Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
kitchen deep cleaning Deerfield ..Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
interior house cleaning Highland Park ..Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Parenting |