Drug testing

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow everything in life is stable and normal. People hold open doors, hard shopkeepers "chuck" and go all gooey before catching themselves and generally life is an easy ride. But gentlemen, when he who dares to step-out with a baby in tow (minus the wife) life becomes a series of obstacles that never ceases to surprise.

I don't mean a trip to the corner shop, "no siree"! I mean a fully-fledged trip into town, pram, milk bottles and spare nappies to boot! Small things are immediately noticeable, like that hard and mean-looking grocer down the road! When my wife goes in to his establishment he goes all gooey, in fact he doesn't notice me at all; just talks to my wife and son and ignores me as if I was the invisible man. But walking in to his shop with only my son, an apple to buy before the days outing ahead and he became meaner and harder. In fact he noticed me for the first time, glared at me as if I had just stolen the kid and was on the run and said "hope that's not for the little one"! I felt like saying what's it got to do with you mate but ?????on the bus the driver who suggested that I sit near the front instead of upstairs was nearly out of his seat and taking the part of usher before realizing that this was not really in his job description!

Somehow some basic human instinct suggests that 'man' is neither capable nor fit to look after a baby! This instinct immediately raises the hairs on the backs of people's necks, images of disaster loom in their minds and unseen forces push them forwards to offer help. They do not see a happy and carefree father pushing his laughing baby along in the pram, they see a harried father who is at his wits end and who is desperate for help. They see a tormented and unwilling baby, screaming and kicking in desperation, a father who is pulling his hair out and desperately looking around for somebody to just show him what to do.

Once in town and in the department store I headed straight for the baby changing room! Same routine as always except minus one cog ? the wife! I did what I had done so many times before whilst my wife had sat down to read a magazine. Well, the plan was the same as all those times before, make the milk give my son the bottle, lay him down on the nappy changing "thingy", change his nappy, etc! I did not even get as far as the hot water dispenser! One mum, before I had even entered the room stopped me in my tracks and in a very serious way informed me that the seat belt on the pram was not fastened. One has to be polite in situations like these; I myself planning ahead as always had removed the seat belt just then in preparation for lifting my son out of it once inside the baby room. I did not know of the golden rule that one cannot unfasten the seat belt until well inside closed doors!

Inside the room, some mystical being ran around the room telling all of the mums that a 'father-alone' was out and about! Upon entering heads swiveled in my direction, a series of forces pushing bodies towards me and unwanted advice started to escape from mouths. Once past I could hear whisperings, stories being generated and past on; a fictional myth growing in reality to become truth in mind! I shut myself off, warded off the numerous hands that where heading towards my sons cheeks like locusts, barged through with forced smiles and "no thanks", and managed to get to the water machine. I smiled politely to the lady who showed me how to press the button for hot water, grimaced when told that the milk I had made was too hot (how did she know?) and nearly barked when asked "is the wife in not well dear"!

These kindly mums, whose husbands obviously knew nothing about how to change a nappy or feed a baby his milk, had my son crying within five minutes. He doesn't like attention in the form of searching hands. He especially doesn't like getting his cheek pinched or chin chucked! I felt like shouting "give him air" or wading in with elbows to rescue him but they were all so well-meaning, these poor mums! Needless to say that as my sons screaming and bawling intensified to maximum pitch the mums turned to me as one as if to say "look at the poor man, doesn't know how to look after his baby".

Naturally as they confirmed their belief that I was totally inept and useless, wandering hands gained purpose and started to lift my baby out of the pram to offer him comfort ? my son hates strangers holding him! Well, I made a run for it, I grabbed the baby in mid-air, swiveled the pram around on a sixpence, closed my eyes tight and charged for the door, throwing aside mothers like pins at the bowling alley!

I went to the men's toilet to change my son's nappy! At least in the sanctity within, nobody talked to me, no advice was freely given and no insects to ward off. Naturally, looks of sympathy and confusion were issued freely, stories would abound later as husbands rushed to tell their wives about the "poor sad man with the baby" ? but who cares, just don't talk to me about it.

I suppose all is not so bad! A new dimension opened up, one that it would be best if my wife knew nothing about! I have never in my life had so many young ladies (ones who wouldn't know what the inside of a baby changing room looked like) surrounding me; albeit they were cooing at my son but ??? something about single men with babies must be an attraction. Anyway, I always enjoyed their reaction when saying loudly, "ah, here's my wife coming now", the desertion was abrupt and complete! I know how to handle that one; it's the rest that bothers me!

Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy he has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.

In The News:

Authorities in the Russian port city of St. Petersburg had an unexpected surprise Thursday during a weapons raid when they discovered a crocodile in the basement.
A dolphin was found off the coast of Australia dead after it apparently choked on a large octopus.
Meteorite hunters who flocked to Detroit from across the U.S. after a meteor exploded are finding the fragments.
Meteorite hunters have found the first pieces of the fireball that streaked across the sky in Michigan this week.
The reason for removing Jeanette Epps, who was scheduled to launch to the space station in June, was not given.
Excavation work on the uninhabited Greek island of Keros has unveiled a stunning look at the start of the Cycladic Bronze Age, showing off technological sophistication, impressive masonry work and precision detail well before its time.
New images from NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) suggest there is an underground network of lava tubes beneath the lunar surface that could offer astronauts easy access to water.
A young hedgehog that was unable to use its hind legs when it was found last year has been receiving hydrotherapy treatment from animal welfare experts.
An international team of scientists has unraveled the mystery behind the sudden deaths of 200,000 antelopes in Kazakhstan in May 2015.
A "potentially hazardous asteroid" known as 2002 AJ129 is set to fly by Earth at a whopping 67,000 miles per hour next month, there is no need to worry, scientists say.

Eco-Parenting

Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More

ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude

"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More

Is There Any Real Use For A Fun Quiz?

Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More

How Children Learn

Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More

Encouraging Your Child to Write

How in the world do you get your child to... Read More

Wholism and Materialism

Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More

Motherhood is a Perfect Adventure

How often do you think of family life as an... Read More

What Are Your Children Really Watching?

Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More

How To Develop Your Babys Brain

Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

Parents Complaints --- Arrogant Public Schools Turn a Deaf Ear

School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More

Blended Families Can Be Successful

Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More

Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More

When Time Out Dont Work

Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More

Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More

Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More

When Your Childs Adoption Story Changes: Nothing But the Facts or is It Nothing are the Facts?

Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More

Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane

It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More

Time, Stress, and a Baby

The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More

Public School Sex-Education Classes --- Bad News For Parents and Children

One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More

solar led parking lot lights parking lot lighting fixtures Pete's produce ..