ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude

"I don't know and I don't care."

I've heard those words more than a few times in my office. Sometimes I think "I don't know and I don't care" is the universal teen tribal motto.

So what to do?

I remember working with one kid who said absolutely nothing in the first session but "I don't know and I don't care" at least 10 times each.

So just before he came for his next session, I wrote "I don't know" on one side of a sheet of paper and "I don't care" on the other side. I then taped the piece of paper to the couch I thought he was most likely to sit on.

In comes the kid, cracks up laughing, tapes the paper to his shirt, and then begins to talk for the rest of the meeting.

3 Keys for How to Respond

I tell you the above story because it offers three keys on how to respond to "I don't know and I don't care."

1) Don't buy into what they are saying. It's just a way to try to get you to back off, and/or to see if you care enough to pursue them.

2) You simply must keep your sense of humor. Get hooked and get angry and you are dead in the water.

3) Do something different or unexpected. As parents we can become predictable.

If I can get parents to respond in ways that put a confused look on the face of a teen, I know we are getting somewhere.

A Fun Response

The next time you hear the words "I don't know" respond this way:

"Well, you know what, at your age it's OK not to know a whole lot. But if you did know, what would it be?"

I use this in my office all the time. Nine out of 10 times, the kid will answer and start talking.

One time out of 10 times a teen will respond with

"You are just asking the same question in a different way."

To which I respond

"You know what, you are right! And you have also just shown me how very bright you are, so quit playing dumb and answer the question."

In the face of the universal teen motto, remember:

Don't buy it, keep your sense of humor and don't get hooked.

Respond creatively and differently.

Visit parentingyourteenager.com to subscribe to Jeff Herring's free internet newsletter "Parenting Your Teenager" and the free 5 day e-program on the "5 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teenager."

ohare limo service Grand Rapids ..
In The News:

Scammers are using the power of artificial intelligence to mimic voices of people and are using the fake voices to commit crimes, like kidnappings.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the science behind the Invisibility Shield, a 6-foot shield that makes people become invisible.
The International Olympic Committee on Friday announced plans to use AI in various Olympic aspects, including athlete identification, training and judging.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains an easy trick to avoid squinting while working or surfing the web by zooming in on your personal computer.
Streaming giant Roku has recently been targeted by a pair of cyberattacks, and the company confirmed over a half million Roku accounts were compromised.
The Land Aircraft Carrier combines an all-terrain, six-wheeled vehicle with a two-seat aircraft, which features electric vertical takeoff and landing.
The European Union has sent TikTok a "request for information" on the video sharing platform's newest app, TikTok Lite, under the Digital Services Act, with the aim to clean up social media.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
The FBI is warning the public about a recent phishing scam via text that claims its targets owe money in Pennsylvania for unpaid road toll charges.
Your Apple Music settings may be revealing to your contacts what you're listening to. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the process to change those settings.
Learn how to secure social media accounts, implement legacy contacts, and create a digital estate plan to protect your online assets from 'ghost hackers' after your death.
A ported phone number scam is leading to more people having their identities stolen by sophisticated scammers. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson tells you what you need to know.
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a vast marine debris vortex, is being tackled by The Ocean Cleanup’s innovative technologies. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
Discover easy solutions to tame autocorrect frustration on iOS and Android devices. Turn off, customize and add personal touches to your typing experience.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals the six top things to do right now before it’s too late: Tech and life choices that can keep your safer on and offline.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you some simple steps to discreetly hide apps or an entire app page on your iPhone for decluttering or confidentiality.
The ambient light sensors on smartphones may be turned into cameras, according to researches at MIT. This could pose a threat to people's privacy.
The Autonomous Road Repair System from tech firm Robotiz3d uses artificial intelligence technology to locate potholes and promptly seal them.
Scammers have stooped to using artificial intelligence to scan obituary websites to create fake obituary websites to target the grieving.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
A Mercedes-Benz Manufacturing factory in Hungary is using humanoid robots to help with human staffing shortages on the factory floor.
Some video games act like unregulated banks, according to CFPB, which has begun monitoring the situation. The agency says children may be most at risk.
Ascender the robot is capable of climbing stairs with heights up to 8.7 inches, and it can give every corner of your home a deep cleaning.
Tax-return scams are on the rise, and one tax expert from a cybersecurity firm says filing your taxes on time is one way to avoid tax scams.

Stress is No Kiddy Matter

Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

How To Be A Bad Mother

As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More

5 Ways To Tell If A Preschooler Is Living In Your House

1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

Overscheduled Kids

Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More

Nanny 911 and Disciplining Your Child

Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More

Parenting: Blending Familes - 9 Universal Laws

The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More

Theres a Lollipop on Your Bottom (and Other Terms of Endearment)

"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Blackmail

Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More

Pay Attention! Its Your Most Important Job

Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More

Ready, Aim, Achieve! - Become An On-purpose Family Through Goal Setting

Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions

An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More

Where Will YOUR Kids Get A Job?

Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More

March of the Penguins - A Fun Learnig Tool

Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More

Helping Your Child Develop

Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

PG Rating Isnt What It Used To Be

If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More

The ADD Child: Challenging Parents, Teachers and Friends

The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More

A New Dad To Be? Deer in the headlights?

Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education

I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More

executive chauffeured services Barrington Hills ..