Drug testing

Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed

Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life, has no
self-control, and lacks respect for others. If these were the qualities of
your son, how would you feel for his future wives?

Yes, wives is plural, this is one major reason we need to set boundaries
for our children ? their future. One study showed that children born
recently on average will have more spouses than kids. Here are a few
examples of children who lack boundaries:

1. Little Johnny walks right into his parent's bedroom whenever he wants.
It does not matter if the door was open or closed.
2. Twelve year-old Steve frequently changes the channel on the television.
It does not matter if anyone was watching a show or not.
3. Susie blames others for her mistakes. It always seems to be her
teacher's fault, brother's fault, or a friend's fault when something does
not go right.
4. Marie is uncomfortable with how her boyfriend treats her and pressures
her for sex. She keeps dating him because she questions who else would want
to date her.

Without boundaries children will have problems in relationships, school, and
life. Many times addictive behavior can be traced to lack of boundaries.
Here are a few results that can occur:
1. Children can have controlling behavior
2. Children can be motivated by guilt or anger.
3. Without firm boundaries children are more likely to follow their peer
group. For example, making unwise choices on sex, drinking, or driving.
4. Children do not own their own behavior or consequences, which can lead to
a life of turmoil.
5. Children may allow others to think for them.
6. They may allow someone else to define what his or her abilities will be.
This denies their maximum potential.
7. When someone has weak boundaries they pick up other's feelings.
8. Weak boundaries may make it hard to tell where we end and another person
begins.

What is a parent to do? Many times we hinder our children from developing
boundaries. Realize we must teach our children boundaries; they are not
born with them. Here are a few suggestions to help develop boundaries.

1. Recognize and respect the child's boundaries. For example, knock on
their closed bedroom door instead of just walking in.
2. Set our own boundaries and have consequences for crossing them.
3. Avoid controlling the child.
4. Give two choices; this helps our children learn decision-making skills.
5. When you recognize that boundaries need to be set. Do it clearly, do it
without anger, and use as few words as possible.
6. We need to say what hurts us and what feels good.
7. It may be difficult to set a boundary. You may feel afraid, ashamed, or
nervous, that's okay, do it any ways.

Another way to work with boundaries and children is to model these for our
children.
1. Recognize your physical boundaries.
2. You have the right to request proper treatment, for example, poorly
prepared meals in a restaurant should be sent back, ask others to smoke away
from your space, and ask that loud music be turned down.
3. Share your opinions with your children. Allow your children their
opinions. Opinions are not right or wrong. This will help them think for
themselves.
4. Teach them how you decide on the choices you make.
5. Lets own what we do and what we don't do. Take responsibility for when
things go wrong.
6. Accept your thoughts, it is who you are.
7. Discover what your limits are, emotional and physical.

Setting boundaries is all about taking care of ourselves. This is the first
guideline we teach in our workshops. Other benefits include:
1. We will learn to value, trust, and listen to ourselves.
2. Boundaries are also the key to having a loving relationship.
3. Boundaries will help us with our personal growth.
4. We will learn to listen to ourselves (trusting our intuition). We
also will learn to respect and care for others and ourselves.
5. Boundaries will aid us in the workplace.

Boundaries are all about freedom and recognizing when these freedoms have been crossed. Boundaries give us a framework in which to negotiate life events. Recognizing and acting when our boundaries have been crossed will protect our freedom. Boundaries lead to winning relationships for both
parties. By building foundations based on mutual trust, love, and respect we can expect our children to grow up more tolerant and with a mature character. Simply put, boundaries simplify life.

Derek and Gail Randel M.D. are parent coaches who have customized programs
for corporations, schools, and parent groups. They can be reached at Parent Smart from the
Heart, 1-866-89-SMART, www.parentsmartfromtheheart.com , www.stoppingschoolviolence.com or
info@randelconsulting.com

In The News:

The Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C. has confirmed that five of its 16 Dead Sea Scroll fragments are fakes.
50 years ago today NASA’s historic Apollo 7 mission splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean after spending almost 11 days in space.
A newly described fossil of an extinct mammal relative and her 38 babies is among the best evidence that a major development of the evolution of mammals was trading increased reproductive ability for bigger brains.
Days after legendary physicist Stephen Hawking's final paper was published, a great number of his prized possessions will go up for auction, including some of his most important papers, including his doctoral thesis, a copy of "A Brief History of Time" and the script for one of his appearances on "The Simpsons." 
It was said to be a "near-suicide mission," and a previous attempt saw dozens of men killed and captured by the Nazis.
Scientists may have made a major leap forward on the path to growing a fully-formed human brain in the lab. According to a new report published in ACS Biomaterials Science & Engineering, researchers at Tufts University have now grown a 3D tissue model of the brain using human neurons, providing them with a better opportunity to study abnormal brain cells.
A 100-year-old letter from World War I has been unearthed, with the finder noting it is a "beautiful and special letter."
Graphic photos show a pair of great white sharks devouring a whale in Cape Cod Bay.
A deep -sea cucumber known as a “headless chicken monster” has been filmed in the Southern Ocean for the first time using camera technology developed by Australian researchers.
Billionaire Clive Palmer’s Titanic II project will open its European headquarters in Paris rather than London because he wants the office in Europe.

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities

Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More

Its OK For Your Child To Be Bored - In Fact, Its Recommended!

NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More

Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child

If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More

Childhood Obesity

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More

Back to School Success Tips

Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More

Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

Parents, Teach Thought-Stopping! Fix Crooked Thinking Caps

Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More

Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More

Caretaking Parents, Entitled Kids

Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More

Encourage Your Children Potential By Your Modeling

All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More

Maximizing Your ADHD Childs Performance in School.

As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More

Surprising Fun Solution to Kids Moods and Attitudes

As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More

Raising a Tobacco-Free Kid

We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First

Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More

Family Meetings 101

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More

Pregnancy and Excercising - 6 Reasons to Excercise During Pregnancy

Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More

Surviving as a Single Parent

Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More

The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children

What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More

Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them

Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling - For Mothers

"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More

Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?

I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More

street light prices outdoor wall pack lighting Pete's produce ..