When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some fairly fixed ideas about how we wanted to raise our child, including allowing her to share our bed for as long as she wanted to.
We have been shocked and sometimes upset at other people's reaction to what seemed to be a very instinctive decision, to sleep with our daughter. I am often made to justify this decision and made to feel as if we are "bad" parents just because we hadn't trained her to sleep in a cot in her own room by 8 weeks old.
As it happens, we didn't even really talk about it, it just seemed the right and natural thing to do and offered some major advantages. Our daughter loved the constant contact and it made it so much easier to breastfeed during the night. By simply rolling over and letting her feed before either of us were fully awake, we were both able to drift back to sleep much quicker than if I had had to get up to feed, so everyone got extra sleep.
Many studies have shown that co-sleeping helps to establish breastfeeding and leads to a more settled and happy baby. Others claim that these benefits can last for years and that children who slept with their parents do better at school, have higher self-esteem, fewer health issues and is more likely to be well adjusted than their peers.
We know this goes against many bestselling books on parenting, such as Gina Ford and Richard Ferber but we are convinced that this was the right decision for us and for our daughter. Personally, I believe that night time should be about nurturing and closeness, not about training for the realities of later life.
Yes, there can be some downsides to co-sleeping, but most can be overcome with a few adjustments, such as buying a bigger bed. There have been many reported studies into the dangers of co-sleeping, the most recent published early this year in the Lancet. La Leche League, amongst others, claim that they are flawed as they do not distinguish between safe (following current guidelines re temperature, soft bedding etc) and unsafe (eg on a sofa or with parents who smoke or drink alcohol) co-sleeping.
Our daughter is very independent already (at 13 months) and I am convinced that this is due to all the extra nurturing and contact that she receives during the nights. At some stage, she will decide that she wants her own bed and she will be welcome to it. But in the meantime all three of us love the extra time we get together and there is nothing more wonderful than being woken by a kiss from your baby and seeing just how happy they are to be so close to you. I know that in this way we have created many special moments that we all treasure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What ever you personally decide, do make sure you follow the latest advice re safe sleeping for your baby. Much of it is commonsense, but the following guidelines should help:
? Always put your baby to sleep on their back.
? Use a firm mattress and never co-sleep on a waterbed or on a sofa.
? Do not use a pillow for your baby and always make sure that your baby's head is clear of your pillows and bedding. This will reduce the risk of smothering and overheating.
? Do not sleep with your baby if you smoke, have drunk alcohol or have taken any drugs which make you drowsy.
? Do not give your baby a pillow, and ensure that his head is not covered by the duvet or the sheets. Either of these could smother him.
? Use bedding that tightly fits the mattress and make sure there are no gaps between the bed and the headboard where they could become trapped.
If you are unsure or need further advice, always speak to your GP or Health Visitor.
Arabella Greatorex is the owner of http://www.naturalnursery.co.uk, an online store selling organic and fairly traded products of families.
Oswego taxi to Midway ..Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
shuttle from Midway Morris ..I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Parenting |