Drug testing

Blended Families Can Be Successful

Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together.

As I was doing research for a recent book, I interviewed a young counselor at a youth camp. I was impressed with her sincerity, maturity, and gratitude that her "blended family" had made the effort and sacrifice to work together toward a common goal. She admitted that she was the instigator of most of the conflict and absolutely refused to cooperate on even the most menial request by her step-mother. She could tell that the adults were becoming increasingly unhappy and stressed and she was secretly glad that they were suffering.

Then an interesting thing happened. She was invited to spend a weekend with a friend and she saw what happens when families get along and support one another. The family held a family meeting to decide about some upcoming projects and chores. When putting activities on the calendar, she was amazed to see her friend volunteer to attend the ball game with her little brother so the parents could make another commitment. They laughed and joked with good natured ribbing as opposed to sarcastic mean spirited teasing. The family ended the family meeting with ice cream sundaes and she saw the kids pitch in without being asked and that they served the parents before getting their own bowl.

It was an eye-opener for this young lady to see that it is possible to work together in a win-win atmosphere. She honestly had not even realized it was possible to live in harmony as opposed to chaos and anger.

When she got home from that stay, she called a family meeting and everyone came fearing that she was going to say she was moving out if she didn't get her way. Instead, she told them about what she had witnessed and asked for a commitment for all of them to start over and become a cooperative, supportive and loving family where everyone was treated with respect.

She went on to tell me that it had not been easy to change old habits, especially with her. But, as a family they had set a goal and a commitment and had worked on their relationships and communication skills daily. As a young adult, she said that because of that commitment, she had gone into counseling to assist other young people who were filled with anger. She wanted to share the valuable lessons that she had learned.

Oh yes, she counts her step-mother as one of her best friends now.

In our living room is a beautiful potted plant. It contains a number of small individual stems and branches that, as separate entities, are fragile and unsteady. Each stem could probably make it if it were broken off and stuck in a glass of water, but it might not. However, grouped together, they gain strength and protection from one another. Their roots are intertwined and form a foundation that allows them to successfully withstand being knocked over and occasionally neglected.

Families are like that plant. We are all in this together, and we need to know there are others who will hold us up when we need it and support us as we grow stronger. The word for the strength of a unit is synergy. It means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

It is that common goal of cooperation and support that builds success in our children and our families. Please don't give up. Try one more time to provide the loving and respectful environment that each member of the family deserves.

Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world.

Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator ? 2005 www.ArtichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

In The News:

Researchers from Monterey bay Aquarium and Stanford University discovered an area the size of Colorado between California and Hawaii that appears to be a “White Shark Café,” but it is unclear if the sharks are there for food or sex.
A New Zealand family stumbled upon a massive jelly-like blob on a beach early Monday.
Long extinct cave lions may be about to rise from their icy graves and prowl once more alongside woolly mammoths and ancient horses in a real life Jurassic Park.
The European Southern Observatory's (ESO) Very Large Telescope (VLT) in Chile has a busy observation schedule, but sometimes cloudy or moonlit skies mean a temporary halt to scientific measurements. During those times, the observatory team chooses interesting and beautiful objects across the southern skies to image in color.
Tourists on a whale cruise were treated with a spyhop last month when three humpback whales launched one-by-one in succession off the coast of Nova Scotia in a rare triple breach.
A Japanese billionaire and a coterie of artists will visit the moon as early as 2023, becoming the first private citizens ever to fly beyond low-Earth orbit, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk announced tonight.
SpaceX's Elon Musk is getting ready to launch one of the biggest – and most powerful – spacecrafts the world has ever seen: the Falcon Heavy rocket.
A woman in Paulding County, Georgia, says that dozens of venomous brown recluse spiders have invaded her home and she doesn’t know how to get rid of them.
Deadly tsunamis crashing into Britain might seem far-fetched, but new research says it's more common than experts previously thought.
All the evidence shows our universe emerged from a single event: an eruption commonly known as the Big Bang.

Personal Honor

There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More

The Cost of Competition on Kids

The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More

Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!

Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More

Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier

1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More

Real Monsters Under Your Bed

There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More

His Toy, Her Toy

I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More

ADHD: Dialogue with a Non-Believer, Part Four

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Learning Responsibility is a Lifelong Process

Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More

A New Idea For Kids Party Parties: Hiring A Caricaturist Can Make Your Kids Party A Real Blast!

There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More

Lead with Love:How Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength to Manage Around Their Technical Weakness

My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More

Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes

Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More

Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim

The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More

The Reticular Activating System, and its Role in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Things to Stop Doing Right Away

1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Back to School Blues

Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children

It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More

Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice

Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More

5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager

Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More

How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More

5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News

Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More

Educational Toys And Childrens Books - A Must For Optimal Childhood Development

The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More

Home And School Education - Your Kids Can Benefit From Both!

Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More

Your Checking Account

Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More

induction street light supplier induction highbay Pete's produce ..