Drug testing

Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.

I'd been interested in gliding, or soaring as it's known in the USA, for some time - and now the big day had arrived.

As I approached the airfield the words of some 'friends' came back to haunt me. 'Going up in a sailplane without an engine? You must be mad! How these things stay up there in empty space is beyond me!'

After a lesson or two on the principles of flight, it was time to take to the air. And I needn't have worried about 'empty space' . . .

If ever there was a case of things not being as they seemed, this was it.

Empty space? You must be joking!

Five minutes in a glider (or sailplane) teaches you that it's anything but 'empty space' up there.

I was amazed at the buffeting and whipping of the air currents and the sheer power of the thermals as they pushed the plane upward, like a giant hand from below.

The question soon changed from 'How are we going to stay up?' to 'How on earth are we going to get down?'

But it's all about manipulation of the control surfaces on the plane, and soon we glided to a smooth and safe landing.

Often in life, perhaps even more so in parenting, things are not as they seem.

Here's a common scenario. A parent has been reading up on positive thinking, self-development, parenting skills or such like.

They feel good and are dutifully putting everything into practice.

Then out of the blue - WHUMP! There's a major confrontation with one of our teens that leaves us drained, bedraggled and crawling off in search of a corner where we can lick our emotional wounds.

The steely glint of failure mocks our efforts.

But wait! All is not as it seems . . .

In recent years we've come to realise that every situation has potential for good AND bad. Some call it the Law Of Opposites.

Let's illustrate it with another example. Say you make a sacrifice and give money to the poor.

That's good. It helps them get on their feet, and generosity is good for your personal development.

So what could possibly be 'bad' in that situation?

It's POSSIBLE that giving so 'generously' could make you feel smug and 'superior'. It could lead to a 'Holier than thou!' attitude. And the receiver could eventually become dependent on hand-outs from others.

Not good!

So let's get back to that volcanic blow-up with our teens!

No possibility for good there? Think again.

Lick the wounds by all means, but rest assured that every situation has a lesson for us.

All we have to do is open ourselves to the possibility.

So when we retreat, let's ask ourselves some questions and be brutally honest in our appraisal:

* In that situation did I keep my cool?
* Was I positive in my attitude?
* What kind of language did I use?
* Did I come over as patronizing, sarcastic, impatient, intolerant, 'superior', huffy?
* Or was I supportive, patient, tolerant, mature, assertive, helpful, confident?
* Was my approach reasonable or in some way self-serving?

In short, was I modelling the type of behaviour I would want them to adopt?

If the answer is yes, then you can feel strong and confident, knowing that any sanctions you apply are just and reasonable.

If the answer is no, what can you learn from this?

Use this opportunity to strengthen and develop yourself, and prepare to handle it better next time.

In your path toward parenting progress, then, all may not be as it seems.

Apparent failures - especially when we thought we were making it! - can be opportunities to take our progress to the next level.

Remember the people who couldn't understand how a glider stayed in the air without an engine? Just because they couldn't SEE the ridges of air pressure or the thermals which push the plane upward, doesn't mean they weren't there.

In the same way, situations that may APPEAR to bring us down can in fact be the very 'thermals' (which are hot air!) to push us upward to the next level - if we let them.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages: http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.ht ml AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html

In The News:

An international team of scientists has unraveled the mystery behind the sudden deaths of 200,000 antelopes in Kazakhstan in May 2015.
A "potentially hazardous asteroid" known as 2002 AJ129 is set to fly by Earth at a whopping 67,000 miles per hour next month, there is no need to worry, scientists say.
NASA tested its powerful RS-25 engine for the first time in 2018 with a new part that was made in an unconventional way.
WASHINGTON (AP) — Earth last year wasn't quite as hot as 2016's record-shattering mark, but it ranked second or third, depending on who was counting.
Authorities in Tennessee got an unexpected surprise when they responded to a burglary alarm at a cell phone store.
Divers in the blue waters around the Yucatán Peninsula have discovered three historic treasures: a sunken lighthouse and the remains of an 18th-century Dutch warship and a 19th-century British steamer, according to Mexico's National Institute of Anthropology and History (INAH).
An alligator and a Burmese python were locked in a cold-blooded battle to the death as a crowd watched in shock at a golf course in Naples, Fla.
A team of experts in Mexico has discovered two linked underwater caverns that are more than 4,000 years old and form the largest known such cave on earth.
CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP) — How does a bighorn sheep say "cheese?"
Our solar system may be an oddball in the universe.

The Post-Holiday Blues In Stepfamilies

In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More

The Best Gifts Ever: Life Experiences Every Child Should Have

This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More

My Children

I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More

Parents --- Your Childrens Report Card May Be Rigged

Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More

A Chance for a Home

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More

Selecting A Quality Day Care Center

Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More

Family Meetings Are Now On The Agenda

"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More

In Defense of the Jelly Bean

Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More

Playground Pettiness

Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More

How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Do Math

Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More

Guide To Choosing Educational Toys For Children

In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More

Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer

Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More

What You Can Learn About Life From Your Children

You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More

Why Me?

Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More

Parents Complaints --- Arrogant Public Schools Turn a Deaf Ear

School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More

Are You Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child?

Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More

Its a Sick World

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More

Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips

My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More

How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader

Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More

Are Public Schools Anti-Parent?

Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More

street light manufacturer led light facts Pete's produce ..