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Every Mom Worries

Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother tells you (and tells you and tells you). You agree, judging by her slightly frazzled demeanor, that she could use a break. Maybe a trip to the gym. A date with her husband. Time to herself. So you recommend the great babysitter you've found. She responds with one of those "but-I-love-my-children" looks. And says something like: "Nobody can care for a child as well as her own mother."

Reality check: "A lot of mothers suffer incredible guilt about needing help to care for their children," Dr. Berger says. "And if Mom works full-time, the guilt is compounded. Every spare second, she figures, needs to be lavished on her kids." Trouble is, an overwhelmed mom isn't going to be on top of her game. Every parent (and every marriage) can benefit from the occasional kid-free outing. "It recharges your batteries and allows you to breathe in a different kind of atmosphere," Dr. Berger says. "When you take care of yourself, you take better care of your kids." And if you don't work outside the home, hiring the occasional sitter teaches your children that people other than you can provide them with care and safety. Besides, there's another bonus to getting away every now and then: When you return home, not only will you appreciate your kids even more, they'll appreciate you more too.

Cold Cop A one-woman germ patrol, this mom is always on the lookout for telltale signs of germs that can cause colds. When you're around her, you're forever fearing that your child may -- horrors! -- sniffle or cough, resulting in one of Mrs. Germophobe's nervous "you're-putting-my-children-at-risk" looks.

Reality check: The fact is that kids get an average of six colds a year, says Eric Neibart, M.D., an instructor of infectious disease and internal medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City. Thus, at any given time, a good 10 to 15 percent of your child's peers are contagious. And the culprits are impossible to detect, since colds are contagious a few days before symptoms appear and from two to ten days after. "Even a doctor can't tell you exactly when a cold is no longer transmittable," Dr. Neibart says. So unless you care to raise your child in a bubble, he's going to catch colds -- lots of colds. And that's okay. For the most part, colds are more of a nuisance for kids than a serious health problem. As for proper cold etiquette? Keep your child home until any fever or lethargy has subsided. Then, once he's feeling better, let him go about life as usual.

Mommy Einstein She plays Mozart CDs for her infant, uses flash cards on her toddler, and spends her week chauffeuring her children to and from karate, art, soccer, piano, ballet, and more. After an hour with one of her French-speaking, tennis-acing prodigies, you ditch your secret hope of an Ivy League education for your preschooler (whose extracurricular activities include playing "Princess Barbie Gets Married" and painting her shoes with nail polish).

Reality check: "There's simply no evidence that overexposing young children to flash cards, Mozart, or early-reading programs leads to higher intelligence or even better SAT scores," says child and adolescent psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., coauthor of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper- Parenting Trap. Yet our culture pressures concerned parents to begin early if they want their child to be academically competitive. "That attitude is doing much more harm than good," Dr. Rosenfeld says.

Sugar Shunner This mom enforces a strict no-sweets policy. No cookies, candy, or ice cream. Her idea of a "treat" is a granola-and-yogurt "sundae."

Reality check: Loading up on nutritionally void sugar calories isn't wise, but forbidding sugar entirely isn't the answer either, says Lynn Marotz, Ph.D., R.N., a professor of human development at the University of Kansas and coauthor of Health, Safety, and Nutrition for the Young Child. Completely restricting sugary foods can backfire big time: Instead of having a child who occasionally indulges his sweet tooth, you may create a kid obsessed with cookies, candy, and cake.

About The Author: Shelley Borle is a Virtual Assistant, Writer & Expert On Boys. Visit Her Country Variety Lifestyle Magazine http://www.countryvariety.com/CVL.htm as well as her CountryVariety.com Professional Virtual Services site http://www.countryvariety.com. Email shelley@countryvariety.com

In The News:

The Stellar Daisy, a massive South Korean tanker that sank in March 2017, was found on the floor of the South Atlantic Ocean nearly two years later, the CEO of an ocean exploration company revealed Sunday.
A strange spider with glowing eyes that lived more than 100 million years ago was recently discovered by paleontologists working in South Korea. 
The intense polar vortex that blanketed the Midwest and made its way to the East Coast with deadly subzero wild chills and snow may have had one benefit: killing off some bad bugs.
Colorado construction workers have made a surprising discovery, unearthing human bones of a Native American man that could date back a millennium.
Skygazers will be treated to the “super snow moon,” on Feb. 19, the largest supermoon of 2019.
In November 2016, astronomers watched a young star some 1,500 light-years away from Earth belch out an explosion of plasma and radiation that was roughly 10 billion times more powerful than any flare ever seen leaving Earth's sun. This sudden stellar eruption may be the most luminous known flare ever released by a young star — and it could help scientists better understand the still-murky process of star formation.
An audacious attempt to find explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton’s ship Endurance has been called off after the expedition team lost an undersea drone beneath Antarctic ice.
“Our wish is to fly this year,” NASA official Thomas Zurbuchen said at the surprise announcement of a new Moon mission overnight. “We want to incentive speed … We want to start taking shots on goal.”
Bones recently found in a Siberian cave have given researchers a new glimpse into the timeline of an extinct human species. The species – known as Denisovans – at one time lived alongside Neanderthals in the same cave, the evidence showed.
NASA's Opportunity Rover has died on Mars.

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