This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware of
the full extent of their child's basic needs.
Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney about
the girl leaving home after 'living alone for so many
years'? The parents were desolate. They'd given her
everything money could buy - so how could she possibly have
been lonely and unhappy?
Clearly, there were some needs that just weren't being met
at home, so the girl upped and left.
What are these basic needs we must be aware of if we're to
be effective parents?
There are four categories: physical, emotional, intellectual
and spiritual.
So often people overestimate the first category, physical
needs - but let's not underestimate them either! We all need
food and drink, warmth, clothing and shelter to protect us
from the elements.
These will sustain life, but by themselves they won't
promote positive relationships. Some parents, however,
shower their kids with material things in order to over-
compensate for the other areas.
And we all know that, despite their wealth, many of these
same kids are miserable. Their other needs are just not
being met.
Probably the most obvious of these other needs is emotional
in nature.
Love and affection are vital, but there's more to it.
Children need constant reassurance! When our personalities
are forming we are on the lookout for feedback, so that we
know what to accept and what to reject.
We also form our picture of ourselves from the feedback we
get from others, especially those who have 'significant'
roles in our lives: parents first, then siblings, relatives,
teachers, friends and so on.
The bottom line is that a child doesn't really know what to
make of himself until that feedback comes in.
And they make value judgements so quickly! 'Hey, I'm pretty
good at this, everbody tells me so!'
Or how about, 'Yeah, I guess I'm a pretty stupid, useless
person. They always laugh at me. That's if they take any
notice at all!'
As a parent it's easy for you to praise the child who's
doing well, but the child who's struggling needs as much -
no, needs more - praise and encouragement. And so often we
overlook this.
If you take the time to listen to your kids, to take their
interests and ideas seriously - even if they seem petty,
trivial or irrelevant - then you are investing heavily in
your children's emotional well-being.
Although many parents are becoming aware of the emotional
needs of children, some are a bit hazy when it comes to
their intellectual needs.
There's still a perception that those kids who do well at
school just happen to be the 'brainy' ones.
Yet a wide body of research suggests that school or
'academic' success will be determined by a child's positive
self-image AND by the stimulation and interaction the child
receives at home.
These affect the thought-processes of the child, and the
thought-processes (HOW the child thinks) are the tools used
in learning.
Kids who perform well at school consistently come from homes
where there's a lot of mental stimulation through play, a
variety of experiences, and interaction through discussion
and conversation.
Finally, if intellectual needs are hazy, there appears to be
downright confusion over spiritual needs.
That children have spiritual needs comes as a shock to some
parents, and others hotly dispute this need. This seems to
be because most people associate spiritual needs with
religion, but they are not necessarily related to religious
beliefs.
It's generally accepted in modern educational and clinical
psychology that we all have spiritual needs.
It's helpful to make your kids aware that there are greater
forces and powers at work in nature and in the universe, and
that their lives work best when they are in harmony with
these.
You can meet your kids' spiritual needs by participating in
your religion, but also by fostering a sense of awe and
wonder about the grandeur of the world.
Teach your children to respect nature and the life force
that permeates it.
On to this can be built an appreciation of the diversity and
variety of human lives and customs.
As a result your kids will grow up with a value system,
which when followed will lead to contentment and happiness.
A well-rounded individual, then, is one who's needs are met
in all the above categories: physical, emotional,
intellectual and spiritual.
Take action now to meet ALL your kid's basic needs. It's
never too late, but obviously the earlier you start, the
better. Your kids will be well-balanced and happy.
And you? Well, you'll be taking pride and pleasure in a job
well done!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting
confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
licensed cleaning services Lake Forest ..We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
Many families do not want to believe their child is... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Parenting |