Marriage, Divorce, and Kids

Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this country?

It's been said that one of the reasons for the high rate of divorce in this country is the manner in which men choose their wives. Specifically, they choose their wives in a fashion similar to how they choose their next car.

They get the best-looking one available, and hope there's not much maintenance down the road.

While this may occasionally be true, there are also practices that married couples need to follow to avoid adding to a divorce rate hovering around 50%. These practices are important for the success of your marriage, and they're also essential for the well-being of your children.

In Maggie Gallagher's book, "The Abolition of Marriage," she states that, "Half of all children will witness the breakup of a parent's marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent's second marriage."

Can we possibly continue with a system in which half of our children witness the breakup of their parent's marriage? Is a divorce rate near 50% enough to have us consider new ideas about how we decide about marriage and divorce?

One idea we might consider is educating young people about the qualities of a successful marriage. The best way to do this is to model these qualities for your children. In addition, we can talk to them about the specific qualities and actions which make a marriage successful.

Here are some of those qualities:

1. Commitment-According to one definition, "Commitment is a freely chosen inner resolve to follow through with a course even though difficulty arises. How do we show our children what to do when difficulty arises? Do we move to where the grass is greener? Commitment is a daily discipline. It's the chat after dinner, and the kiss before work. It's the core from which we respond to difficulty. It's what makes our lives richer and deeper.

2. Emotional Awareness-If we know what's really bothering us, we can have effective and meaningful conversations with our spouse. We can be genuine, honest, and open with each other. And we can discover that much of the pain we feel in our relationship is actually our past emotional history coming back to haunt us.

If you're planning on getting married someday, you need to be aware of what your emotional issues are. If you're not aware of them, you're a great candidate to add to a divorce rate that's already staggering.

3. Be Kind, Not Right-We tend to have a tremendous stake in showing our loved ones that we're right. An enormous amount of time is wasted in our relationships by arguing over who's right or wrong. This excessive arguing is just an indication of our low self-esteem. A much easier and more effective way to be in a relationship is to commit to kindness. When you're kind, you don't need to be right. And it's so much easier for others to be with you!

There certainly are divorces that are respectful of children, and many may be "justifiable." But the number of divorces that damage children's lives' is mind-blowing. And the trail behind them is strewn with actions and decisions that reek of childish self-interest.

It's time for couples to grow up. It's time to stop looking to "get your needs met" in your relationship, and to start looking to meet the needs of your family. It's time to stop running away when things get difficult, and to start persevering through the pain.

And most importantly, it's time to see the real impact of divorce on children.

Because the cost of not doing these things is beyond measure.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com or email him at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.

Alexis limo rentals ..
In The News:

A Google DeepMind team has developed an artificial intelligence system that can play video games like a human and take native language commands from players.
Four of the largest school boards in Ontario, Canada have launched lawsuits against TikTok, Meta, and Snapchat, claiming that they have impacted students' thinking and behavior.
Finalists for the inaugural Women’s Prize for Nonfiction, aimed at addressing the gender imbalance in nonfiction publishing, were unveiled on Wednesday.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson breaks down whether the government is watching citizens and what they can do to protect online privacy.
A benchmarking group for artificial intelligence has released new results evaluating the speed of hardware in running AI applications and responding to users.
Sierra Space’s Dream Chaser spaceplane provides a glimpse into the future of space travel. Traveling to space may become a part of everyday life.
The new European Hyperloop Center in the Netherlands aims bring in a new era of transportation. The center will use a steel tube as a proving ground for testing the new vehicle.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
While it may be incredibly tempting to have a “go with the flow" mindset like the rest of your vacation, your technology definitely should not be compromised while traveling.
Have you ever accidentally deleted an app from your iPhone that you’ve already paid for? Don't worry. We’ve got a trick that will help you get it back without having to buy it again.
Apple's new Journal app has raised privacy concerns among Apple's userbase. Tech expert Kim Komando examines social media rumors and explains what steps to take to protect yourself.
Although Facebook has denied that our phones listen to us, they do have other ways of finding out what we are talking about, listening to and searching for.
With the integration of OpenAI technology, Figure 01 has taken a significant leap forward, showcasing the potential of robots to understand and interact with us on a personal level.
Port Ellen, newly reopened whisky distillery in Scotland, is using SmokeDNAi technology to understand mouth-feel and flavors during the whisky maturation process.
Telly, a smart TV firm, is promising to give out their 4K 55-inch TV for free. What must you give in return? The innovative, yet potentially unsettling, answer might shock you.
The moment a spam invite hits your calendar, it’s like an uninvited guest at a party. So, what do you do? Show it the door.
Identity thieves are now targeting children and are making large sums of money by exploiting children's identities, possibly hurting their financial future.
There's a clever way to change the notification sounds on your Android without having to look at your screen. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
If your bank accounted has been hacked, there are a number of steps you can take to prevent it from happening again. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
The Wave House, a data center in Heidelberg, Germany, is the the largest 3D-printed building in Europe. Its walls were built in about 140 hours.
Some government agencies around the world are struggling to meet their staffing goals when it comes to hiring artificial intelligence experts.
Google Maps' recent upgrades have introduced real-time ETA and turn-by-turn directions to your phone's lock screen while you are traveling.
Kat Cammack says AI could disrupt the 2024 election. A report says shared AI image tools generate election disinformation in 41% of cases and voting disinformation in 59% of cases.
Deepfakes have become commonplace, and the technology is only getting better, but there are certain elements that might give away the fact that an image is AI-generated.

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

Overscheduled Kids

Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More

Who Are You When the Professional In You Meets Baby?

Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More

What a Parent Must Do to Stop Online Predators

Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school,... Read More

The Scientific Breakthrough That Allows Every Couple To Choose The Gender Of Their Baby

The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More

Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children

Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More

Eco-Parenting

Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More

Time To Connect With Your Teen

While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More

Tackle, Tackle

I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More

The Safest Stuffed Toys for the Kids on your Gift List

Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More

Disciplining the Wild Child

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More

My Husband Prioritizes Making Money Above Family Time

"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More

Books Around the House Make A Difference in Literacy Rates

We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More

Saying No To Our Children

Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More

Marriage, Divorce, and Kids

Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More

Nothing Like a Mothers Love

Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More

How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child

The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More

How to Prepare for Labor

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More

Old Wives Tales and Other Things That Just Might Help with ADHD

Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More

Who Are Your Kids Talking To Online?

Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More

Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More

Is Your Discipline Damaging the Spirit of the Child?

If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

car service from Midway Alsip ..