When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the focus of my attention throughout the entire day and I live to make sure he is alright. I made sure his food contained just the right amount of nutrients, helped stimulated him with playtime, read to him, slept with him.
You see, offering cuddles and hugs is not the usual reward or privilege we got when me and my siblings were kids. Infact, it was quite unheard of. Sure, we had the usual dosages of "Good girl" and a hug but me and my parents never hugged as much as I hug with my kid. We can even go into a hug-athon when we want to. Hugging, kissing, hugging, kissing, hugging....etc.
Sleeping with my child came naturally to me and my husband. It felt so good to hold his hand or drape a careless arm over his tummy while we slumber. It's so comfortable and proves to be a suitable and close-to-perfect setting for us.
Sure, I was warned about not being able to make him sleep in his own bed later on and stuffs but my need to sleep with my child supercedes those warning. I didn't mind getting kicked in the face once too many times in the night. I didn't mind getting jumped on in the morning.
Now, the problem is not my son. It's me. My son can sleep perfectly fine without me. It's me who can't sleep without him beside me! I know, I am so terrible at this. I need to feel that he is near me in order to even have a short shut-eye.
Now who's dependent on whom?
I tried placing him on our bed, lulling him to sleep and then moving him onto the crib before I sleep. Didn't work cause NOW I CAN'T sleep. I'd make a very calculated guess that my husband feels the same way about the sleeping arrangement although I would say he feels a little less committed to the approach. He sure could sleep when he needed to. But of course, I have been the one who had to consistently put the child to bed and I have gotten accustomed to the feeling of that little body and those tiny fingers intertwined with mine.
A little basics here for sleeping with a baby nearby.
If you don't like it, stop it. Try getting your baby to sleep on his own as soon as you possibly can. If you're unlike me, it's best to make sure you can get as much rest as possible. Sleeping in another room or in another bed is as possible as sleeping WITH baby. Besides, there's been many reports about sleeping with baby in bed, which includes the possibility of snuffling baby or rolling over the slumbering tot while the adults are in deep sleep.
If you're sleeping with baby in the middle (that means between you and your partner), try moving baby to the other side of the bed. That means, to one side. The bed would have to be leaning against a wall or something concrete in order to prevent baby from falling off the bed. This sleeping arrangement could help you and your partner bond better, especially when you need an adult cuddle in the middle of the night, instead of a baby one.
If you like sleeping with your child, then you might have to endure some unwanted advice from others who have already helped their toddlers to sleep alone in their own beds. Every set of parents have different expectations and standards of raising their children and your friend/relative is not any different. Their advices are probably made in good will and they think what they're doing is the absolute right thing. Never squabble with your friends/relatives about issues like this one. The best way is to smile and react as little as possible by saying things like, "He's thriving and we love the arrangement now. Thanks anyway".
I have once heard this saying which goes like this, "Once you give birth to a child, you will henceforth spend the rest of your life seperating yourself from him". That is so so so so true. I couldn't agree more with that. You see, I can't sleep alone (without my child) because I don't want to seperate myself from him. He gives me security and I know he is safe sleeping with me. I am a breath away from saving him in "life threatening" situations. I want to know that he's so close I can breathe his scent. I can't seperate myself from him. I know I will have to someday.
The most important thing for me to do, is to slowly ease myself out of this habit and this need. For one, I am being selfish when I choose an arrangement which fits me best. I need to follow my child's lead if he appears to WANT or is READY to sleep on his own.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who is working out of her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She lives in PJ with her husband, Peter and 2 sons, Joshua and Jared. Marsha is the author of "Raising little magicians", "No Products to Sell" and other books. For more information on Marsha, visit http://www.marshamaung.com and to find out mroe about her books, visit http://www.marshamaung.com
Beecher limo rentals ..Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
Bridgeview limo Chicago ..Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Parenting |