Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs and pesters until we give in. I know it's wrong to give in, but she makes things so unpleasant that we give in just to make peace. How can we turn this situation around?
A: You have a problem. Your daughter knows that your nos are not to be taken seriously. When you say "no" and then give in to the inevitable hassling and begging that follows, you teach your daughter that "no" does not mean "no."
She has learned that no really means
"I just haven't bugged and hassled and manipulated and pressured my parents enough to get to yes, so I now need to do more."
And every child I have ever known is more than up to that task.
It is possible to turn this situation around; you just have to be willing to commit to see this through to the end, because you are in for a battle.
Preparing to say NO
As you begin to say "no," your daughter is going to respond with a flood of what's called "change back behavior." She has had it made for a while now, and she is not going to give this up easily.
There is a very important reason I stress seeing this through to the end.
If you begin to say "no," hold your ground longer than before, and then give in, you have made the situation even worse than before.
So count the cost before you begin, agree together to say "no," stand your ground, and batten down the hatches.
This is going to take a while.
While you are saying "no," it's useful to consider together what things to which you can say "yes." A "yes" here and there, when appropriate, go a long way to strengthening your "no."
Eventually, your daughter will learn that your yes is yes and your no is no.
For more tips and tools for parenting your teenager, visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's parentingyourteenager.com
Alexis limo rentals ..A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
car service from Midway Alsip ..Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Parenting |