Drug testing

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:

"How can all this teen violence be happening?"

My questions are:

"How could this not be happening"

and

"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"

Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:

1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence.

2) kids have more and more easy access to weapons that can maim and kill

3) more and more kids get no moral education, and walk around with an underdeveloped conscious at best, and at worst, no conscious at all.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a psychologist to get it that these three ingredients alone are a prescription for disaster.

Warning signs

No one really knows exactly why one kid will snap and another one won't. At the same time, here a few warning signs for parents and others to watch for:

a history and enjoyment of violent behavior

an inability to feel and/or show remorse

excessive fascination with violent video games and movies

easy access to weapons

little or no parental/adult supervision

little or no impulse control

recent rejections, disappointments or loss of hope

violent and/or suicidal thoughts, threats or other speech

the loss of someone close, either through death, a move, or a break up

a friend or someone they look up to taking a recent violent action

Again, it's important to remember that kid A could have most or all of these signs and become violent, while kid B could have the same signs and not go off. The most important question to answer, I believe, is what can we do to prevent this kind of stuff in our kids.

Here are a few suggestions:

Know your kid's world. I realize every parent thinks they know the world of their kid, but do you really? Do you know what kind of lyrics and music is going into their brains all day? Have you looked at the lyrics? Do you know what games they play, what movies they watch? Are you sure? The reason I am so adamant about this is I believe that if enough parents really knew what was going on out there, the stuff I hear every day, there would be some type of revolution.

In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, "teach your children well." Teach them:

when someone is beaten up or severely hurt, it takes a long time to heal, physically and emotionally

when someone is killed, they are gone, do not come back, and people grieve their loss

if you get hit like guys get hit on TV wrestling, you don't get up, you go to the hospital

how to problem solve without violence

what to do with the anger and rage we all experience.

And last but not least, run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of Stephen Glenn's book "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World." In it you will find the results of Glenn's research into the problems of youth, the Significant Seven Factors that separate high risk kids from low risk kids and how to encourage them in your family.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

A young American sailor’s journal detailing his harrowing experiences during the Revolutionary War has been donated to the Museum of the American Revolution in Philadelphia.
Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered an extremely rare marble head depicting the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
The most-viewed eclipse in history had an unexpected witness: A Google Street View car drove right to the edge of totality, offering a surprising celestial treat for visitors scoping out the event in Maryland Heights, Missouri.
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Construction workers in Iran may have unearthed the mummified remains of Reza Shah Pahlavi, the father of the country's last monarch, nearly four decades after the Islamic Revolution toppled the dynasty.
A Florida fisherman recently caught a 120-pound blue catfish in the state’s panhandle.
Sex-mad monkeys have been bonking off with other species, creating an entirely new hybrid population of apes - and scientists are absolutely fine with it.
A museum in Buffalo, N.Y., recently discovered that a rare elephant bird egg in its collection had been mislabeled as a model for decades.
A 7-month-old female giraffe at an Indiana zoo briefly escaped her enclosure on Monday.
The smell was overwhelming as Madagascar police and wildlife officials pulled up to a two-story home in Toliara.
A 10-foot alligator that took a stroll near a middle school in Florida stopped traffic in Deltona, according to a local news report.

Peer Pressure - Five Ways to Help Teenagers Beat Peer Influence

Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More

Top 10 Ways to Motivate Your Student

As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More

Building Self Confidence

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More

ADHD: Dialogue with a Non-Believer, Part Four

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Learning my Childs Way

Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to... Read More

The Secret To Keeping Kids Interested on Family Vacations

Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More

Things To Teach Your Teenage Driver

Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More

How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Navigating in the New World: Parents and Teenagers Growing Together

One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More

How Do Campers Protect Their Children?

Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More

Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood

Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More

Spelling Games

The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More

Are Public Schools Anti-Parent?

Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More

How to Make a Time Capsule

Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More

How Is Peaceful Parenting? Different?

Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More

Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing

You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More

Raising Happy Diabetic Kids Part III Help Your Child Develop Self-Control

This is the third and final article in a series... Read More

Toxic Chemicals, Are Your Children Being Exposed?

You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More

Clean Your House Green for your Children?s Sake

My thirteen-year-old daughter recently called me up to say she... Read More

Income that PAYS Your Child Support WITHOUT Increasing Your Child Support

Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More

Two Means Trouble

You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More

Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act

The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More

How To Develop Your Babys Brain

Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More

Hiking with Children

There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More

led parking lot light fixtures led street lighting fixtures Pete's produce ..