Drug testing

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow everything in life is stable and normal. People hold open doors, hard shopkeepers "chuck" and go all gooey before catching themselves and generally life is an easy ride. But gentlemen, when he who dares to step-out with a baby in tow (minus the wife) life becomes a series of obstacles that never ceases to surprise.

I don't mean a trip to the corner shop, "no siree"! I mean a fully-fledged trip into town, pram, milk bottles and spare nappies to boot! Small things are immediately noticeable, like that hard and mean-looking grocer down the road! When my wife goes in to his establishment he goes all gooey, in fact he doesn't notice me at all; just talks to my wife and son and ignores me as if I was the invisible man. But walking in to his shop with only my son, an apple to buy before the days outing ahead and he became meaner and harder. In fact he noticed me for the first time, glared at me as if I had just stolen the kid and was on the run and said "hope that's not for the little one"! I felt like saying what's it got to do with you mate but ?????on the bus the driver who suggested that I sit near the front instead of upstairs was nearly out of his seat and taking the part of usher before realizing that this was not really in his job description!

Somehow some basic human instinct suggests that 'man' is neither capable nor fit to look after a baby! This instinct immediately raises the hairs on the backs of people's necks, images of disaster loom in their minds and unseen forces push them forwards to offer help. They do not see a happy and carefree father pushing his laughing baby along in the pram, they see a harried father who is at his wits end and who is desperate for help. They see a tormented and unwilling baby, screaming and kicking in desperation, a father who is pulling his hair out and desperately looking around for somebody to just show him what to do.

Once in town and in the department store I headed straight for the baby changing room! Same routine as always except minus one cog ? the wife! I did what I had done so many times before whilst my wife had sat down to read a magazine. Well, the plan was the same as all those times before, make the milk give my son the bottle, lay him down on the nappy changing "thingy", change his nappy, etc! I did not even get as far as the hot water dispenser! One mum, before I had even entered the room stopped me in my tracks and in a very serious way informed me that the seat belt on the pram was not fastened. One has to be polite in situations like these; I myself planning ahead as always had removed the seat belt just then in preparation for lifting my son out of it once inside the baby room. I did not know of the golden rule that one cannot unfasten the seat belt until well inside closed doors!

Inside the room, some mystical being ran around the room telling all of the mums that a 'father-alone' was out and about! Upon entering heads swiveled in my direction, a series of forces pushing bodies towards me and unwanted advice started to escape from mouths. Once past I could hear whisperings, stories being generated and past on; a fictional myth growing in reality to become truth in mind! I shut myself off, warded off the numerous hands that where heading towards my sons cheeks like locusts, barged through with forced smiles and "no thanks", and managed to get to the water machine. I smiled politely to the lady who showed me how to press the button for hot water, grimaced when told that the milk I had made was too hot (how did she know?) and nearly barked when asked "is the wife in not well dear"!

These kindly mums, whose husbands obviously knew nothing about how to change a nappy or feed a baby his milk, had my son crying within five minutes. He doesn't like attention in the form of searching hands. He especially doesn't like getting his cheek pinched or chin chucked! I felt like shouting "give him air" or wading in with elbows to rescue him but they were all so well-meaning, these poor mums! Needless to say that as my sons screaming and bawling intensified to maximum pitch the mums turned to me as one as if to say "look at the poor man, doesn't know how to look after his baby".

Naturally as they confirmed their belief that I was totally inept and useless, wandering hands gained purpose and started to lift my baby out of the pram to offer him comfort ? my son hates strangers holding him! Well, I made a run for it, I grabbed the baby in mid-air, swiveled the pram around on a sixpence, closed my eyes tight and charged for the door, throwing aside mothers like pins at the bowling alley!

I went to the men's toilet to change my son's nappy! At least in the sanctity within, nobody talked to me, no advice was freely given and no insects to ward off. Naturally, looks of sympathy and confusion were issued freely, stories would abound later as husbands rushed to tell their wives about the "poor sad man with the baby" ? but who cares, just don't talk to me about it.

I suppose all is not so bad! A new dimension opened up, one that it would be best if my wife knew nothing about! I have never in my life had so many young ladies (ones who wouldn't know what the inside of a baby changing room looked like) surrounding me; albeit they were cooing at my son but ??? something about single men with babies must be an attraction. Anyway, I always enjoyed their reaction when saying loudly, "ah, here's my wife coming now", the desertion was abrupt and complete! I know how to handle that one; it's the rest that bothers me!

Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy he has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.

In The News:

The Stellar Daisy, a massive South Korean tanker that sank in March 2017, was found on the floor of the South Atlantic Ocean nearly two years later, the CEO of an ocean exploration company revealed Sunday.
A strange spider with glowing eyes that lived more than 100 million years ago was recently discovered by paleontologists working in South Korea. 
The intense polar vortex that blanketed the Midwest and made its way to the East Coast with deadly subzero wild chills and snow may have had one benefit: killing off some bad bugs.
Colorado construction workers have made a surprising discovery, unearthing human bones of a Native American man that could date back a millennium.
Skygazers will be treated to the “super snow moon,” on Feb. 19, the largest supermoon of 2019.
In November 2016, astronomers watched a young star some 1,500 light-years away from Earth belch out an explosion of plasma and radiation that was roughly 10 billion times more powerful than any flare ever seen leaving Earth's sun. This sudden stellar eruption may be the most luminous known flare ever released by a young star — and it could help scientists better understand the still-murky process of star formation.
An audacious attempt to find explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton’s ship Endurance has been called off after the expedition team lost an undersea drone beneath Antarctic ice.
“Our wish is to fly this year,” NASA official Thomas Zurbuchen said at the surprise announcement of a new Moon mission overnight. “We want to incentive speed … We want to start taking shots on goal.”
Bones recently found in a Siberian cave have given researchers a new glimpse into the timeline of an extinct human species. The species – known as Denisovans – at one time lived alongside Neanderthals in the same cave, the evidence showed.
NASA's Opportunity Rover has died on Mars.

Where Will YOUR Kids Get A Job?

Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More

Helping Your Child Make and Keep Friends

What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More

A Guide To Help You Teach Your Children Positve Self-Image Through Fitness

Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First

Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More

One Definition of Success

As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More

They Call it Puppy Love

My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More

Back to School Responsibilities Again

It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More

Relate With Your Teen And Gain Their Trust

We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More

Coping With Colic

Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More

Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim

The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More

The POWER of Your Words

Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More

Are Parents Trying Too Hard?

One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More

Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education

I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More

Ten Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More

Book Review: How to Get Your Child to Love Reading

How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More

A Child Can Make a Difference

Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More

Marriages May End But Families Are Forever

It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More

The Mystery of Child Beliefs, Spirit in Children, Understanding Spirtuality in Children

In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More

The Safest Stuffed Toys for the Kids on your Gift List

Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids

There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More

7 Powerful Ways to Show Love to Children

Our children are our most important legacy to the world.... Read More

garage lights commercial street lights Pete's produce ..