There is a new stage of development for parents to consider.
The stages of development are roughly the following: children move from infancy, to early childhood and onwards to middle childhood. These stages take roughly the first ten or so years of life. Our children then move into a long stage known as adolescence (with a number three sub-stages) that is a transition phase into adulthood. That's it, right?
No, it seems that we have another phase that links adolescence with adulthood. The twenty-first birthday used to signify a move into adulthood and all its accompanying privileges and responsibilities. Now the years from 18 until 25 and beyond seem to have become a distinct stage of life, where young people seem to have lodged for a while, staving off the responsibilities of full adulthood. This phase has been dubbed the Twixter stage.
This group has been on the radar for some years but it seems only now that they are reaching significant status of a sub-culture. They have been variously dubbed 'permakids', 'boomerang kids' and 'adultescence'. Their babyboomer parents don't want to grow old ? they don't want to grow up.
Twixters have put many of the traditional markers of adulthood on hold ? home ownership, marriage and children, if they have them, have been delayed until well into their 30's. Entering the workforce later than previous generations and knowing they will live into their eighties this group has plenty of time to play.
This group can afford to take their time to grow up as they have the luxury of having relatively affluent, cashed-up parents who act as a safety net or a financial back-up in times of need. Oh, and a large number of them still live at home.
It is not as if living at home presents any significant hardship to Twixters. Both parents and twixters hold each other in high regard and maybe both groups gain significant benefits from living with each other longer, rather than having young people flee the nest at the first opportunity.
A recent US Gallup poll found that 90 per cent of young people report being very close to their parents, which contrasts with 40 per cent of babyboomers in 1974 who said that they would be better off without their parents. Twixters and their parents get on with each other.
If young people are delaying partnering and beginning their own families then they are seeking and support networks elsewhere. This is where friends and family of origin play an important role.
Twixters have a special gift for friendships and their culture revolves around strong friendship groups. The American sitcom Friends and its Australian counterpart The Secret Life of Us! showed how friends are a type of surrogate family for twentysomethings ? where you go to for emotional support and acceptance.
The point is Twixters will not go away. Biologically, it seems that the human brain is still developing well into the 20's so a young person's neurological development at 18 is still a many years from being complete.
There is little doubt that adulthood is delayed in a communal sense. One survey recently found that most people believe that the transition to adulthood should be completed by the age of 26, on average and the number is going up.
So, if your eldest is a toddler then you had better make sure you get on because he or she will be around for a couple of decades yet. It may be a scary thought! It certainly challenges us all to rethink the way we parent young people, rethink the notion of adolescence itself and its transitions and rethink how we organise our personal lives to accommodate the demands of these Peter Pans.
For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe
Michael Grose ? http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers
Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year
Alexis limo rentals ..The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
car service from Midway Alsip ..Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
Parenting |