This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware of
the full extent of their child's basic needs.
Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney about
the girl leaving home after 'living alone for so many
years'? The parents were desolate. They'd given her
everything money could buy - so how could she possibly have
been lonely and unhappy?
Clearly, there were some needs that just weren't being met
at home, so the girl upped and left.
What are these basic needs we must be aware of if we're to
be effective parents?
There are four categories: physical, emotional, intellectual
and spiritual.
So often people overestimate the first category, physical
needs - but let's not underestimate them either! We all need
food and drink, warmth, clothing and shelter to protect us
from the elements.
These will sustain life, but by themselves they won't
promote positive relationships. Some parents, however,
shower their kids with material things in order to over-
compensate for the other areas.
And we all know that, despite their wealth, many of these
same kids are miserable. Their other needs are just not
being met.
Probably the most obvious of these other needs is emotional
in nature.
Love and affection are vital, but there's more to it.
Children need constant reassurance! When our personalities
are forming we are on the lookout for feedback, so that we
know what to accept and what to reject.
We also form our picture of ourselves from the feedback we
get from others, especially those who have 'significant'
roles in our lives: parents first, then siblings, relatives,
teachers, friends and so on.
The bottom line is that a child doesn't really know what to
make of himself until that feedback comes in.
And they make value judgements so quickly! 'Hey, I'm pretty
good at this, everbody tells me so!'
Or how about, 'Yeah, I guess I'm a pretty stupid, useless
person. They always laugh at me. That's if they take any
notice at all!'
As a parent it's easy for you to praise the child who's
doing well, but the child who's struggling needs as much -
no, needs more - praise and encouragement. And so often we
overlook this.
If you take the time to listen to your kids, to take their
interests and ideas seriously - even if they seem petty,
trivial or irrelevant - then you are investing heavily in
your children's emotional well-being.
Although many parents are becoming aware of the emotional
needs of children, some are a bit hazy when it comes to
their intellectual needs.
There's still a perception that those kids who do well at
school just happen to be the 'brainy' ones.
Yet a wide body of research suggests that school or
'academic' success will be determined by a child's positive
self-image AND by the stimulation and interaction the child
receives at home.
These affect the thought-processes of the child, and the
thought-processes (HOW the child thinks) are the tools used
in learning.
Kids who perform well at school consistently come from homes
where there's a lot of mental stimulation through play, a
variety of experiences, and interaction through discussion
and conversation.
Finally, if intellectual needs are hazy, there appears to be
downright confusion over spiritual needs.
That children have spiritual needs comes as a shock to some
parents, and others hotly dispute this need. This seems to
be because most people associate spiritual needs with
religion, but they are not necessarily related to religious
beliefs.
It's generally accepted in modern educational and clinical
psychology that we all have spiritual needs.
It's helpful to make your kids aware that there are greater
forces and powers at work in nature and in the universe, and
that their lives work best when they are in harmony with
these.
You can meet your kids' spiritual needs by participating in
your religion, but also by fostering a sense of awe and
wonder about the grandeur of the world.
Teach your children to respect nature and the life force
that permeates it.
On to this can be built an appreciation of the diversity and
variety of human lives and customs.
As a result your kids will grow up with a value system,
which when followed will lead to contentment and happiness.
A well-rounded individual, then, is one who's needs are met
in all the above categories: physical, emotional,
intellectual and spiritual.
Take action now to meet ALL your kid's basic needs. It's
never too late, but obviously the earlier you start, the
better. Your kids will be well-balanced and happy.
And you? Well, you'll be taking pride and pleasure in a job
well done!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting
confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Many people still think that the game of chess is... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
One of the most difficult parts of being a father... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More
interior house cleaning Highland Park ..Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Parenting |