Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
no-contract cleaning service Glenview ..Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
Our children are our most important legacy to the world.... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Parenting |