Drug testing

Mutants or Clones?

In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded with themes of mutants, cyborgs, evolving and the digital world. These words intimidated me at first, until I learned what the shows were talking about. I wondered how this prepares children for living in the 21st century. The answer hit me when I came across the saying, "Don't Clone...Mutate."

For those not familiar with the new language, a few definitions are in order. A clone is an exact replica of the original source. Clones are trained to mindlessly conform. Success and failure are based on how well the clone conforms rather than on the clone's accomplishments and abilities. A mutant is someone or something that has changed from the original source. Mutants are evaluated on their abilities and accomplishments.

In raising children, some parents behave as if training clones. There are some ways to tell if one is raising clones.

  • Children are expected to engage in sports and activities just because their parents did.

  • Children are expected to have the same taste in music as their parents.

  • Phrases like "it's my way or the highway" are frequently heard.

  • Teens are steered toward specific vocations because that is what their parents did.

  • Personal needs and preferences of family members are set aside to 'keep the peace.'

  • Children report feeling 'invisible 'or 'like a robot.'

  • Children are viewed as smaller versions of the parents.

  • Problems within the family are never solved, but rather avoided. In some cases, there are no new problems, but the same one occurring over and over again.

  • Children's efforts at independence are met with predictions of catastrophe.

The way to stop 'cloning' is to train children to mutate. 'To mutate' means to be able to adjust to change, to be flexible or resilient, to become an individual. Some of the steps parents can take to 'individuate' or 'mutate' are:

  • Encourage children to try 'new' things. This could be new sports, food, books or adventures.

  • Encourage your child in developing a hobby of their choice. Show an interest in developing the hobby. Don't just pay it lip service, find out about the hobby. From my sons, I have developed my knowledge of baseball, sharks, trains, and wildlife that I would not otherwise have.

  • Allow your child to make choices appropriate for their age.

  • Practice working through problems rather than imposing solutions.

  • Use the question "What other solutions could there be to this problem?"

  • Confront setbacks with "Failure is something you do, not who you are."

Raising children to change and adapt to change is threatening to some parents, because it emphasizes responsibility rather than control. Adapting to changes means taking the risk of 'letting go' of some of the control. I often use the metaphor that it is easier to steer a car in motion, than one sitting still. Likewise, it is easier to direct your children when they are trying new things, than when they are behaving like a robot.

About The Author

Jeffrey D. Murrah is The Results-Oriented Therapist specializing in marriage and family conflicts. Visit www.RestoreTheFamily.com to sign up for his free newsletter.

jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com

In The News:

A 1491 map that likely influenced Christopher Columbus's conception of world geography is getting a new lease on life, now that researchers have revealed its faded, hidden details with cutting-edge technology.
Museums in Western Europe are starting to reevaluate how to deal with certain colonial-era artifacts added to their expansive collections over the years -- despite being stolen or plundered.
This summer’s very hot temperatures is prompting an exponential increase in bed bug infestations in the United Kingdom, according to experts.
A basking shark’s enormous silhouette, rarely seen in oceans worldwide, is a major draw for scientists who are mapping its often mysterious migrations.
Days after a 61-year-old man suffered a shark bite in Massachusetts, the beach on Cape Cod where the attack occurred was “closed” off to swimmers for the foreseeable future “due to continued shark activity,” the town announced Friday.
A shocking video shows a great white shark proudly carrying around its latest victim — a dolphin — when suddenly an even bigger great white swoops in to steal the meal straight from its mouth.
A North Carolina couple taking a walk on Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina on Tuesday came across a rare, prehistoric find: a megalodon tooth.
A host of historic artifacts, including a lock of Napoleon’s hair, will be up for auction in the U.K. on Saturday.
Scientists at MIT have discovered a galaxy cluster that they say is “hiding in plain sight.”
The megalodon, which went extinct millions of years ago, was the largest shark ever documented and one of the largest fish on record. The scientific name, Carcharocles megalodon, means "giant tooth." And for good reason: Its massive teeth give scientists major clues about what the creature was like and when it died off.

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More

Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More!

Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More

EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More

Public School Sex-Education Classes --- Bad News For Parents and Children

One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More

Developing a Fantastic Relationship with Your Child

Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More

Whine Oh Whine Am I The Only One?

I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More

Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It

There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More

Ultimate Airplane Themed Games & Activities for your Childs Birthday Party

Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More

What Are Reasonable Expectations of a Child?

To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther

When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More

Naming Your Baby Is Part of The Challenge of Being a Parent

Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

Entering Their Imaginative World

In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More

Couch Potatoes Beware!

It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

So You Want to Adopt?

Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More

How to Cope With Colic

When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

School Days - Top 10 Tips for Establishing a Good Routine

Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Late vs. Too Late, and 5 More Sure Fire Tips

Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More

Will My Child Ever Out-grow His Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More

A Chance for a Home

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More

induction grow lights dimmable led light bulb Pete's produce ..