I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:
"How can all this teen violence be happening?"
My questions are:
"How could this not be happening"
and
"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"
Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:
1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence.
2) kids have more and more easy access to weapons that can maim and kill
3) more and more kids get no moral education, and walk around with an underdeveloped conscious at best, and at worst, no conscious at all.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a psychologist to get it that these three ingredients alone are a prescription for disaster.
Warning signs
No one really knows exactly why one kid will snap and another one won't. At the same time, here a few warning signs for parents and others to watch for:
a history and enjoyment of violent behavior
an inability to feel and/or show remorse
excessive fascination with violent video games and movies
easy access to weapons
little or no parental/adult supervision
little or no impulse control
recent rejections, disappointments or loss of hope
violent and/or suicidal thoughts, threats or other speech
the loss of someone close, either through death, a move, or a break up
a friend or someone they look up to taking a recent violent action
Again, it's important to remember that kid A could have most or all of these signs and become violent, while kid B could have the same signs and not go off. The most important question to answer, I believe, is what can we do to prevent this kind of stuff in our kids.
Here are a few suggestions:
Know your kid's world. I realize every parent thinks they know the world of their kid, but do you really? Do you know what kind of lyrics and music is going into their brains all day? Have you looked at the lyrics? Do you know what games they play, what movies they watch? Are you sure? The reason I am so adamant about this is I believe that if enough parents really knew what was going on out there, the stuff I hear every day, there would be some type of revolution.
In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, "teach your children well." Teach them:
when someone is beaten up or severely hurt, it takes a long time to heal, physically and emotionally
when someone is killed, they are gone, do not come back, and people grieve their loss
if you get hit like guys get hit on TV wrestling, you don't get up, you go to the hospital
how to problem solve without violence
what to do with the anger and rage we all experience.
And last but not least, run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of Stephen Glenn's book "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World." In it you will find the results of Glenn's research into the problems of youth, the Significant Seven Factors that separate high risk kids from low risk kids and how to encourage them in your family.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
taxi o'hare Wisconsin Dells ..In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
bmw rental chicago Ackley ..Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More
A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
Parenting |