Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and has played an instrument and/or played in band all her life. Now all of a sudden she wants to quit lessons and quit band. Is this normal or a warning sign of something bad? Should we let her quit?

A. There are times when wanting to drop something that has been a big part of your life can indicate a problem in need of immediate attention. If there are any other signs that your daughter might be depressed or using drugs, then you will want to get her two appointments - one with her doctor and one with a family counselor who works with teenagers.

If she's not depressed and/or doing drugs, then dropping an instrument and band may be a decision that she is ready to make. Certainly she is old enough to make that decision, and she may have simply lost interest.

How to End Gracefully

You can tell her that if dropping the instrument and band is something she wants to do, there are two things she needs to do first.

The first is have her write a letter of thanks to the person who taught her the instrument and to the band director, thanking each for their time and effort and sharing what she has learned.

I suggest this for two reasons: It's simply a classy thing to do, and it may re-awaken in her the reasons she got involved in the band.

The second is to tell her she can quit band only after she finds something else to be involved in. It's quite fine to want to quit something, but at her age, it needs to be replaced with something else. This is because one of the strongest needs of kids and teens is to have a sense of belonging. This need is so strong that a teen will get it met some how, either in a positive place or a negative place.

By requiring that she find something else to be a part of, you are helping to make sure she finds a positive place to belong.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his f'ree weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."

Alexis limo rentals ..
In The News:

A Google DeepMind team has developed an artificial intelligence system that can play video games like a human and take native language commands from players.
Four of the largest school boards in Ontario, Canada have launched lawsuits against TikTok, Meta, and Snapchat, claiming that they have impacted students' thinking and behavior.
Finalists for the inaugural Women’s Prize for Nonfiction, aimed at addressing the gender imbalance in nonfiction publishing, were unveiled on Wednesday.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson breaks down whether the government is watching citizens and what they can do to protect online privacy.
A benchmarking group for artificial intelligence has released new results evaluating the speed of hardware in running AI applications and responding to users.
Sierra Space’s Dream Chaser spaceplane provides a glimpse into the future of space travel. Traveling to space may become a part of everyday life.
The new European Hyperloop Center in the Netherlands aims bring in a new era of transportation. The center will use a steel tube as a proving ground for testing the new vehicle.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
While it may be incredibly tempting to have a “go with the flow" mindset like the rest of your vacation, your technology definitely should not be compromised while traveling.
Have you ever accidentally deleted an app from your iPhone that you’ve already paid for? Don't worry. We’ve got a trick that will help you get it back without having to buy it again.
Apple's new Journal app has raised privacy concerns among Apple's userbase. Tech expert Kim Komando examines social media rumors and explains what steps to take to protect yourself.
Although Facebook has denied that our phones listen to us, they do have other ways of finding out what we are talking about, listening to and searching for.
With the integration of OpenAI technology, Figure 01 has taken a significant leap forward, showcasing the potential of robots to understand and interact with us on a personal level.
Port Ellen, newly reopened whisky distillery in Scotland, is using SmokeDNAi technology to understand mouth-feel and flavors during the whisky maturation process.
Telly, a smart TV firm, is promising to give out their 4K 55-inch TV for free. What must you give in return? The innovative, yet potentially unsettling, answer might shock you.
The moment a spam invite hits your calendar, it’s like an uninvited guest at a party. So, what do you do? Show it the door.
Identity thieves are now targeting children and are making large sums of money by exploiting children's identities, possibly hurting their financial future.
There's a clever way to change the notification sounds on your Android without having to look at your screen. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
If your bank accounted has been hacked, there are a number of steps you can take to prevent it from happening again. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
The Wave House, a data center in Heidelberg, Germany, is the the largest 3D-printed building in Europe. Its walls were built in about 140 hours.
Some government agencies around the world are struggling to meet their staffing goals when it comes to hiring artificial intelligence experts.
Google Maps' recent upgrades have introduced real-time ETA and turn-by-turn directions to your phone's lock screen while you are traveling.
Kat Cammack says AI could disrupt the 2024 election. A report says shared AI image tools generate election disinformation in 41% of cases and voting disinformation in 59% of cases.
Deepfakes have become commonplace, and the technology is only getting better, but there are certain elements that might give away the fact that an image is AI-generated.

Three Tips to Get Children with Sleeping Problems Asleep

According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

How to Assist Troubled Teens

What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More

Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?

Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Ease Bug Bites with Easy Herbs

Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More

Lets Read! The Benefits of Reading to Your Children

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More

Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More

Now, They?re Bullying My Daughter in Our Home: Welcome to Cyber-bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More

Time To Connect With Your Teen

While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to End the Curfew Battle

Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More

8 Tips To Save On Child Care Costs

Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More

My Teenaged Parents

Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More

The Secret of Understanding Children

It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More

Ten Helpful Little Tips For New Parents

The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More

EEG Biofeedback Training as a Treatment Option for ADHD

The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More

Parenting - Give Your Child The Tools To Build Strong Character And Values

There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More

Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?

Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More

5 Great Tips For Choosing Safe Toys For Your Children

Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More

Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary

After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More

What About ADHD Teens and Driving?

This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More

car service from Midway Alsip ..