighting system led outdoor lighting fixtures Pete's produce ..