Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our 16-year-old son so far. Now all of a sudden, there is a huge battle about curfew. He wants to stay out later and later, and we don't think he is ready. How do we set appropriate curfew in our house?
A. Here are a few basic principles on which you and your teen can build:
*Curfew is for the convenience of the parents, not the teens. Parents want to know what time their teens will be home so the parents can sleep when they need to. Be careful not to get this principle turned around the wrong way.
*There should be a later curfew on the weekend than on weeknights.
*One or more evenings should be family nights when everyone is home.
*Sunday nights are not weekend nights, they are school nights.
A Curfew Program You Both Can Handle
Here's how to set up a curfew program that you can live with.
Pick a beginning curfew. Let's say 11 p.m., for example.
Of course, your son will want it to be later. Tell him there is a way to get there and you are going to provide him with a map.
If he honors the 11 p.m. curfew for four months, then he will have earned an additional 15 minutes added to his curfew.
If at any time during the four-month period he comes in late, then the earning period starts all over again the next day.
Choose times and time periods that fit for your family and situation.
The nice thing about this curfew system is that it puts the parents clearly in charge, gives the teen something to work toward, and provides both the parents and the teen clear markers of progress.
Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his f'ree weekly internet newsletter "ParenitngYourTeenager."
shuttle from Midway Glen Ellyn ..Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
shuttle from O'Hare North Chicago ..Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Parenting |