Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower

Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table. In this day of working moms and fast food eating, sitting down together for dinner is sometimes neglected. However, it is often the foundation of family life and should become a treasured tradition.

The dining table functions like a corporate meeting, it is where the parents set the family agenda and model both the attitudes and traditional modes of behavior and decorum. They set the example of pleasing conversation, showing an interest in what the family is doing and experiencing, and see that everyone knows proper table manners.

When you child is very young, still in a high chair, meals may be quite chaotic. Messes are made, food may be thrown, and you may wonder if you will ever get through it.

So, the challenge is: keep your cool and your voice down. Many of us react to our child's gross behavior by shouting at them, and if I ever meet a parent who has never shouted at his child, I will submit his name to the Vatican for canonization! However, we need to set a goal for ourselves to keep control of our reactions. After all we are modeling leadership and if we are shouting and adding to the chaos we will find that this is what our kids are learning from us.

Consistent, firm correction works very well. Save the yelling for a dangerous situation which warrants the emotion. Never forget the fact that you, the parent are the leader of your family, the decision maker, and that your kids don't run the show.

Goals at the table change as your children age. The one goal that should apply throughout their lifetime is that the table is a place for tranquility, relaxation, but also a place for lively conversation. As this is the family gathering place, it can be used as a forum for discussion, the imparting of family values, the building of character, and the learning of ordinary day to day behaviors.

What can you do to set the tone for a gracious meal?

1. Have everyone wash his hands (and face too if needed) before coming to the table.

2. Instruct everyone to wait until every family member is present and then sit down together at the same time. You may want to have them stand behind their chairs till all are assembled.

3. Require proper dress at the table. No bare chests, underwear, or hats. Dressing in an appropriate manner is a sign of respect and is one of the building blocks of teaching your child to be respectful.

4. Begin to teach manners at a very early age. Please, thank you, and excuse me can be firmly in your child's vocabulary by the age of three.

5. Little by little your child will be learning the table etiquette which you model. He probably won't be able to handle his utensils very gracefully until around age 7 or 8, but you can suggest and quietly demonstrate what to do, and not get upset if he can't do it properly. His motor skills may not be developed to the level of your expectations, so just know that time and maturation will cure the problem.

6. Have a definite plan for teaching table manners, but keep it low key. There is nothing more disruptive to a happy meal than a parent fussing at a kid for every little thing they are doing incorrectly. To prevent this, decide that you will model a certain proper eating technique on a certain day of the week, or every other week. You might want to call this "MANNERS NIGHT" and everyone will know that they are going to have specific training on "manners night".

7. There is a very subtle way to correct an unacceptable behavior without having to actually confront and embarrass the wrong doer. This technique will work if you have more than two people at the table. Let's say that Jenny is sitting there running her hands through her hair and twisting it. If you have already taught Jenny to keep her hands in her lap when she is not using a utensil , all you need to do is ask someone else at the table, "Dad, would you please review for us what we do with our hands when we are not eating?" If Dad indicates that we keep our hands in our lap, Jenny's hand will probably be seen descending to her lap. If she doesn't hear Dad because she is daydreaming, a gentle but direct approach may be necessary. Again, we are modeling respect for the feeling of others. This indirect method of correction is very effective when several people are present and know the "rules".

8. Foster interesting conversation. Suggest that the children think of things and make a list of things they would like to talk about when you meet together at the table. If the family is sharing the fun of reading a book together you might even want to read aloud at the end of the meal for the length of a chapter. We tried this with James Hariots's "All Creature Great and Small", and the family not only enjoyed the book, but found much to think and talk about. Make the table a fun and interesting place to be.

Edith King Vosefski, a.k.a."The Etiquette Lady" is Director of the Etiquette School of Northern Illinois. She helps individuals and corporations to understand the protocols and social skills they need in order to achieve the personal and financil success they desire.

Edith was educated at Northwestern University with a B.S. in communication. After graduating from N.U., she married and raised two sons. She later returned to school, earned a master's degree, and spent many years teaching in both public and private schools.

Edith has a passion for good manners, knowing how to present yourself for any occasion,and effective speaking. As a result of this passion it was only natural that she would become the founder of an etiquette school. She took additional training for teaching etiquette at The American School of Protocol.

