Drug testing

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:

My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother is 2 1/2. From the time his brother was born, until now, he has been loving, giving, and caring. Like all siblings sharing has not always come as easy. In the last few weeks he has made comments that I pay more attention to his brother. I have evaluated it and even though my husband and I think he is wrong...I have tried to spend more one on one time with him. He has become very quiet, withdrawn, and when ever we ask what is wrong he has a sad look and just shrugs and says nothing. The other day I heard him playing and he was dialoging that a toy needed to be sad to get attention and that that toy had just had a baby brother. He treats his brother as well as ever and he truly loves him and I just find it hard to believe that after 2 1/2 years that he is really insecure about his brothers attention getting. Is this just a way to manipulate me into paying more attention, a phase, a way of growing emotionally or what????Help please. I have prayed about it and hopefully you are the answer God has given me.

Lisa

Response

Sounds like lots of good old fashion sibling stuff going on. Nothing you mentioned is out of the norm. I found myself focusing in more on you than on what your son is going through. This is what I heard:

1. You gave your son the benefit of the doubt and discussed whether you give your other son more attention.

2. You have been willing to spend more one on one time with your older son in response to what he is presenting you with.

3. You are attentive to aspects of his play.

All good signs of an intuned, related, reflective and responsive parent. This is what your children need more than anything to grow into emotionally healthy adults.

Not to say that this is a non-issue. Help your son continue to put his feelings into words and use play as a forum for processing his experience of the world. Give him reassurance that you have enough love for both of them. Explain to him that young children sometimes need more help from grown-ups as they cannot do some of the things that "big boys" can do.

Lastly, when there is such an age difference between children, sometimes such feelings can emerge if one child begins school while the younger child get to "reap the rewards" of being home with Mommy. This then becomes one of the issues to include in your chats with your son.

Best wishes and many peaceful blessings!!!

Response by David E. Smith, CSW- Resident therapist

About The Author

"Parenting Predicaments" is a forum on the Alternative Parenting web-site where parents can submit their concerns on their child's behavior and development. Visit the site that is dedicated to living naturally at http://www.AlternativeParenting.com.

AlternativeParenting.com

In The News:

Researchers from Monterey bay Aquarium and Stanford University discovered an area the size of Colorado between California and Hawaii that appears to be a “White Shark Café,” but it is unclear if the sharks are there for food or sex.
Tech billionaire Elon Musk has had a big week, and it’s only Tuesday.
A New Zealand family stumbled upon a massive jelly-like blob on a beach early Monday.
A bizarre pulsar emanating from a nearby neutron star, RX J0806.4-4123, is giving off a strange light and scientists are unclear what is causing it.
Canadian firefighters caught a rare, terrifying phenomenon on video last month when a 200-foot-tall fire tornado sucked their firehose into the sky and melted it.
NASA has unveiled the first images from its Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite (TESS), its $337 million alien-planet hunting satellite and the results are nothing short of incredible.
Long extinct cave lions may be about to rise from their icy graves and prowl once more alongside woolly mammoths and ancient horses in a real life Jurassic Park.
A North Carolina firefighter thought he saw an alligator in the flood waters after Hurricane Florence.
The European Southern Observatory's (ESO) Very Large Telescope (VLT) in Chile has a busy observation schedule, but sometimes cloudy or moonlit skies mean a temporary halt to scientific measurements. During those times, the observatory team chooses interesting and beautiful objects across the southern skies to image in color.
Tourists on a whale cruise were treated with a spyhop last month when three humpback whales launched one-by-one in succession off the coast of Nova Scotia in a rare triple breach.

Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children

How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More

Parents and Children Working Together

When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More

Parents of Teens: Do You Ever Ask WHY is she so MEAN to me?

Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More

Bad Boys/Good Boys (Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad)

I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More

Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More

Parenting - The Irrational Vocation

There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance... Read More

How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games -- A Guide for Parents and Teachers

A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More

Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids

In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More

Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?

Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More

From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad

While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More

Pregnancy and Excercising - 6 Reasons to Excercise During Pregnancy

Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More

How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students

Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More

Time Out for Adults

"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

Using Cloth Nappies

We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More

Invented Spelling --- Another Alice-in-Wonderland Public-School Theory

As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More

Teach Your Kids to Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs in the Future

We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More

Meet The Twixters!

There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More

How to Make Kids More Likeable?

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More

The Three Best Alternative Treatments for ADHD

There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More

Parenting Skills - Five Ways To Turbo-Boost Your Confidence

The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More

street light lamps street light photocell Pete's produce ..