In addition to her skills of teaching, and public speaking Edith writes a monthly column for the Liberty Press, "Hats Off To Etiquette", and has published two books on children's etiquette.

Alto Pass chicago limos ..
In The News:

A Google DeepMind team has developed an artificial intelligence system that can play video games like a human and take native language commands from players.
Four of the largest school boards in Ontario, Canada have launched lawsuits against TikTok, Meta, and Snapchat, claiming that they have impacted students' thinking and behavior.
Finalists for the inaugural Women’s Prize for Nonfiction, aimed at addressing the gender imbalance in nonfiction publishing, were unveiled on Wednesday.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson breaks down whether the government is watching citizens and what they can do to protect online privacy.
A benchmarking group for artificial intelligence has released new results evaluating the speed of hardware in running AI applications and responding to users.
Sierra Space’s Dream Chaser spaceplane provides a glimpse into the future of space travel. Traveling to space may become a part of everyday life.
The new European Hyperloop Center in the Netherlands aims bring in a new era of transportation. The center will use a steel tube as a proving ground for testing the new vehicle.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
While it may be incredibly tempting to have a “go with the flow" mindset like the rest of your vacation, your technology definitely should not be compromised while traveling.
Have you ever accidentally deleted an app from your iPhone that you’ve already paid for? Don't worry. We’ve got a trick that will help you get it back without having to buy it again.
Apple's new Journal app has raised privacy concerns among Apple's userbase. Tech expert Kim Komando examines social media rumors and explains what steps to take to protect yourself.
Although Facebook has denied that our phones listen to us, they do have other ways of finding out what we are talking about, listening to and searching for.
With the integration of OpenAI technology, Figure 01 has taken a significant leap forward, showcasing the potential of robots to understand and interact with us on a personal level.
Port Ellen, newly reopened whisky distillery in Scotland, is using SmokeDNAi technology to understand mouth-feel and flavors during the whisky maturation process.
Telly, a smart TV firm, is promising to give out their 4K 55-inch TV for free. What must you give in return? The innovative, yet potentially unsettling, answer might shock you.
The moment a spam invite hits your calendar, it’s like an uninvited guest at a party. So, what do you do? Show it the door.
Identity thieves are now targeting children and are making large sums of money by exploiting children's identities, possibly hurting their financial future.
There's a clever way to change the notification sounds on your Android without having to look at your screen. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
If your bank accounted has been hacked, there are a number of steps you can take to prevent it from happening again. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
The Wave House, a data center in Heidelberg, Germany, is the the largest 3D-printed building in Europe. Its walls were built in about 140 hours.
Some government agencies around the world are struggling to meet their staffing goals when it comes to hiring artificial intelligence experts.
Google Maps' recent upgrades have introduced real-time ETA and turn-by-turn directions to your phone's lock screen while you are traveling.
Kat Cammack says AI could disrupt the 2024 election. A report says shared AI image tools generate election disinformation in 41% of cases and voting disinformation in 59% of cases.
Deepfakes have become commonplace, and the technology is only getting better, but there are certain elements that might give away the fact that an image is AI-generated.

Teenagers and What Parents Should Do About Them

Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More

Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?

Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More

On Raising a Child with Disabilities: Sara & the Nail Salon

Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More

You Dont Need a Supernanny to Be an Active Parent

The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More

Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism

Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More

Use Encouragement Instead of Criticism to Help Children Improve

Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More

Are You Frustrated With Public Schools?

Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More

Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use Without Appearing to be Spying

Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More

What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More

Guerilla Parenting Techniques: What Are They?

When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children

How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

Choosing a Daycare or Pre-School ? Top Ten Safety Tips

When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More

How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child

The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More

Top Seven Tips To Become A Good Stepmother

Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More

Motivation - The Key to Your Childs Educational Success

For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend

Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More

Say No to Mealtime Mayhem: Eating Out With Your Baby or Toddler

Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

Stress is No Kiddy Matter

Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More

Developing a Fantastic Relationship with Your Child

Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More

Give Your Child the Gift of Self-Esteem

Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More

10 Signs That Your Teen Is Using Drugs

Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More

Alto Pass cool limo ..